Uncomfortable in a foreign country

[kosmischerunfall]

I'm ashamed walking down the street looking like me, ugly poc duckling

Being a nurse.. me? The 5'2 small "tall" woman that needs help with picking and transferring patients?

The one that wanted to suicide, but feels [in]capable to work with humans?

I thought my antisocial would go away after starting this apprenticeship, but nothing changed at all

I know most of all won't understand this

But my mind thinks in "how do i fit in", beieng different, is bad.

I'm different, and I feel lonely, I hate my mother for moving in into a white country, it's a curse.

I will be forever an Outsider.

My Boyfriend is Filipino, and i seem to notice that he can easily make friends and that makes me a bit jealous can't even lie.

He seems friendly, extroverted and non akward, totally opposite of me, i hate myself so much lmao.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I have the opposite problem. I've always felt way more comfortable in a foreign environment, and my social anxiety tends to be significantly lower. I think it's because there's sort of an "expectation to be different". Whereas if I'm in my home country and I still don't fit in I feel like shit.

 

[GotTheTickets]

I was just talking with someone yesterday that my country is over 90% "white" and would like to see and meet some people that are different. I've been working overseas for some time. Best time of my life. I've met people from Indonesia, Sri Lanka, Philippines. My friend married a woman from Philippines. Language barrier can be rough, I've tried to learn some Asian language, but failed English is ok most of the time tho.

i totally get it. i'm a bosnian living in austria. my family and i moved here almost a decade ago and i'm still not used to it. austrians aren't very fond of us "yugos". i've experienced xenophobia many times. i don't look very white, probably cause of turk admixture or something so they can immediately tell i'm not from here. i'd kill to be a blonde blue eyed girl just so i'd be fully accepted here and in the west in general.

i also have an insecurity around my height, except it's the other way around for me; i'm taller than the average woman here. us bosnians tend to be taller. i'm not a skyscraper or anything, i'm 5'6, but most girls here are shorter than that. being around them makes me feel like an ugly, masculine giant lol.

I've met a lot of people from former Yugoslavia and other parts of Balkans. RAKIJA stole my heart the most tho. Maybe that's why people there are a little bit on the wild side, in a positive way.