Rocinante
My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
- Aug 26, 2022
- 1,469
To start off, it is my first that's been intimate. Close, whatever. It wasn't something I wanted at the beginning, but the more they shared shit with me and got to know my interests or share things they would do throughout the day, the closer I got to them. Which is where I am at now. It has only been something like 3 months but every minute of every day has been spent together. Talking or whatever else.
Here I am now, stuck in a relationship I want to end, but at the same time I feel I would be depressed without them. I said from the beginning I would ghost after they provided me with what I wanted but now I have almost grown attached. They claim the same and that I make them feel good, and others have noticed they are happy with their life now. Something along those lines, I guess. Feels like a guilt trip tbf
My problem with them is they cause me constant stress with the things they will do or say, to the point I will ignore them for a bit. Only for the cycle to continue. Every night I tell myself I am done with them, but by morning I devote all my time to them again. It is not like I cannot get someone else, it is just that it is a whole process to do it again when I have someone. They are almost like an energy vampire and I am fighting a constant conflict of wanting to stay vs leaving. The option is too hard to consider alone.
All things considered it's probably best I delete all socials and return to the way my life was.
Here I am now, stuck in a relationship I want to end, but at the same time I feel I would be depressed without them. I said from the beginning I would ghost after they provided me with what I wanted but now I have almost grown attached. They claim the same and that I make them feel good, and others have noticed they are happy with their life now. Something along those lines, I guess. Feels like a guilt trip tbf
My problem with them is they cause me constant stress with the things they will do or say, to the point I will ignore them for a bit. Only for the cycle to continue. Every night I tell myself I am done with them, but by morning I devote all my time to them again. It is not like I cannot get someone else, it is just that it is a whole process to do it again when I have someone. They are almost like an energy vampire and I am fighting a constant conflict of wanting to stay vs leaving. The option is too hard to consider alone.
All things considered it's probably best I delete all socials and return to the way my life was.
