Mea Culpa
Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa, Kyrie Eleison
- Sep 22, 2023
- 173
Today I decided to try and SH through cutting again. It's been almost 6 years since I've done it. Wanted something to try and take away from the mental torment I keep putting myself through.
I think im afraid? I didn't really break skin, but the skin I drew the blade on did get inflamed, I managed to make 2 small breaks since I saw 2 small streaks of blood. Very shallow though.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, as stupid as it sounds. Not enough pressure from the blade definitely, tried stretching the skin and I think that's what helped make the shallow cuts.
Lately it just feels like all the weight ive been carrying is getting heavier and heavier. Like an anvil on my chest and I feel my ribs breaking. I feel a sort of desperation of making it stop. Or at least ease the pain. I'm hoping the cutting can help alleviate the weight a little. Wont know till I try more I suppose.
I think im afraid? I didn't really break skin, but the skin I drew the blade on did get inflamed, I managed to make 2 small breaks since I saw 2 small streaks of blood. Very shallow though.
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, as stupid as it sounds. Not enough pressure from the blade definitely, tried stretching the skin and I think that's what helped make the shallow cuts.
Lately it just feels like all the weight ive been carrying is getting heavier and heavier. Like an anvil on my chest and I feel my ribs breaking. I feel a sort of desperation of making it stop. Or at least ease the pain. I'm hoping the cutting can help alleviate the weight a little. Wont know till I try more I suppose.