unfounded, unscientific theory about the suicidal brain

[anhed0nia]

I have never discovered any evidence to support this idea, but I often think that there must be some fundamental distinction in the neurology or brain structure of people prone to suicidal ideation or action. It just seems like there are people who are truly, severely depressed but who don't express or act on self-destructive urges, and there are those of us who arrive at suicidal thoughts and conclusions with comparative ease; I'm sure there is no singular explanation for this and of course you simply cannot know what is in everyone's heart, but sometimes I fantasize about such a thing, just to exercise my imagination I guess.

I first started to express suicidal thoughts and feelings when I was very little, and this disposition never left me. I can't point to any severe trauma from that age, I was just very depressed and my thinking went straight to ending my life. Even during times when things are going relatively well and I'm not in a crisis state, I find myself thinking about suicide very naturally. I have to be very alert because sometimes if I am just mindlessly tuning out I might compulsively say "I want to kill myself" out loud, and I would really hate it if someone heard me and confronted me about it.

On the other hand I used to have this friend who had made depression the center of his identity, he was always talking about how he was in the worst state of anyone alive; you almost couldn't tell him if you were having a hard time because he would immediately one-up you. And yet, one day during a mental health conversation he casually said, "But you and I are like roaches, we'll be OK, life is tough but we'll make it through, etc." I was so angry with him for blithely assuming that he knew how I felt, what I thought about, what I was capable of. It was a big struggle to fix my face and not blurt out, "You are constantly competing to be the most depressed person on Earth and meanwhile you have absolutely no idea what is going on with your closest friends." There are various reasons we're not friends anymore, but that certainly stuck in my craw.

Anyway, I will say again that I'm sure this idea is purely imaginary--that there could be some specific groove in the cerebrum, for instance, that separates people with severe depression into those who do and do not pursue suicidal thought. But of course, if I'm wrong, I would love to hear about it.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

It's a tough one but I think environment and situational events have a big factor on it as well. Enough of crap can make anyone get worse. If these events were different maybe I wouldn't be here in the first place.

- school bullying
- knife point robberies 4 times
- undiagnosed autism
- parents doing odd stuff
- cancer at 20.

And the list goes on.

I even had two people ask - what was it like to have cancer (they had to remove one of my testicles) who cares anyway it's done now. Had an implant put it but it still didn't change the situation lol.

Have you heard of Matthew's Principle/Law? It's where if someone is going well most of the time let's say 80% then their outlook of events and life is more "rosey" however someone who is at 20% will be beaten down so much that it gets to a point of them not even trying because it's not worth it anymore.

 

[sserafim]

I think that depressed and suicidal people probably score higher in neuroticism in the Big 5. I think that they probably have overactive amygdalas (the part of the brain that feels fear). This is just my hypothesis though, I don't know how true it is

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I think that depressed and suicidal people probably score higher in neuroticism in the Big 5. I think that they probably have more active amygdalas (the part of the brain that feels fear). This is just my hypothesis though, I don't know how true it is

With autism the fight or flight activity of the brain (as you mentioned) basically never shuts down and is operational constantly. When we were cavemen it would only activate if a big cat was trying to kill us for example. But the modern world (for us as what I've read) it's active so often that we basically turn to mush.
Neuroticism is extremely prevalent in autism and ADHD.

 

[Final_Choice]

I think that depressed and suicidal people probably score higher in neuroticism in the Big 5. I think that they probably have more active amygdalas (the part of the brain that feels fear). This is just my hypothesis though, I don't know how true it is

I took a Big 5 test for a psychology class a few days ago and I scored high in neuroticism so it lines up.

 

[sserafim]

With autism the fight or flight activity of the brain (as you mentioned) basically never shuts down and is operational constantly. When we were cavemen it would only activate if a big cat was trying to kill us for example. But the modern world (for us as what I've read) it's active so often that we basically turn to mush.
Neuroticism is extremely prevalent in autism and ADHD.

Is mush the freeze response? I heard that there were different trauma responses and that freeze is the one where the parasympathetic nervous system becomes overactive, maybe because the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) has been exhausted. I have autism and ADHD and I scored high in neuroticism. The strange thing is that people think that I'm a chill person though

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Is mush the freeze response? I heard that there were different trauma responses and that freeze is the one where the parasympathetic nervous system becomes overactive, maybe because the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) has been exhausted. I have autism and ADHD and I scored high in neuroticism. The strange thing is that people think that I'm a chill person though

Sorry. Mush is kind of a UK thing to say. Turn to goop, freeze up, zombie (just as the infection start to turn you).
Yeah the therapist explained that to me with the breathing but honestly it does absolutely crap all. I had better results with just sitting with my dog.
I get that - I'm chill, very punctual, very systematic but inside…. It's basically a PC Overclocked to the max with the fans spinning nearly out of control. People saying you are chill is a neurotypical thing. I spoke with a guy at another animal sanctuary (he's neurodivergent) and he was saying things that I haven't heard in decades because I don't think I've ever dealt with any neurodivergent people in just day to day things.

 

[Aergia]

I think that they probably have overactive amygdalas

Dr K. (certified psychiatrist) does say that here.

 

[divinemistress36]

I think that depressed and suicidal people probably score higher in neuroticism in the Big 5. I think that they probably have overactive amygdalas (the part of the brain that feels fear). This is just my hypothesis though, I don't know how true it is

Yes, I'm neurotic asf this makes sense

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

With autism the fight or flight activity of the brain (as you mentioned) basically never shuts down and is operational constantly. When we were cavemen it would only activate if a big cat was trying to kill us for example. But the modern world (for us as what I've read) it's active so often that we basically turn to mush.
Neuroticism is extremely prevalent in autism and ADHD.

This is such an accurate description of autism - no wonder we want to end it. You would too if your brain was unable to be fixed.

I am terrified of death but know there's no way I can keep on with a toxic brain. I hate this autismbrain that basically guaranteed life would be torture. I fantasize now about a peaceful ending into oblivion and never feeling the horror and pain of reality.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

This is such an accurate description of autism - no wonder we want to end it. You would too if your brain was unable to be fixed.

I am terrified of death but know there's no way I can keep on with a toxic brain. I hate this autismbrain that basically guaranteed life would be torture. I fantasize now about a peaceful ending into oblivion and never feeling the horror and pain of reality.

Things got bad last year. I went into a garden centre to buy pipes and stuff. I really wasn't thinking straight. Was going for the car fumes method. While I was in there researching realised that most modern cars aren't like older cars with the the exhaust fumes (and catalytic converters). Few months later bought a rope. Still got it but I'm sort of just waiting for the next thing and see what happens. I've said to myself stay for the dog. Don't be a selfish prick. She's older and I can't do that to her now.
Even when I got the rope I just overthink too much. It's maddening talking to people who aren't autistic for advice because they do not know what it's like. Parents, teachers, GPs, etc.
That's why I'm limiting human contact - absolute minimum. I would post the art I've done which passes time but it would probably expose who I am.

 

[Rev346]

Didn't a high schooler do a study of deceased peoples brains and find a difference in the ones belonging to people that caught the bus? It was a very small sample size so not enough to support a full theory but definitely a starting point for additional research.
Found it!

A 16-year-old pocketed $50,000 for her award-winning discovery in the brains of people who died by suicide

Natasha Kulviwat is not your ordinary junior in high school. She's been analyzing human brains for the last year, and the research won her $50,000.

www.businessinsider.in

 

[oneeyed]

This is one of the reasons why it's so difficult to "treat" for those seeking treatment, it could be so many things and a combination of multiple issues.
For me, the first time I felt suicidal was due to bullying. This shattered my confidence, self esteem, and anxiety disorders developed and skyrocketed. This level of stress isn't good for anyone but imagine it on a developing brain (around 12 years old). There's bound to be some crossed wires there.

I've read articles where there's some evidence showing a relation to gut microbe and mental health. Gut microbes can also be affected by elevated levels of stress. It's a never ending positive feedback loop that eventually breaks down your whole body.

 

[cantthinkofusername]

I think that depressed and suicidal people probably score higher in neuroticism in the Big 5. I think that they probably have overactive amygdalas (the part of the brain that feels fear). This is just my hypothesis though, I don't know how true it is

i dont think its baseless, i dida couple tests online and i scored highest possible in neuroticism

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Things got bad last year. I went into a garden centre to buy pipes and stuff. I really wasn't thinking straight. Was going for the car fumes method. While I was in there researching realised that most modern cars aren't like older cars with the the exhaust fumes (and catalytic converters). Few months later bought a rope. Still got it but I'm sort of just waiting for the next thing and see what happens. I've said to myself stay for the dog. Don't be a selfish prick. She's older and I can't do that to her now.
Even when I got the rope I just overthink too much. It's maddening talking to people who aren't autistic for advice because they do not know what it's like. Parents, teachers, GPs, etc.
That's why I'm limiting human contact - absolute minimum. I would post the art I've done which passes time but it would probably expose who I am.

There's one family member I'm staying here for but that's not aa life.

I am scared to research methods but also know I need to be prepared.

People who aren't autistic don't know what this brain of a prison is like so I am also limiting contact - enough to keep me going as I think we do need some contact, but it's more 'say hi to the nice lady in the cafe' and not make close friends. Get enough of a job to keep a roof over my head while i plan, and work on my art. no retirement, no house - just escape

My plan gives me more hope than this world can. we'll know freedom finally

 

[Olisop21.]

Yes, I'm neurotic asf this makes sense

I'm psychotic af.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I'm psychotic af.

Psychosis is where you see or hear things that are not there (hallucinations) or believe things that are not true (delusions). It's not really a prevalent factor for autism.

Neuroticism is a personality trait associated with negative emotions. It is one of the Big Five traits. Individuals with high scores on neuroticism are more likely than average to experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, pessimism, guilt, depressed mood, and loneliness.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think so too. I personally think that it does take a different kind of brain to be suicidal in most cases. The majority of people seem to default to living even when they are suffering so much. Though, additionally, I do think that certain situations can also make somebody suicidal. For example, if somebody had a situation in where they are irreparably screwed over for life and couldn't hope their way out of the situation, they'd probably realise just how hopeless it is to stay alive and keep on fighting. Then again, there are people out there who are stuck with an irreparable condition and still want to live which does make me think that the brain has something to do with making somebody suicidal

 

[conflagration]

People in deep depression are less likely to CTB, because CTB requires planing and high amount of effort. People with aigtated depression are more likely to CTB as fear and agitation gives energy. Also people who are recovering from depression are more likely to CTB because energy comes back first and improvemnt in mood second.