Tomr I'll find out if I'm gonna kill myself or not

[Sunghoon]

I've been actively trying to ctb for the past three years. I even have a second account on here named Sunoo, but I forgot my password, so I had to make another one. After my last failed attempt in December I got better in the last month and applied to something in the States. If I get rejected, then I lose everything since I didn't work hard last year, and now I have nothing left. If I get accepted, I'll have a reason to live, and it will open up so many opportunities and hope. But if I get rejected, I will 100% ctb. I don't care if I sound stupid—there's no more hope, and I can't live with the failure. All I can do is pray to God and hope He doesn't let me down. I'm trying to be positive and put all my faith in Jesus, but I can't help being worried, obviously. My hands are shaking while typing this. I might sound crazy, but oh well, life sucks, and everything hurts. All I can say is, wish me luck and pray for me, whether you're religious or not :(

 

[huntermellow]

good luck i really hope you get accepted !!

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best in whatever happens.

 

[mrtime87]

If you dont mind me asking, what was the method of your last attempt?

 

[Sunghoon]

If you dont mind me asking, what was the method of your last attempt?

Overdose with Olanzapine but I didn't have enough but I was very close to dying bc my immunity is low

 

[nibbleone]

did you get accepted?

 

[nir]

I've been actively trying to ctb for the past three years. I even have a second account on here named Sunoo, but I forgot my password, so I had to make another one. After my last failed attempt in December I got better in the last month and applied to something in the States. If I get rejected, then I lose everything since I didn't work hard last year, and now I have nothing left. If I get accepted, I'll have a reason to live, and it will open up so many opportunities and hope. But if I get rejected, I will 100% ctb. I don't care if I sound stupid—there's no more hope, and I can't live with the failure. All I can do is pray to God and hope He doesn't let me down. I'm trying to be positive and put all my faith in Jesus, but I can't help being worried, obviously. My hands are shaking while typing this. I might sound crazy, but oh well, life sucks, and everything hurts. All I can say is, wish me luck and pray for me, whether you're religious or not :(

Hoping you got accepted!!

 

[lament.]

I really hope all goes well for you, I recognize your old accounts name - I think we joined the forum at similar times and you seemed really nice in your posts. I whole heartedly pray you get the future you hope for.

 

[Sunghoon]

did you get accepted?

I did but I can't afford to go yet :(

 

[nibbleone]

Congrats!! Maybe student aid?

 

[Sunghoon]

Congrats!! Maybe student aid?

Sadly no I'm rlly sad about it buttt there's a chance that I can go next year but until then :(