Renv1o_
Student
- May 10, 2023
- 128
Tw for sh mention//
It's literally just turned midnight but I've kind of convinced myself that, because it's my birthday, I could hurt myself. Writing that out is crazy and I feel insane, but maybe people around me will be less disappointed with me if I do it today, of all days? I just can't stop thinking about it.
Is there even a way to hide self harm from a partner? It's ridiculous to even ask. I keep scrambling and picking apart my brain in hopes that there's some way for me to go through with these urges without hurting those around me. I've been thinking of it all day.
I'm pathetic. I really didn't want to make it to 20. I went into this year certain I'd be gone by now- I wish I was entirely alone, so I could be left to self destruct without the guilt. It's so so selfish.
I have to live, but I really dont know how to. I tell people I'm recovering, but I absolutely don't want to. I'm so fucking sick of myself and this stupid impulsive urge.
It's literally just turned midnight but I've kind of convinced myself that, because it's my birthday, I could hurt myself. Writing that out is crazy and I feel insane, but maybe people around me will be less disappointed with me if I do it today, of all days? I just can't stop thinking about it.
Is there even a way to hide self harm from a partner? It's ridiculous to even ask. I keep scrambling and picking apart my brain in hopes that there's some way for me to go through with these urges without hurting those around me. I've been thinking of it all day.
I'm pathetic. I really didn't want to make it to 20. I went into this year certain I'd be gone by now- I wish I was entirely alone, so I could be left to self destruct without the guilt. It's so so selfish.
I have to live, but I really dont know how to. I tell people I'm recovering, but I absolutely don't want to. I'm so fucking sick of myself and this stupid impulsive urge.
