This isn't so much an unpopular opinion, so much as it is my own unseemly self-indulgence, but this still seems like the best thread to post it in.
The only other website I visit that has an interactive aspect, besides this one, is reddit. And even then it only has a couple subs which hold any interest for me. However, they're still utterly impenetrable. Take r/collapse for instance. I have some interest in the topic, a lot less so these days because I honestly can't bring myself to give a shit about the state of the world (my life's always been garbage and it's not like I have any stake in how it all turns out, so why should I care?) and also how I just can't think of anything to say, but more importantly how that sub, and most anywhere else, is filled with people 100% a universe away from my own situation. Ultimately, there's no use saying a single word about anything. To even just lurk a place like that inspires feelings of near immediate nauseousness. And so it goes for literally the entire rest of the internet.
It's still admittedly frustrating sometimes though. When I'd like to say something, but then I remind myself how staggeringly futile it would be. I mean, as I have to remind myself, a sub like that is filled with people who love their lives and are very active in their participation of them. Me though? I couldn't be anymore different on those fronts. Nothing is more a pariah to relatively well adjusted people than an agoraphobic hermit, who also just so happens to be a complete buzzkill mired in pessimistic thinking.
The fact is, most people enjoy their lives and are able to live them. I cannot. No one has any concept of what it's like to be me, and I have no concept of what it's like to be them. I've spent my entire existence alienated from everything that is otherwise a default for everyone else. I've spent nearly 15 years in askesis from the world. Next to no one can understand this. Those that don't usually shill out empty advice or mockingly dismiss it, which both underscore the fact that they can't understand, nor will ever be able to. Other people have dreams, ambitions, and an ability to navigate and proceed through life, while feeling all its various ups and downs. I cannot understand this. Both because I have never, and will never, posses the capacity to feel or understand any such things, and that, on top of this, I have no frame of reference or way to even conceive the faintest glimpse of them to begin with. This is part of what renders nearly all communication/interaction a complete non-starter and makes it so that everything on the internet might as well not even be there. This also explains why I've never had any social bonds on the internet whatsoever (outside of those I've had here), despite being on it for over 20 years.
As I've mentioned before in other posts, there's also a person I met in a friendship capacity via reddit after they read something I posted on r/antinatalism, but this was basically an anomaly to end all anomalies. Both for the fact that I posted there at all, and also that I somehow got into a now months long social connection with another person over it, which is a first for me in my entire life. The only wonder is how it hasn't crashed and burned by this point, but there were a couple times where it's certainly close, mostly on account of my own self-sabotaging behavior. Well, I'll probably still manage to fuck it up.
The synapses and neurons in my brain might as well be a jumbled ball of yarn compared to everyone else, which is why I'll never be able to process things correctly and how that in turn puts me apart from 99.9% of other people. And on some level, even this person I've been talking to for the last few months. Be that as it may, I honestly don't think I could ever meet someone as highly resonant to my own thoughts, feelings, and perspective, but, at the end of the day, they still live/breathe in a world that to me might as well be a flat, 2D image. Like looking at a painting on a wall. And that's fundamentally what life is like for me. No matter what, it's just like a picture on a wall. I can look at it from different angles, I can touch its flat surface, but I can never be apart of it. Everything in life is like watching a TV show, or standing in a gallery looking at paintings. There's an impassable barrier that, just like the screen of a television or the canvas of a painting, I can never hope to cross. It's like someone watching one of those 360 degree VR videos on YouTube of random locations/events, except that's just their whole life.