Venting Tried to CTB Again, Failed

[Petrichor45]

So I'm a complete idiot and once again achieved absolutely nothing. I'm so tired of everything. I was planning to full suspension hang myself soon, but I got impatient. I bought a stepladder earlier, tied a noose with an extension cord, and tried to CTB via partial suspension again, but it turns out I'm shit at tying knots. All I achieved was a sore neck and a headache. Didn't want to write a goodbye thread again in case I failed, which I just did again. I wish finishing the job painlessly was easier. I hate everything. Also I don't know how to fold up the stepladder so now I just have it in my wardrobe, so now I just have a random stepladder in there. I wish I knew what I was doing. I just want to get my life over and done with already. I don't even know how to feel right now, I just feel kind of frustrated but also kinda numb at the same time. I'm tired of everything. I've gotten to the point that even if my circumstances improve, I think I'll still want to CTB anyway. I want death already

 

[AShipinthedark]

From what I've read around the forums, all forms of hanging and strangulation are hard. I have to practice my own knots if I decide to CTB via this method. Just take a breath, recoup what you have, and wait for your moment patiently. Also, I get that sentiment at the end, even if things got better I'm not sure I would still be able to go on. I...do not see things getting better for anyone though... ya know...because the sun is a deadly laser...

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so horrible how it's this difficult to permanently escape from all the suffering, it's inhumane how people have to resort to barbaric suicide methods and cannot just leave in peace, I understand why you'd feel so frustrated. But anyway I hope you eventually find the freedom you wish for.

 

[soontobedone]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have been unable to overcome my SI as well.

 

[Fabled Oblivion]

When life is shut we all want out that why we are here life if cruel and difficult and no one knows why, you mentioned the step ladder alot you seemed focused on one thing I guess we all need something that gets us though it take a few days on needed but think of everything and why you want out if you are gonna ctb be sure it is what you want