Venting TW: grooming

[EvisceratedJester]

If it goes any further i'm definitely contacting the FBI. I'm tired of this abuse

You should really try doing it now instead of waiting for things to get worse. CSEM is illegal and you don't know if he may have done this to others too. Waiting for the situation to escalate isn't safe.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

Not very surprising that Snapchat doesn't give a f.... Still very sorry that didn't work.

I wish you all the best and pray to the gods( not religious, not sure which one exactly so I just gonna ask all of em) that they will take care of this.

Edit: they meaning the FBI mostly. Bit if divine intervention helps that's also ok

 

[Xx_horrorwood_xX]

You should really try doing it now instead of waiting for things to get worse. CSEM is illegal and you don't know if he may have done this to others too. Waiting for the situation to escalate isn't safe.

When i was trying to explain that we needed to set boundaries he said "oh no, this is how all my past relationships ended."

Not very surprising that Snapchat doesn't give a f.... Still very sorry that didn't work.

I wish you all the best and pray to the gods( not religious, not sure which one exactly so I just gonna ask all of em) that they will take care of this.

Edit: they meaning the FBI mostly. Bit if divine intervention helps that's also ok

Thank you And don't worry, i'm not religious either, so that's fine

 

[EvisceratedJester]

When i was trying to explain that we needed to set boundaries he said "oh no, this is how all my past relationships ended."

That's a big red flag. Respecting boundaries is a very important part of a good relationship. It's likely that he may have tried or has done similar things to others in the past. Please contact the authorities about this. A lot of people wait until the situation escalates and it leads them being seriously harmed, whether it be physically, psychologically, or both.

 

[Xx_horrorwood_xX]

That's a big red flag. Respecting boundaries is a very important part of a good relationship. It's likely that he may have tried or has done similar things to others in the past. Please contact the authorities about this. A lot of people wait until the situation escalates and it leads them being seriously harmed, whether it be physically, psychologically, or both.

i've already been psychologically harmed. I'm paranoid. Also this isn't the first something like this has happened to me. He also said i was being aggressive because i wasn't sending pictures

 

[maniac116]

I don't know what to do. My "boyfriend" is actively abusing, manipulating, grooming, and gaslighting me. He has my nudes and forces me to send things i'm not comfortable with. The idea of sex makes me repulsed now. My friends are begging me to leave him, but those pictures and videos have my face in them. I don't know what to do. This is hell.
I don't know what to do. If my parents found out, I don't know what they'd do. I feel ashamed and filthy and gross.

Honestly, I think you do know what to do. You need to leave that terrible situation!
As far as the nude pics, if he posts them without your permission he can be prosecuted & sued as well.
Please don't continue to be a victim.
He is a bad person!!!!!
I hope you make some tough but good decisions. You deserve to be free if that crap.
Peace & love

I don't know what to do. My "boyfriend" is actively abusing, manipulating, grooming, and gaslighting me. He has my nudes and forces me to send things i'm not comfortable with. The idea of sex makes me repulsed now. My friends are begging me to leave him, but those pictures and videos have my face in them. I don't know what to do. This is hell.
I don't know what to do. If my parents found out, I don't know what they'd do. I feel ashamed and filthy and gross.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

i've already been psychologically harmed. I'm paranoid. Also this isn't the first something like this has happened to me. He also said i was being aggressive because i wasn't sending pictures

He's manipulating you. He's trying to guilt trip you into doing what he wants.

 

[Xx_horrorwood_xX]

He's manipulating you. He's trying to guilt trip you into doing what he wants.

yeah :( i feel obligated to stay with him though

 

[EvisceratedJester]

yeah :( i feel obligated to stay with him though

You are not obligated to stay with anyone. If he doesn't make you feel safe and is harming you then you do not have to stay with him. Your safety and well-being is your first priority. You need to be there for yourself and part of that is making sure to recognize that if someone makes you feel unsafe, you are allowed to leave.

Please try and contact the authorities about this and look into the resources I gave you. Nobody should have to go through what you are going through. You deserve better than this.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

i've already been psychologically harmed. I'm paranoid. Also this isn't the first something like this has happened to me. He also said i was being aggressive because i wasn't sending pictures

These guys all have the same kind of handbook apparently, it's insane.

But girl, honestly if any guy shows signs like this; run.

I have a very bad type in men and I also attracted those guys like crazy (not looking like a woman anymore brought the number down significantly) and I swear, there are good ones out there, you just have to set up boundaries and leave as soon as you see the signs. Not easy but it will get easier over time once you train yourself a bit mentally i guess. takes some deprogramming.

I honestly was convinced at some point that i don't deserve better cause i only attract those people, but nah, they go for insecure and people who tend to be people pleasers mostly, cause were nice and easier to manipulate.

 

[Xx_horrorwood_xX]

You are not obligated to stay with anyone. If he doesn't make you feel safe and is harming you then you do not have to stay with him. Your safety and well-being is your first priority. You need to be there for yourself and part of that is making sure to recognize that if someone makes you feel unsafe, you are allowed to leave.

Please try and contact the authorities about this and look into the resources I gave you. Nobody should have to go through what you are going through. You deserve better than this.

thank you, i'll try

These guys all have the same kind of handbook apparently, it's insane.

But girl, honestly if any guy shows signs like this; run.

I have a very bad type in men and I also attracted those guys like crazy (not looking like a woman anymore brought the number down significantly) and I swear, there are good ones out there, you just have to set up boundaries and leave as soon as you see the signs. Not easy but it will get easier over time once you train yourself a bit mentally i guess. takes some deprogramming.

I honestly was convinced at some point that i don't deserve better cause i only attract those people, but nah, they go for insecure and people who tend to be people pleasers mostly, cause were nice and easier to manipulate.

the only good guys i'd be willing to date are wayyy older than me and married (spencer charnas and hugh dancy my loves) but in all seriousness, thank you. It means so much to have some who understands or can understand what i'm going through

 

[DrinkyCrow]

thank you, i'll try

the only good guys i'd be willing to date are wayyy older than me and married (spencer charnas and hugh dancy my loves) but in all seriousness, thank you. It means so much to have some who understands or can understand what i'm going through

No problem, I'm glad I'm helpful for once lol.

And i unfortunately understand that being into older guys thing way too much, but you're gonna grow into that at some point too hopefully lol.

I only dated guys between 30-40 when i was 15-17, everyone knew and no one cared. Back then I felt like "oh yeah I'm such an adult". Now I'm 27 and i could never imagine seeing this as an adult and being ok with it?

I don't know what's up with society, maybe it was also because i literally also looked and acted way older than i was, but it's fucked up.

Just know that this is no new phenomenon, most people i know my age that had unrestricted Internet access as a kid got groomed online somehow (actually crazy how common it was, and still is) and did stuff like this. I literally saw a reel on Instagram a few days ago about this, and all the comments where; oh God, why did we all do that??? And had like thousands of likes.

Edit: we were all mostly just "lucky" enough to only engage in inappropriate chats and sending out pics in 144p or like 2 mega pixel quality that will most likely just look like a bunch of pixels nowadays.

 

[Xx_horrorwood_xX]

No problem, I'm glad I'm helpful for once lol.

And i unfortunately understand that being into older guys thing way too much, but you're gonna grow into that at some point too hopefully lol.

I only dated guys between 30-40 when i was 15-17, everyone knew and no one cared. Back then I felt like "oh yeah I'm such an adult". Now I'm 27 and i could never imagine seeing this as an adult and being ok with it?

I don't know what's up with society, maybe it was also because i literally also looked and acted way older than i was, but it's fucked up.

Just know that this is no new phenomenon, most people i know my age that had unrestricted Internet access as a kid got groomed online somehow (actually crazy how common it was, and still is) and did stuff like this. I literally saw a reel on Instagram a few days ago about this, and all the comments where; oh God, why did we all do that??? And had like thousands of likes.

Edit: we were all mostly just "lucky" enough to only engage in inappropriate chats and sending out pics in 144p or like 2 mega pixel quality that will most likely just look like a bunch of pixels nowadays.

yeah, i've only ever been attracted to guys way older than me. It's a problem.. But also, i look and act way older than i am, but i also was forced to grow up faster than my peers.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

the only good guys i'd be willing to date are wayyy older than me and married (spencer charnas and hugh dancy my loves) but in all seriousness, thank you. It means so much to have some who understands or can understand what i'm going through

yeah, i've only ever been attracted to guys way older than me. It's a problem.. But also, i look and act way older than i am, but i also was forced to grow up faster than my peers.

Do not date men who are older than you (and I mean by several years, not just one or two years), at least not until you are an adult. I understand being attracted to older men but any older guy willing to date you is just taking advantage of you because of your age. A lot of these men are abusers who will throw you away for someone else younger. I think it would be better for you, moving forward, to try sticking with guys your age. There are plenty of teenage boys who happen to look older for their age who are probablymuch better to go out with. Do not go for older men until you are an adult.

I'm saying this as someone who also likes older guys and is in a relationship with a massive age-gap. A lot of older people like to take advantage of teens and children because they are much easier to groom and exploit.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

But also, i look and act way older than i am, but i also was forced to grow up faster than my peers.

Not surprising to hear. Thats probably why you can't really connect to guys you're age. I get it lol. I can assure you tho, this will get better if you get to your early/mid twenties. Was the case for me, i got engaged to a dude 9 months younger than me (i was like 21 or so, he still looked like 30 lol) and i wouldn't had left him, he left me but it was nice as long as it lasted.

So there's still some things that can and will get better for you probably.

 

[Xx_horrorwood_xX]

GUYS! I REPORTED HIM TO THE FBI!!!!

 

[DrinkyCrow]

Do not go for older men until you are an adult.

I'm saying this as someone who also likes older guys and is in a relationship with a massive age-gap. A lot of older people like to take advantage of teens and children because they are much easier to groom and exploit.

Seconding this a lot, but also even if you're 18-21, be wary of the dudes who seek out people in you're age.

There is most likely a reason why no one in their age range wants them either. That's why they look out for young, inexperienced and easy to impress.

Damn, most of the times i went out on dates with guys in their 40s as a 25 year old or so, it took an hour until i thought ; yeah i get why your wife left ya and took the kids.

 

[maniac116]

yeah :( i feel obligated to stay with him though

Feelings are not reality.
Solution is simple: leave.
Staying is complicated: you'll feel shame for not doing what's in your best interest.
Hell continue to abuse & manipulate.
And it will get worse!
Please do yourself a favor that can change your life for the better by taking your life back.
I don't like telling people what to do but in this situation I'm just stating the obvious

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I had to ban this user for being under aged..

Just wanted to give lots of credit to all of you who tried to help! You're awesome!

 

[-Link-]

Just wanted to give lots of credit to all of you who tried to help! You're awesome!

Uhhh yeah y'all did phenomenally. So much respect to everyone who helped in here. (I'd name names but don't want to accidentally leave someone out.)