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A clown 🤡
Jan 2, 2023
200
Here just enduring another miserable week and escaping from my reality through fantasy. 🤙
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,429
Enduring more jealousy and dysphoria and hopelessness.

I hate facial and neck hair. Being a guy blows (for me).
 
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nomotels1443

nomotels1443

me and the birds
Dec 19, 2022
27
doing horrible, my family is visiting (includes extended family) and it's almost like everyone is just finding ways to misgender me. Every opportunity that opens up. I clearly DON'T fucking like it, I look and sound like a man. I have never shown any femininity or interest in it yet everyone acts like I do. I'm tired of this bullshit and realize even as I'm dead they'll continue to do this. But at least when I'm dead I won't have to be unhappy about it.
 
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Reactions: Rogue Proxy, WaitingToGo, milly and 1 other person
Fwompje

Fwompje

life is cruel and time heals nothing
Feb 23, 2023
190
society is pretty harsh on trans people so it makes sense
i hope the next generations have it easier than us but trans acceptance is getting worse not better...
I've noticed that as well... All because of the damn internet and guys who think having an edgy opinion makes them cool. Like we're going back in time. If only we'd just be left alone.
 
JuliaOnTheNet

JuliaOnTheNet

pew pew pew
Feb 14, 2023
101
I'm sick of fucking everything, everyone sugarcoating, my parents not even me by my pronouns after two years and not even making any effort anymore, sick of the way I look, the way I get treated by people.
I can't wait to leave this world with all it's bullshit really soon :)
 
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WaitingToGo

WaitingToGo

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
233
My mom would occasionally use the wrong pronouns but not out of spite or anything. She was in her 90's so I couldn't get annoyed with her. She supported me every step of the way during my transition And even travelled 200 miles to visit me in hospital after my GRS. Sadly she passed away last year
 
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Reactions: SuicideAwaits, Sakura94, NoLightRemains and 3 others
Obetydlig

Obetydlig

Member
Feb 22, 2023
18
society truly doesnt give a fuck about minorities like us. Most people feel nothing but disgust for us, would prefer if people like me didnt exist. most media propagandizing against us, politicians trying to remove my medical care, for seemingly nothing more than out of pure spite for me. There are a few people who are open minded and willing to be open minded about me despite it all which is nice, but its far from the norm and its seriously draining to know that so many people hate me despite never having met me. On top of that I have to deal with looking like a man. To me, my existence as trans is proof that there could be no god, its just so much misery for no good reason. Its already so difficult in society but I also feel so deeply uncomfortable with my own existence as male which makes it feel truly hopeless, to the point where sometimes I feel like my suicide will be an act of self love.
 
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BroodingBleu

BroodingBleu

MtF
Feb 16, 2023
92
Hi, I just thought I would revive this thread and just vent a little.

I'm having a difficult time coping with the fact that I will never pass. I will never be able to stealth, and subsequently, I will never be able to assimilate in a cisnormative society. My only real hope is trans liberation through trans normalization. This is why it pains me when I see trans women who pass better than me and have the capacity to stealth support trans assimilation. I do not hate these people and I would be doing the same if I passed as well as them, but it hurts being reminded of what I will never have, while at the same time, their actions contradict my needs.

I don't think I find it particularly difficult to love myself. I appreciate many positive qualities in myself. But I'm paranoid that cis people or other trans women who pass better than me will look down on me, and that they will look past my positive qualities. I don't think radical self-love is an option for me. I have a primal need to recieve at least some appreciation and validation. I don't think I could love myself knowing that nobody else appreciates me.
I deal with the same mindset. I am pretty self-aware in the tact thst I don't think I'll ever pass, and frankly thst kind of crushes me. I truly think that's the biggest hurdle I personally have in life, and if I could ever just live a normal life in the body I wanted to be perceived in, I think I would never have the thoughts that I do, at least not for the same reasons I do now.

The thing that kills me and what led me to deleting all of my social media was the fact that every time we take a step forward in progress for trans people, there are two very noticeable LEAPS backwards.
 
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P

protecttransyouth

Member
Mar 28, 2023
13
Shitty. Failed attept because of survival instinct. Relapsed on alcohol which was shit. At least too many things are going wrong in my life to notice the dysphoria?
 
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thereisnomeaning

thereisnomeaning

To live here is my nightmare
Mar 15, 2023
54
Hi people
I'm ftm and I have a lot of body dysphoria, specially with my chest, so I'm hardly ever without a binder (only when I shower), but I've been having some severe asthma attacks lately, been to the E.R almost everyday last week and it's a struggle to breath while wearing a binder, but I'm so disgusted by how I look without it.
I just wish I could afford surgery, or anything, even gym to help me build up my body, but I can't afford anything right now cause the little money I get goes to house expenses and drugs (cause I'm not only trans and suicidal, I'm also a fucking addict)
 
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Reactions: Toy, evanescent, Covalite and 1 other person
Toy

Toy

Let me out.
Mar 12, 2023
93
Hi guys,
I am so insanely tired and mentally bashing my head off a wall. I'm so sick of not being respected. I hate that I feel safer trapping myself in my own bedroom than stepping one foot out since anywhere outside of the peace of my own bedroom doesn't care about me or who I am. I'm repeatedly called what i'm not by even people who were introduced to me as a boy. I can't even start testosterone yet because of my antipsychotics not being stabilized and it feels like nobody will accept me unless i'm on testosterone already since i'm "girly". Binders are too expensive. My voice is too high. Honestly, my dysphoria is the thing that is closest to making me go into the hospital or just caving and going through with CTB. The only thing that's been stopping me is my significant other's support. I hate society.
 
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thereisnomeaning

thereisnomeaning

To live here is my nightmare
Mar 15, 2023
54
Hey man that sounds really rough. It's so grim how one is reminded of how these life saving surgeries are withheld from those desperately in need simply because they cannot affort them. It's inhumane. How are your future prospects if I may ask? Are there ways which you could save up for your surgery? Do you feel like you could treat your addiction?
We do have a public health system here, but just to be on the line for surgery I need to have 2 years on testosterone and 2 years of psychiatric counseling, all documented, and I don't have it yet. Also once I get in the line it'll take a few years to be called, so I'll probably be catching the bus way before I can do it
And for my addiction, I think I could treat it someday, but not for now, I can't even think of how I'd do it. So I'll just keep up the HRT I got through the public system and it'll probably be it, maybe I get into gym when/if I get a job


Hi guys,
I am so insanely tired and mentally bashing my head off a wall. I'm so sick of not being respected. I hate that I feel safer trapping myself in my own bedroom than stepping one foot out since anywhere outside of the peace of my own bedroom doesn't care about me or who I am. I'm repeatedly called what i'm not by even people who were introduced to me as a boy. I can't even start testosterone yet because of my antipsychotics not being stabilized and it feels like nobody will accept me unless i'm on testosterone already since i'm "girly". Binders are too expensive. My voice is too high. Honestly, my dysphoria is the thing that is closest to making me go into the hospital or just caving and going through with CTB. The only thing that's been stopping me is my significant other's support. I hate society.
Hi, I know how tiring it is to be misgendered and deadnamed, my whole family does it to me even though I'm on hrt for nearly 2 years, legally changed my name, and pass for most of the time. Just know that it's not how others accept you that counts, I know people who are 100% passing, have all the surgeries, hrt for years and are still purposely misgendered by some fuckers who won't respect them. People like this will always exist, and I've learned that sometimes I just need to know when to tell these people to fuck off. Most of them won't change, and it sucks, so you do you.
Hope you're able to get binders and hrt, but if/while you're not, you're still as valid and it's not your fault that people don't respect that
 
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