tonight’s the night, for real this time.

[Lady Laudanum]

I know it's not my place to tell you what you should do but I was actually rooting for you and hoping that you would push through instead of deciding to CTB. It's your decision and I respect it. However, we had similar upbringings and similar struggles although I'm a few years older. And I know this is selfish of me but I was hoping that I could see someone with very similar issues actually survive, just as proof that it's possible.

 

[rozeske]

update : i have an extremely bad headache right now. is there anything i can do to calm it down?

For headaches paracetamol or panadol works best for me than ibuprofen. It could also be the stress of the situation and the decision you have to make. Don't rush it, take your time to think through things and be easy on yourself.

 

[bambibambam]

For headaches paracetamol or panadol works best for me than ibuprofen. It could also be the stress of the situation and the decision you have to make. Don't rush it, take your time to think through things and be easy on yourself.

unfortunately i don't have neither of those. benzos would've done wonders for me right now but even i couldn't acquire those yet. i'm not sure if this will affect my SN experience but i'm still gonna push through

 

[Wackstar]

In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels in whichever path you decide to take buddy.

 

[spirittheyregone]

I hope you find the peace youre looking for, and if you change your mind, I hope you can find peace in life too. Either eay I really do hope youll be happy.

 

[karel1987]

You are a brave men. I also will go on the sn road.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How r u doing? Good luck with whatever you do. I hope you find peace!

 

[ItsyBitsyWeetard]

Good luck ❤

 

[bambibambam]

How r u doing? Good luck with whatever you do. I hope you find peace!

i'm okay, i'm going out to buy a sedative and some nyquil. i can't stay calm for the life of me because i struggle with anxiety.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do. Good luck

 

[Last dance]

Its totally understandable you have anxiety. I bought some today and will be taking it exactly the same time i receive it. Nevertheless dont forget it will only take you 12 mins to be unconcious

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I hope your last moments are tolerable. I'm sorry it has led to this.
I respect your decision, but keep in mind that there's no shame in backing out should you change your mind.
Warm regards.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

Your dad will be heartbroken. He loves you. We just show our love differently.

Don't end your life just because you had a stupid argument. Not everyone has a good day, everyday.

Let the heat of the moment pass, young soul.

I understand that you are feeling hurt. What about your mom? She will be devastated too.
Stay with us. Sleep it off.
Your father should have been more gentle with you.

Just sleep it off. Maybe tomorrow he will apologize you.

 

[bambibambam]

Your dad will be heartbroken. He loves you. We just show our love differently.

Don't end your life just because you had a stupid argument. Not everyone has a good day, everyday.

Let the heat of the moment pass, young soul.

I understand that you are feeling hurt. What about your mom? She will be devastated too.
Stay with us. Sleep it off.
Your father should have been more gentle with you.

Just sleep it off. Maybe tomorrow he will apologize you.

thank you, i might consider this becahse i took some sedatives to calm down my panic attack along with nyquil and i feel like i messed up by doing this. if anyone is smart enough to reassure that this won't mess up my regime it would be greatly appreciate, im still gonna try but if i fail somehow i'll update you all. <3

 

[GuessWhosBack]

i might consider this

Then I would say you're not ready. Please reconsider. You will still have the chance to CTB later in life. No shame in living to see another day.

 

[bambibambam]

update : taking the painkillers in 8 ish minutes. i'm a little scared since i recently took a sedative and some nyquil earlier but i have no food in my system so i hope it's not too bad
10:03pm : i took the painkillers, 13 minutes until meto
10:19pm : sorry i'm pretty slow at updating just a little nervous but the meto is taken, i'm gonna take the antacid in about 10 minutes. i was told antacid isn't necessary but i bought it so…i feel obligated to use it

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

update : taking the painkillers in 8 ish minutes. i'm a little scared since i recently took a sedative and some nyquil earlier but i have no food in my system so i hope it's not too bad
10:03pm : i took the painkillers, 13 minutes until meto

Hopefully you don't pass out? It's going to be all right.

 

[bambibambam]

Hopefully you don't pass out? It's going to be all right.

i'm more so scared of how the medication i took before will react to the SN, i'm a pretty small girl so i'm taking 21g. as of right now i'm okay, i'm about to take 30mg meto.

 

[busrider]

i'm more so scared of how the medication i took before will react to the SN, i'm a pretty small girl so i'm taking 21g. as of right now i'm okay, i'm about to take 30mg meto.

I think everything will be fine. send you my support through the internet and some virtual hugs (if you don't mind) you're a brave warrior. everything is gonna be okay and you'll get on the bus with peace

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

i'm more so scared of how the medication i took before will react to the SN, i'm a pretty small girl so i'm taking 21g. as of right now i'm okay, i'm about to take 30mg meto.

I had questions about alcohol and SN. no one could run really answer. I have no benzodiazapines. I don't know what else to try. It's so horrible we can't just have a safe reliable way without all this. I'm really sorry. I think you will be okay. in the end. I think it's going to be alright.

 

[nihilism__]

hi guys, it's been a while. tonight is the night i finally do it, if anyone is familiar with me you'd know that i had an SN attempt 3 months ago which didn't work. a member of this forum went through my social media and decided to alert a friend of mine which is the reason why i couldn't ctb successfully.

because of my failed attempt in may, i didn't want to come back on here because i felt ashamed for failing. but for sure i'm certain everything's gonna work out my family is on a trip and i'll be alone for a while so i plan on taking the SN tonight :)

if anyone's curious my regime is the same as before except i'm doing a stat dose this time. i haven't ate since 6am. i got into a heated argument with my dad just now and we both told each other to go "fuck ourselves" so i'm doing exactly that haha. i think my breaking point was realizing that i'd never have a healthy relationship with my dad no matter how badly i wanted it and i guess today proved that'll never happen.

anyways, here's my regime :
an hour before i drink the SN

10pm ;; 600mg ibuprofen, 500mg acetaminophen

10:15pm ;; 3 x 10mg meto (30g in total)

10:30pm ;; double dose of antacid

10:35pm ;; prepare sn drinks..need 2 in case i vomit blegh

11:00pm ;; drink sn , lay in bed & die :pp

if there's anything i should change about my regime please let me know, i'll be sending out final messages and such. i'll also try to stay and be interactive as much as i can before i eventually go unconscious. thank you all :,)

I'm taking SN too tonight, just a different approach. Stay strong

 

[Achroma]

ugh this hurts to read >~< i hope whatever outcome you achieve you can be happy with qwq
sending lots of love, good luck <3

 

[bambibambam]

i took the antacid. gonna lay down and listen to some tunes while i make the SN drink.

 

[bambibambam]

Lifestyle changes will likely be easier after chemical intervention as well. You must ignore these peer pressuring idiots and go out and get out of this multi year long slump as hard as that may be currently, the reward will 100% be worth it. There is a pharmaceutical solution and there are many places and people that will make you happy, after chemical intervention.

i'm sorry i don't want to make it seem like i'm ignoring your messages, i appreciate them very much.. while waiting for the SN to dissolve i drank a little bit just to see what it was like and it was so salty i gagged and wanted to throw up right there. i don't have anything to mask the taste so i'm scared to drink the entire thing. my heart is already beating really fast i should just drink it in one go i think but i'm a little scared

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

Lifestyle changes will likely be easier after chemical intervention as well. You must ignore these peer pressuring idiots and go out and get out of this multi year long slump as hard as that may be currently, the reward will 100% be worth it. There is a pharmaceutical solution and there are many places and people that will make you happy, after chemical intervention.

You need to watch what you say. Chemical intervention is what brought a lot of people to their suicide from ssris and other psych drugs. You have no business dispensing that kind of advice to anyone about what they should put in their bodies.

 

[bambibambam]

mmy hands are really shaky and my heart is pulsing fast,i didn't even drink all of it i should've waited no nonoononoj;(

 

[Kurai]

My heart races for you. Whatever path you choose, I hope you find peace

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

mmy hands are really shaky and my heart is pulsing fast,i didn't even drink all of it i should've waited no nonoononoj;(

what do you mean should have waited?? this is not good. if you don't want to do this you shouldn't. can you call services? as in emergency services?

 

[bambibambam]

what do you mean should have waited?? this is not good. if you don't want to do this you shouldn't. can you call services? as in emergency services?

imade the stupid mistake of drinking some of it while it was dissolving instead of waiting until 11pm: imm sorry im sorry km sorry

 

[Achroma]

mmy hands are really shaky and my heart is pulsing fast,i didn't even drink all of it i should've waited no nonoononoj;(

please be 110% sure you want to do this, there is no coming back from where youre going!
if you change your mind thats completely fine, youre young and youve got plenty of time to change your mind as much as you need.
please reconsider if youre not sure! <3