tonight might be the night

[chudeatte]

im rambling im sorry im just so stressed right now I have no idea whats going on. everyone wants me dead anyway everyone knows something about me that they wont tell me thats why they look at me the way they do and treat me the way they do. theyre not good at hiding it I can tell. theyre all laughing at me and they think im so stupid and I hate it I dont want to be judged all the time. everyone wants me to kill myself thats why they treat me as a human that needs to go along with these things like education job family, they all know how miserable it makes me and therefore they continue to expect these things from me in hopes that I can't take it and I kill myself. my gp gives me meds that dont work so I get miserable enough to kill myself. why is everyone against me. I can't even think straight tonight my mind is racing and no thoughts are good I think this is the best time to end it all while im stressed as fuck and too overwhelmed to think straight. I have been extremely depressed these last few weeks with no way out and for once I finally feel like I know my purpose I feel real and unreal at the same time disconnected from humanity and the world. its truly over and tonight these profound thoughts have come to me for a reason this is my sign to finally do it, its all been building up to this. I probably wont end up doing it but I swear I'll try and if I fail im going to throw away everything I own so I can shed everything people tie me to. I think my miserable life would be spent better staring at the wall all day than whatever im doing now anyway. jeez. I dont even know what im saying. I love u all and I hope you have a peaceful week, im just done at this point

 

[LastNite]

Like you said you're overwhelmed. I really dont think it's in your best interest to do it today. Things can go badly when you're stressed out especially suicide. I made the worst stupid attempt of my life when I was done and stressed out. Your brain is flooding with negatives thoughts all which make you feel that you really need to do it now or else it'll never end. Acting on those thoughts might only harm you now and keep you long term. I hope you think it through and relax for the day. Take a warm shower. Sleep. Do something to help ease you up for the day. When youre in a clear state of mind then you could make whatever decisions your heart desires.

 

[chudeatte]

Like you said you're overwhelmed. I really dont think it's in your best interest to do it today. Things can go badly when you're stressed out especially suicide. I made the worst stupid attempt of my life when I was done and stressed out. Your brain is flooding with negatives thoughts all which make you feel that you really need to do it now or else it'll never end. Acting on those thoughts might only harm you now and keep you long term. I hope you think it through and relax for the day. Take a warm shower. Sleep. Do something to help ease you up for the day. When youre in a clear state of mind then you could make whatever decisions your heart desires.

thank you but I have things prepared already. I think I'll hang myself tonight. it's almost 1 am, my family is asleep, my life sucks and I can't handle things anymore. I know im not in a clear state of mind but im just over it all. tonight is the best chance I'll get. ill probably fuck it up like I do everything but I really appreciate your kind words. really. I tried to think it through but right now my mind isnt there I can't think of anything. I just dont know what else to do

 

[LastNite]

thank you but I have things prepared already. I think I'll hang myself tonight. it's almost 1 am, my family is asleep, my life sucks and I can't handle things anymore. I know im not in a clear state of mind but im just over it all. tonight is the best chance I'll get. ill probably fuck it up like I do everything but I really appreciate your kind words. really. I tried to think it through but right now my mind isnt there I can't think of anything. I just dont know what else to do

Well I hope you think it through more and if you end up deciding to go through with it then best of wishes good luck with everything

 

[soul2realm]

im rambling im sorry im just so stressed right now I have no idea whats going on. everyone wants me dead anyway everyone knows something about me that they wont tell me thats why they look at me the way they do and treat me the way they do. theyre not good at hiding it I can tell. theyre all laughing at me and they think im so stupid and I hate it I dont want to be judged all the time. everyone wants me to kill myself thats why they treat me as a human that needs to go along with these things like education job family, they all know how miserable it makes me and therefore they continue to expect these things from me in hopes that I can't take it and I kill myself. my gp gives me meds that dont work so I get miserable enough to kill myself. why is everyone against me. I can't even think straight tonight my mind is racing and no thoughts are good I think this is the best time to end it all while im stressed as fuck and too overwhelmed to think straight. I have been extremely depressed these last few weeks with no way out and for once I finally feel like I know my purpose I feel real and unreal at the same time disconnected from humanity and the world. its truly over and tonight these profound thoughts have come to me for a reason this is my sign to finally do it, its all been building up to this. I probably wont end up doing it but I swear I'll try and if I fail im going to throw away everything I own so I can shed everything people tie me to. I think my miserable life would be spent better staring at the wall all day than whatever im doing now anyway. jeez. I dont even know what im saying. I love u all and I hope you have a peaceful week, im just done at this point

Hey, I think the prior comment does make sense. After my failed first attempt, Its been 2 months and I haven't been able to give it another shot. When nothing comes to mind, its better make a cup of tea or coffee, grab something to eat and sit back in a comfy chair. It might give you the clarity that you are looking for.