Discussion Two big lies

[Gromit-CTB]

Time is a great healer.

It will get better.


I hate these lies, these have been the cause of so much pain for me.

Why do "helpful" people think they have the right to throw this garbage at you.

My generic response is "death is comfort"

Usually gets them to leave

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

A lot of people lack insight. Most say these things without ever really giving it much thought. Also, a lot of people will believe something, just because it sounds good and makes them feel better. Most don't even care to understand it either or care what the truth is, so I don't even try to debate it anymore. I spent way too much time when I was younger doing so. Time wasted.. all it did was sour me.

 

[sadworld]

They think they are helping but most of the time they just make it worse... It's hard for someone to understand us if they have never been suicidal like us.

 

[Sherri]

I went to my doc to stop taking anti depressants, he got so angry and in fact increased the dose dramatically and said if I don’t take it he can’t be my doctor anymore... I’m so upset.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I went to my doc to stop taking anti depressants, he got so angry and in fact increased the dose dramatically and said if I don’t take it he can’t be my doctor anymore... I’m so upset.

That is straight up abusive. You need a new doctor. Besides, those meds are poison anyway. I know. They ruined my life, as well as many others. I've been off them over a year and I'm still not back to normal. I'm pretty sure I'm officially asexual now too because of them. We'll see.

 

[darksideofthebright]

More often than not these statements just give false hope to a lot of people and increase their sufferings. People say that time will heal all, then how much time is it going to take? Because life is getting harder by the minute. No one can promise that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, and even though they think they are being supportive, they are just being cruel.

 

[LunarPyotr]

I went to my doc to stop taking anti depressants, he got so angry and in fact increased the dose dramatically and said if I don’t take it he can’t be my doctor anymore... I’m so upset.

I might be wrong but I think that he doesn't care about your health. He probably gets some "money under the desk" to make people use certain product.

This what happens with my previous doctor when I just wanted something against headache that I used for very long time.
He prescribed me some different pills that didn't help at all.
Later on, my local drug store filed a police report on this doctor he did similar thing to other people and he lost his license.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

More often than not these statements just give false hope to a lot of people and increase their sufferings. People say that time will heal all, then how much time is it going to take? Because life is getting harder by the minute. No one can promise that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, and even though they think they are being supportive, they are just being cruel.

Time can heal SOME things. Not all. Hell, I lost my cat 13 years ago and thinking about her hasn't gotten any easier whatsoever. In fact, it gets harder. We were attached to each other. She followed me everywhere, even sat on the side of the tub when I took a shower. Every time I slept, she always slept in my arms with her head on my neck. God I miss her. She was one living being I was genuinely close with.. and that's just one example.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I went to my doc to stop taking anti depressants, he got so angry and in fact increased the dose dramatically and said if I don’t take it he can’t be my doctor anymore... I’m so upset.

This what happens with my previous doctor when I just wanted something against headache that I used for very long time.
He prescribed me some different pills that didn't help at all.
Later on, my local drug store filed a police report on this doctor he did similar thing to other people and he lost his license.

Oh gosh, I can't believe these things actually happen, and they happened to you guys. I am so sorry, that's just utterly gross.

 

[yive]

Note: There are some obvious things to realise about this phrase (“This too shall pass”).

-- These are:
1. This phrase (“This too shall pass”), is actually telling you, that suffering is something that “comes and goes”.
-- So, if suffering is constantly “coming and going”, then this means that suffering is something, that is going to keep appearing in life.
-- And, if suffering is going to keep appearing in life, then what's the point of staying in this thing called life.
-- Moreover, it’s pure stupidity, to stay in a place, which you know will cause you suffering.

2. If this is a phrase that is, “said by wise saints/sages/gurus/teachers/enlightened-beings/etc, throughout the centuries”, then this means that suffering is something that has been happening for centuries.
-- Ie, this means that, all these saints/sages/gurus/teachers/enlightened-beings/etc, have not been able to reduce/prevent/stop/eliminate suffering.

Therefore, suffering is something that will always be in life/existence, which therefore means, that suffering is something that is inherently built into existence, (or, is a part of existence, or, existence is made from suffering, etc).

And it also means, that after centuries, there is still no solution to suffering.

So, the key point is, that:
If the only way for existence/life to exist, is if suffering exists, then existence is not worth having.

Moreover, it’s pure stupidity to want existence/life, since the percentage/ratio, of the total number of minutes of suffering (in a person’s life), as compared to the total number of minutes of true freedom/peace/love/bliss (in a person’s life), is 99% (as compared to 1%).

Indeed, when it’s put like this, it’s obvious that it’s not just about stupidity, but something a lot more cruel/evil/malevolent, (because no one would truly consent to an activity that has 99% suffering, (especially if that activity has no freedom/choice/option, of a way to leave that activity, in an instant/painless/effortless/guaranteed/permanent way)).

So, what this means, is that whilst you’re suffering, if anyone is advising that you should “just let this pass”, they’re actually advising you to “just accept this”, (ie, they’re trying to brainwash/program you, to believe that “suffering is acceptable”), and therefore, they’re responsible for perpetuating/creating/maintaining/causing suffering, and therefore, they’re inherently cruel/evil/malevolent.

And therefore, if these phrases are said by saints/sages/gurus/teachers/enlightened-beings/etc, then these people/entities are inherently (by definition), cruel/evil/malevolent.

 

[ecmnesia]

i agree with other users input: people don't reflect enough on those statements before spilling them out. to be fair, i think this is a sign of egocentrism. what those individuals doesn't seem to grasp that their experiences on life under any circumstances reflect the multitude of experiences one can have.

i don't want to be seen as someone who's spreading negativity or encouraging anything. but society needs to confront the fact that: not everything can be healed, time cannot fix everything, something's lack solution and some problem cannot be solved.

time can heal. things can get better. but it a possibility. not an absolute true.

 

[LunarPyotr]

Oh gosh, I can't believe these things actually happen, and they happened to you guys. I am so sorry, that's just utterly gross.

This is actually illegal in many countries but this happens almost everywhere. You just need to find a corrupt doctor..
There was also one report of an pharmacy company in the United States that paid doctors to prescribe their highly addictive medications. I remember that some YouTuber did a news report about that one company but I forgot his name : P

 

[Meditation guide]

I went to my doc to stop taking anti depressants, he got so angry and in fact increased the dose dramatically and said if I don’t take it he can’t be my doctor anymore... I’m so upset.

That's a typical doctor. They are authoritarians of women. Stop going to him please. He's a jerk. I prefer women doctors usually.

 

[Ironweed]

Time is a great healer.

It will get better.

To play devil's advocate, I think that this is the case for some people, some of the time. Some people who are seriously contemplating or even attempt suicide do in fact go on to some sort of satisfactory life post-attempt. It doubtless happens. Sometimes. Where the error creeps in is claiming that simply because something applies to some people it will necessarily apply to all people. All Golden Retrievers are dogs is a true statement, but claiming all dogs are Golden Retrievers is not. Yet pro-lifers note the former and claim the latter. And seem to take the position that if you repeat something often enough it will become true.

The other issue, of course, is quantifying how much time needs to pass before this "great healer" balm takes effect. One year? Three years? Ten years? Who knows? In the case of pro-lifers, I suspect, they don't honestly care, never mind know. To my way of thinking it certainly seems reasonable to not rush into ending your life, but that at some point it is ALSO reasonable to say to yourself, yeah, this just isn't working. And will, in all likelihood, never work. This quote from comedian Doug Stanhope says it better than I could.

“Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.”

FWIW, one of the greatest indicators that you will ultimately commit suicide is a previous suicide attempt. Every individual life insurance policy lists that as an immediate disqualification, probably with good reason. And life insurance policies are one of the most profitable things insurance companies sell. Yet they won't sell you a policy if you have had an attempt, even after decades.

As an aside, the pithy quote that always grinds my gears is:

Everything happens for a reason.

Which is funny, because it would actually work as a justification FOR committing suicide.

Everything happens for reason.
X killed himself.
Therefore, X killing himself happened for a reason.

Sorry for the rambling, obviously I need more coffee.