Too sick to live, Too healthy to die...

[A_Breath_Away]

I am NOT living. I'm surviving, and that's all I'll be able to do. Best case scenario I live a half-life. Where I'll have nothing and be nothing. And yet, I still don't wanna die.

I have barely any motor-control. I have to be constant doses of anxiolitic drugs just to function. It's not a life worth living.
And STILL I don't wanna die. It's assinine. I wish someone would just shoot me. Take it out of my hands so I don't have to be so scared. SI is a bitch.

I'm miserable, lethargic. All I can do is sleep so I can pretend I'm dead. I want it so bad but I also don't. Not sure how to explain it. I don't wanna be dead, just at peace. If that makes sense.

 

[weirdworld]

yeah, I just want relief, I wish I liked living.. but it's all so hard