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astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
266
Maybe it's the writer or the problem-solver in me, but does anyone else try to find a method in everything these days, even if it seems dumb or improbable? Ever since I let suicide into my suite of options for my future, it's coloring every damn thing I see.

Me: Oh, Prime Day! Let's take a look.

Brain: Oh wow, RxPass. $5 and you can get a lot of generic drugs shipped to your house for cheap. Wonder if we can find some that we can stock up and overdose on?

Me: Uh, that's pretty unlikely, but we can check later. How about some workout equipment?

Brain: Hey, if you need a quick method, Chris Benoit broke his own neck to CTB using one of those.

Me: Good point, good point... And this dashcam deal?

Brain: Buy it now, but remember to turn it off when you park your car and jump off the bridge, you don't want your family having that footage. Hey, any generators or heaters you can buy that will let you die of C02 poisoning? Sounds peaceful!

Like just let me LIVE for a second. So I just bought some skincare and a mouse jiggler ā˜ ļø Anyone else relate to seeing methods in ordinary things?
 
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