Help trying to get on a journey to get better.

[reese in pieces]

I came home from a 2 week long vacation to find out my mom and stepdad completely looked through my room and saw vent drawings and notes from my best friend not to ctb. if there is even a small pile of laundry even as I'm well old enough to do it myself she will put it in the wash and feel like it's obligatory to search my room. she has searched all of my previous drawings, diaries everything. As if she miraculously found it trying to clean up my room. The only thing she doesn't have access to is my phone and computer, and here. I am so close yet so far from graduating and got caught again. I'm not going to dwell on how bad my mental state was so one of my New Year's resolutions is to try to even set an appointment up with a psychiatrists hoping that medication that my therapist suggested I needed would help with my supposedly adhd and depression. I'm hoping medication would turn me into a more productive and happier individual. But I stay afraid that I won't get the help I need because I can't afford to book appointments and my insurance won't cover it and my dad attempted to book appointment but got no call back a couple months ago. Is there any good cheap way I can try to get help? I've been okay for now.. but I know the moment I go back to school I'll relapse in my behavior and be self destructive again and have episodes of being to depressed and numb for a couple of weeks or being too happy. I just want a pill that'll make me focused and motivated and keep my emotions stabilized so I can finally do good in school and have a more decent life then I am living right now.

 

[Malfunction]

It sounds like you have the right idea. Perhaps medication and discovering techniques to handle your stressors will be a key to your recovery.

I can't offer anything on psychiatrists, as I've never had that option available. I did try SSRIs and antipsychotics for a decade, and it didn't work for me, even after trying several different pills. I did try a few ADHD medications and I honestly never felt so clear headed and focused. But unfortunately it caused my blood pressure to sky rocket.

When it comes to medication, everyone is different. Sometimes it takes trial and error to find what works. If you don't have access to a psychiatrist, a general practitioner or family doctor can get the ball rolling. This was how I had to do it since I couldn't afford a psychiatrist. Its not ideal, as a doctor will just hand out pills typically. You still need coping strategies to see real results.

I'm sure you'll get some better advice than mine. In case you don't, try the recovery section as well. I've not been there myself as I'm past recovering, but I'm sure there's valuable resources to look at as well as people trying for the same thing you are.

I hope you succeed. I wish you the very best.