Hello everyone. This is my first post on this site. I've had suicidal thoughts ever since I was 16. I'm 31 now. I've had a few attempts, 2 of which landed me in the hospital.
For the past 5 years life has been meh but things have taken a turn for the worse recently. I have a lot of money issues, don't really feel like working at all, and every time I wake up in the morning I am upset that I didn't die in my sleep.
The only thing keeping me alive for now is my 1 year old daughter. I'm still in a relationship with her mother but things are just bland between us, partly due to my depressive nature.
I am torn because I don't want my daughter to grow up without a father but I also don't want to be this negative and depressed influence on her. Besides her I really have nothing to live for.
I also have a severe porn addiction that I've been trying to quit for the last 7 years. I've given up on trying. I've given myself till the end of November to see if things improve.
Sorry for the long post.
For the past 5 years life has been meh but things have taken a turn for the worse recently. I have a lot of money issues, don't really feel like working at all, and every time I wake up in the morning I am upset that I didn't die in my sleep.
The only thing keeping me alive for now is my 1 year old daughter. I'm still in a relationship with her mother but things are just bland between us, partly due to my depressive nature.
I am torn because I don't want my daughter to grow up without a father but I also don't want to be this negative and depressed influence on her. Besides her I really have nothing to live for.
I also have a severe porn addiction that I've been trying to quit for the last 7 years. I've given up on trying. I've given myself till the end of November to see if things improve.
Sorry for the long post.
