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x0nSS

Member
Aug 11, 2023
37
Have something inside of me making me want to say this. Both my parents raped me as a child. I am under great pain today with this trauma replaying in my head. My parents did worse things not just the sexual abuse. My father, we will call Manuel, was what I think gay. I say this because he seemed to enjoy raping me as a little boy. I have memories of being sold to other gay men. I never had a choice. The word choice is disgusting because what is a child to do when they drug you and cause you physical and mental harm. I apologize for those who read this. I am disgusted with myself.

I am not writing this for people to respond. Have something in my body that makes me think writing this and putting it online will make me feel better. My way of thinking telling the world of their bad actions will heal me somehow. The pain is more than I can take. The world is full of lies and people are too poor to fight the system of control that exists. Like that book 1984, there must be a lot of drugs in the air.

With that off my chest, personal thanks to Vizzy. Have read his guide and I am waiting on parts.

PS thanking this site for making me lie to myself that posting online is like shouting to the world. What I want to say is thanks for the ability to do this. I am terrible at writing.
 
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Reactions: AloneInCollege, AngelAyanam1, Sannti and 5 others
H

HighOctane

EarthRover
Aug 14, 2023
24
Sorry to hear what you've been through friend. I've been in a similar situation and I can't not think about it. Hope you can make peace with your mind and here if you need someone to chat with
 
アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,191
It is disgusting how raping children happens in this world and I'm sorry you were the victim to that. Even your own father, the one who is supposed to care about you raped you which shows how cruel people can be, especially to their own children. I hope you'll find relief from that trauma someday. I, myself, can't imagine being traumatized and abused in such a way as a literal child. I wish you the best and I'm sorry all that happened to you.
 
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Reactions: HighOctane
T

Tulip<3

Student
Aug 16, 2023
111
I don't know what I can say really, but I'm glad you have been able to tell someone even if it's on here. That takes courage.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's the worst thing anyone can do to a child 😞 you aren't a bad or shameful person for what happened to you as an innocent child. I know me telling you that won't change how you feel but it's true. The people who did this to you and the disgusting ones.

I hope you can get some relief from your pain.
 
N

NoHorizon

A pig in a cage on antibiotics
Nov 22, 2022
413
That sounds like such an awful experience, I'm so sorry you've had to suffer at the hands of people who should have loved and cared for you.

Trauma is a horrible thing and so hard to come back from, I wish the thoughts and feelings could be taken away from the person suffering and returned to the people who inflict such cruelty - that would be a fitting punishment.

I hope writing it out gave you some comfort at least. Take care.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,102
It's so horrible how some humans just create so much harm in this world, it certainly is disgusting how people have to suffer in such a way, but anyway I wish you the best with your plans.
 
future.

future.

in crisis ● male ● 26
Mar 19, 2023
63
yo who the fuck sells their own fucking children ...yo thats sick men
 

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