Too anxious to work, too ugly for women

[oktnn50md]

There is also a difference between ugly and normal. Even men do not respect and tolerate an ugly man with a feminized face. Women choose normal man ones if they see that he is accepted in company, has friends. The ugly person is rejected not only by women but by society in general.

Some feminine men are popular with women actually. But there are some facial traits that look bad for any gender (e.g. having your right eye above the left one).

 

[Silvermorning]

Relationships are nothing but misery, in exchange for a hot bed and fuck work and being a wageslave.

Society sucks. Embrace the void.

 

[Disappointered]

Are you also short? If you're reasonably tall their are always women who are keen.

 

[Kramer]

as a misanthrope i think it's better not to be in a relationship, humans are nothing but a disappointment

I find that I crave a relationship or a friendship but always find that I hate being around people. Weird

Are you also short? If you're reasonably tall their are always women who are keen.

Being tall with broad shoulders and muscles I can attain from just eating healthy is all demolished when the woman discovers my broken mind.

 

[262653]

Ever get that hooker?

Somehow I don't like the idea of getting hookers. That I'm buying consent to fuck someone, with money. It's like paying a therapist to care and listen about my problems. I just don't buy it, and think they're pretending for money. Might as well masturbate and listen to my own problems, for at least I care about myself.

Might be worth thinking about if someone is only with you for looks and money then to me in my opinion this seems pretty shallow and ultimately boring too.

I think that people are only with someone for something. It can also be something more innate, like looks and smarts, and something about the consistent behavioral patterns (personality traits). The currency varies but the trade is the same.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yeah, i'm pretty good looking

Bet that chin touches the floor when he chews

 

[GravityUtilizer]

What's interesting to me is how almost everyone's focused on the appearance and not the work side of things. I think if I had purposeful work I was confident at I wouldn't be so in want of a gf but then again if I could even manage a shit job I'd be more inclined to want as much out of life as I could, like getting a gf.

But when you're down in life neither decent work nor attracting women seems possible, and so all that seems possible is a shit job (at best, if you can keep the anxiety down for long enough) that you know will leave you wanting more, so you end up doing nothing, and seeing no future.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

same ngl

Like you said the work side of things are actually more important here. I can live without dating but not without money or a future. It's pretty difficult to start thinking about functioning socially when your life is falling apart in a practical sense.

 

[MrBlue]

What's interesting to me is how almost everyone's focused on the appearance and not the work side of things. I think if I had purposeful work I was confident at I wouldn't be so in want of a gf but then again if I could even manage a shit job I'd be more inclined to want as much out of life as I could, like getting a gf.

But when you're down in life neither decent work nor attracting women seems possible, and so all that seems possible is a shit job (at best, if you can keep the anxiety down for long enough) that you know will leave you wanting more, so you end up doing nothing, and seeing no future.

Getting into a relationship would definitely be something I want, but getting (and keeping) a job is something I actually NEED to function in society. Like you said I think being comfortable in a job would definitely take some of the edge off of not having other things, because it's a decent distraction.

Though tbh because I've never had a gf, I think the desire to have one, even if its just curiousity over what it's like, will always be a problem for me personally.

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't know if it is different for men, but getting a job or even a career does fuck all for a woman after a certain age.

 

[greebo6]

I am maybe the former (unemployable) but I am certainly the latter (too ugly for women).Sadly.
I understand how you feel .Its hard. Yes ,some days are worse than others.

 

[stygal]

I'm a woman, have never been in any relationship, but never really get bothered by it. I wonder if this kind of thing affects men more than it does women?

Yes...and men mostly seem butthurt by rejection. I'm a woman and I dated ... and surprise: I got rejected and ghosted a few times...did not kill me.

 

[Arnar]

I can't get a woman too. My life is perpetual torture because I know well that I will never get anybody. I know that nothing will change.
Survival Instinct is the only reason I'm still there.

Hope I'm not annoying you but that maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost all people eventually find someone. "I know that I will never get anybody" come on. That's a strange thing to be so certain about

 

[greebo6]

Hope I'm not annoying you but that maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost all people eventually find someone. "I know that I will never get anybody" come on. That's a strange thing to be so certain about

No ,its true. Some of us don't. Sometimes it is because of how ugly we look.
Just saying.
And no ,of course I'm not annoyed by what you said. )

 

[stygal]

No ,its true. Some of us don't. Sometimes it is because of how ugly we look.
Just saying.
And no ,of course I'm not annoyed by what you said. )

Idk...how high are their standards considering "looks" tho? Would you/they date someone they consider "ugly" or are not focused on looks in general? Maybe it's were the problem lies.
Seen lots of relationships happen between two people who I both wouldn't consider "pretty".

 

[woxihuanni]

All this talk about finding someone eventually is bs. Since my husband has been set on killing me, an interesting thing happened. I have never flirted with anyone, because I am not a whore like the Abomination riding other dick, but some guys I talked to normally as a friend came clean about their feelings and actually proposed. So can I find someone, not eventually but right fucking now? Of course. Do I want any of them? Impossible. People need to stop pretending a husband is something you can just 'find' as if it was an item in the marketplace.

And it is not that these guys are ugly or poor as per this thread, just not fit for me. Looks and success are only some of the conditions, not all.

 

[greebo6]

Idk...how high are their standards considering "looks" tho? Would you/they date someone they consider "ugly" or are not focused on looks in general? Maybe it's were the problem lies.
Seen lots of relationships happen between two people who I both wouldn't consider "pretty".

Its just the way the world works and humans are programmed. Sad but true. I personally never criticise or judge other people on their looks because I am myself ugly. It wouldn't be right.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've heard men say they were ugly when they are actually cute or appealing. They sort of use it as an excuse.

 

[StringPuppet]

This should be the title of my autobiography

 

[GravityUtilizer]

With the right attitude you can have some impact on your looks and your money (a lot of this is about luck, but you can do stuff).
Might be worth thinking about if someone is only with you for looks and money then to me in my opinion this seems pretty shallow and ultimately boring too.

Well I've definitely been more focused on the looks side. I'm a skinny nerd type (basically with a somewhat feminine face) but with broad shoulders; I used to be skinny fat but I took up running/better eating and so these days I'm like 10st, 5'9 - skinny but in shape, basically. I got new slim-fit jeans and all that malarkey.

But yeah it's not much good cos I don't work and can't afford the pub so no one's seeing my wins lol.

Money is harder for me. Losing weight is easy for me cos it only depends on me and I get obsessed (I do have OCD).

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't work

Is it not possible? You sound healthy and able to do what you set your mind to. The anxiety prevents that?

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Is it not possible? You sound healthy and able to do what you set your mind to. The anxiety prevents that?

I've only ever bartended. And I'm an alcoholic. So it's hard to know where to go from here. I am very anxious about work but also philosophically unaligned with the 9-5 40+ hour week norm.

 

[Meditation guide]

unaligned with the 9-5 40+ hour week norm.

Who isn't? But personally I'm even more unaligned with not having a roof over my head or food to eat. There are jobs that don't require that kind of schedule. You just sound like you have some things going for you. I don't know the whole story of course so forgive me if I'm overstepping.

 

[Garbage Person]

At least you're not sitting here pointing your finger at women and throwing shade and blame all around. That already makes you a cut above a fair amount of dudes that aren't getting laid. That inner ugliness is far uglier than any physical issue.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

OK so I'm like talking to a 21 year old who I used to work with, who loves the Beatles. She's gonna break my heart I know it and I want her to I want her to break my heart and then I can drink my suicide salt as a last shot after getting drunk one final time???

I don't know guys. I'm just a hopeless romantic.

Gotta message her back...

Christ I forget how amazing it was to work with 21 year old women. Yeah she blew me off. Yeah I'm probably sexist but goddamn. It was a fine time.

Anyone else getting slayed by women and don't care?

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I've heard men say they were ugly when they are actually cute or appealing. They sort of use it as an excuse.

It might not be an excuse - they could have body dysmorphic disorder, low confidence, low self-esteem, et cetera. It is like saying that someone who has depression is an attention seeker; you cannot always know why a person thinks or acts a certain way.

 

[NeverEndingWinter]

Yeah, you are me

 

[LastFlowers]

I disagree but I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings. I'm sorry we all find ourselves here and are struggling. Just maybe try to not be so hard on yourselves.

It's not about anyone being too hard on themselves. Nature and society took care of that role for them. Those here are simply calling a spade a spade and do not do so lightly. The world is obsessed with looks, perhaps even more so than sex and money, even outside the subject of a relationship. Some people can't even get common human decency because of the way they look. Not to mention individuals should also have equal opportunity to be comfortable in their own skin. Unfortunately they don't and they suffer greatly for it. The fault does not lie with them in any way, shape, or form. They are the ones without. There's really no argument to be had.

 

[Ghost2211]

All this talk about finding someone eventually is bs. Since my husband has been set on killing me, an interesting thing happened. I have never flirted with anyone, because I am not a whore like the Abomination riding other dick, but some guys I talked to normally as a friend came clean about their feelings and actually proposed. So can I find someone, not eventually but right fucking now? Of course. Do I want any of them? Impossible. People need to stop pretending a husband is something you can just 'find' as if it was an item in the marketplace.

And it is not that these guys are ugly or poor as per this thread, just not fit for me. Looks and success are only some of the conditions, not all.

Honestly, you're being oppressed by a monster. That doesn't mean you're not lovable, and it doesn't mean love won't find you. It wouldn't make you a whore to seek affection from someone that treats you with the love and respect you deserve just because you're trapped with a murderous pos. Maybe finding someone new could help you?

 

[LenkaX]

Hope I'm not annoying you but that maybe a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost all people eventually find someone. "I know that I will never get anybody" come on. That's a strange thing to be so certain about

If I wasn't so ugly and socially inept, I would had found somebody and I would have never entered a site such as SS. But I simply know that I will never have anybody, it's clear af. Therefore I'm seeking refuge on this site and just waiting for the right day to rope myself.