Venting trying one more time

[Lavínia]

I decided not to kill myself. It was kind of out of the blue; I have a deadline that's getting closer and closer. But I want to try one last time, really push myself.

I'm eating better, trying to organize my mind, maybe study or write more. I'm trying to exercise, take care of my appearance, my hair. I'm embarrassed, and saying this makes me want to cry. I gave up a lot. So much. I'm reading the section on the site about dealing with sh, and just the part about watching a candle burn made me think. I think I'll do it. I'm making the list of priorities below, but I'll make a better, more complete one too.

- no alcohol
- no cigarettes
- no sweets, I never liked them
- study math and chemistry.

 

[Vivissa]

Studying math is one of the best ways to live the life.

 

[tooBadTooLate]

Wishing you the best in trying to pick up the pieces together.

I'm embarrassed, and saying this makes me want to cry. I gave up a lot. So much. I'm reading the section on the site about dealing with sh, and just the part about watching a candle burn made me think. I think I'll do it.

It's understandable to be embarrassed, having to face what you've did, but, honestly, I'm quite happy for you for realizing that and picking to take care of yourself instead. It is the Recovery forum, after all.

By the way, studying math and chemistry sounds really admirable. I've always struggled in math and pretty much never been taught about chemistry other than some half-baked Science classes in my high-school days. I'm not sure the practical uses for chemistry, though I'm assuming that there are various, I'm aware that programming and accounting could be very good fields to get into once you're done with math. Take care, stay safe.