Trying so hard

[goldenvirginia]

I hate feeling as low as I do. I want to feel normal, socialise more and enjoy life. The past few years, living with mental health issues, have slowly destroyed who I was. That's a difficult thing to comprehend and accept. It scares me that I don't think I'll ever be able to find peace and move past this. Suicidal thoughts are always lurking in the background. But I'm trying so hard to ignore them….

 

[Under The Graveyard]

I tend to go into the woods to escape reality. Although the suicidal thoughts are still lingering, the woods seems to relax those thoughts for a while.

 

[goldenvirginia]

I tend to go into the woods to escape reality. Although the suicidal thoughts are still lingering, the woods seems to relax those thoughts for a while.

I try and distract myself by doing something creative. Drawing, painting etc. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I feel like maybe I'm holding myself back from getting better. Holding onto resentment about having to take medications, stubbornly refusing to listen to people trying to help. I just wish someone could slap me and wake me up from this bullshit.

 

[Under The Graveyard]

I try and distract myself by doing something creative. Drawing, painting etc. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I feel like maybe I'm holding myself back from getting better. Holding onto resentment about having to take medications, stubbornly refusing to listen to people trying to help. I just wish someone could slap me and wake me up from this bullshit.

IMO, you can do anything to distract yourself from your thoughts, but they will always return one way or another.

As for holding yourself back from getting better, it's not as easy as it seems. People that tell you to suck it up and stop having negative thoughts, is like breaking their leg and telling them to walk it off. You can only go as far as your mind lets you. Depression is a dangerous game.

If slapping someone could wake you up from this bullshit, I would need an entire gang to beat the shit out of me for that to happen.

 

[goldenvirginia]

Lol…Thankyou for making me laugh @Under The Graveyard . Maybe signing up at the local boxing club would help? Getting punched repeatedly, over the course of an hour every day, may realign the fucked up, jumbled mess.

 

[Under The Graveyard]

Lol…Thankyou for making me laugh @Under The Graveyard . Maybe signing up at the local boxing club would help? Getting punched repeatedly, over the course of an hour every day, may realign the fucked up, jumbled mess.

That was merely a suggestion! Lol

 

[goldenvirginia]

That was merely a suggestion! Lol

Could be a new, untapped form of therapy though. A shit ton cheaper and a lot less annoying than having to spill your guts, while being stared at with a blank expression. Lol

 

[Under The Graveyard]

Could be a new, untapped form of therapy though. A shit ton cheaper and a lot less annoying than having to spill your guts, while being stared at with a blank expression. Lol

That's true. Maybe we could form a club specifically aimed at people getting beat up at a low price... we could be millionaires by the end of the year!

Now if we just had a motto.... lol

 

[goldenvirginia]

That's true. Maybe we could form a club specifically aimed at people getting beat up at a low price... we could be millionaires by the end of the year!

Now if we just had a motto.... lol

Suggestions for a motto people???? ….. we have some money to make. Lol

 

[Under The Graveyard]

Suggestions for a motto people???? ….. we have some money to make. Lol

Something like.... Feeling depressed? Let us knock it out of you!

 

[goldenvirginia]

Welcome to the Punch Rooms! Head all over the place? Disengaged from life? Surly Steve, Ferocious Fred or Ginger Geoff are readily available to knock some sense back in!!!

 

[Under The Graveyard]

Welcome to the Punch Rooms! Head all over the place? Disengaged from life? Surly Steve, Ferocious Fred or Ginger Geoff are readily available to knock some sense back in!!!

Perfect!!!

Now we can also give them the option of whether they want our associates to wear boxing gloves or not!

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. Life really is tiring. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are struggling as there is no escape from ourselves and our thoughts.I wish you well.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I want to feel normal, socialise more and enjoy life.

I felt this way in school. Intuitively, I knew that if I didn't hurry up and build a support community, in our ageist Western culture, I'd be discarded on the human trash-heap by my late 20's. Hope you find your community.