Trying but losing energy.

[whatevertryinmeans23]

Haven't been here in a long time. My life is ok rn but difficult due to trauma and such.

Emotional flashbacks triggered depressive episode. Coming out of it butttttt been kinda... thinking about suicide again.

Haaa holding out hope and keeping a mindset of living while mentally being like fucking destroyed constantly is hard...

I would like to focus on life and the better things but I'm struggling.

I'm really.... wanting to end my life but also trying not to.

What do u y'all do when the urge to death is strong but u actually kinda wanna live?

How do I make that shift within myself.
 
Any suggestions or personal accounts of similar experiences?

 

[CandyK__]

Whenever i feel like that i try to rest. I stop anything that tires me, for me best way for that is a glass of wine, and weird content on the internet. I'd recommend for you to find what you find the most enjoyable and do it for a while.

Do something that will make you forget, and if that doesn't seem to help try talking to someone about what you're going through. If you don't have anyone to talk to, you could talk to me. Try limiting situations where you might be tempted to do something impulsive. When world looks like shit, try looking inside you, to find what you want, and lack of what makes you feel that way. Look at everything and say "fuck it", rest for a while, in sometime you will feel ok, and this is when you comeback to your life.

 

[whatevertryinmeans23]

Whenever i feel like that i try to rest. I stop anything that tires me, for me best way for that is a glass of wine, and weird content on the internet. I'd recommend for you to find what you find the most enjoyable and do it for a while.

Do something that will make you forget, and if that doesn't seem to help try talking to someone about what you're going through. If you don't have anyone to talk to, you could talk to me. Try limiting situations where you might be tempted to do something impulsive. When world looks like shit, try looking inside you, to find what you want, and lack of what makes you feel that way. Look at everything and say "fuck it", rest for a while, in sometime you will feel ok, and this is when you comeback to your life.

Thnxxx for these suggestions
I probs should rest.... but im tryna/wanting to do some chores. No motivation though. Maybe I'm kinda tired of resting. Like its very much just watching videos to distract myself and im getting kinda sick of it but ill think of resting today.

I have friends I could talk to but it's feeling pointless as well. Like what do I even have to talk about ir share kinda feels. Everything just feels bad and pointless tbh.


But I shall consider the things you've said.

 

[Live or Let Die]

usually I just sleep, wince most times when I feel that way it's at night. Other than that I'd recommend doing things you love or picking up a new hobby to keep things interesting. For me that's guitar, been playing for 14 years now and can't see myself a live without that ability yk? Since you aren't 100% certain about CTB I'd do anything but that; these second thoughts are like 2nd chances to continue on and read the next chapter of a book. as for chores, put on some music, iIwash dishes listening to metal.