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gr1lledcheese

gr1lledcheese

Student
Dec 18, 2021
139
This morning I booked a room. I made it for three nights just to be sure I don't get found too quickly.

I'm nervous, and of course now that my time is imminent I'm starting to have second thoughts. But I know I have to do it.

I got a text about an hour ago from a friend I pet sit for about an upcoming job I have. I know I should answer her quickly, and tell her I can't do it so she can make other arrangements, but I'm dreading the conversation in general. I wish I'd canceled a few days ago when I realized how close it was.

It's scary planning this.
 
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dreadpirateroberts69

dreadpirateroberts69

RRREEEEEEE (she/her)
Nov 4, 2021
278
I imagine it must be nerve wracking and scary. Just let yourself feel what you have to feel, only you can know if this is the right decision for yourself. And if you feel you need to reach out to someone for whatever reason, my inbox is open. I wish you peace.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,328
I understand why you would be nervous. For many people it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that you might die soon as after all existence is all we know. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
I hear you. We get nervous over silly things. It is understandable to feel nervous about ctb. If you don't feel ready, no rush. Sourcing out affairs can be daunting
 
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gr1lledcheese

gr1lledcheese

Student
Dec 18, 2021
139
I understand why you would be nervous. For many people it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that you might die soon as after all existence is all we know. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
Thanks. I've got the SN, and the other things I need. I wanted to do this a couple weeks ago but remembered a pet sitting job I couldn't cancel. And so it was postponed. I don't want to wait any longer because of certain events that are coming up, and I want to be gone before they happen.
So I'll do it. But I am scared.
 
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Reactions: _Seeking, Dead Meat, Journeytoletgo and 1 other person
Braindead Atheist

Braindead Atheist

Specialist
Oct 7, 2020
387
This morning I booked a room. I made it for three nights just to be sure I don't get found too quickly.

I'm nervous, and of course now that my time is imminent I'm starting to have second thoughts. But I know I have to do it.

I got a text about an hour ago from a friend I pet sit for about an upcoming job I have. I know I should answer her quickly, and tell her I can't do it so she can make other arrangements, but I'm dreading the conversation in general. I wish I'd canceled a few days ago when I realized how close it was.

It's scary planning this.
I wish you luck and I wish you peace. I'm killing myself at the end of June. I bought a rope and hid it. I feel no attachment to this life.
 
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Thankyoufortoday

Thankyoufortoday

Member
Dec 13, 2021
45
I understand being nervous. I've backed out a few times myself. There's no shame in changing your mind or postponing your plans should it come to that
 
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gr1lledcheese

gr1lledcheese

Student
Dec 18, 2021
139
I wish you luck and I wish you peace. I'm killing myself at the end of June. I bought a rope and hid it. I feel no attachment to this life.
Thank you. I have little to no attachment to this world either. I do wish I had more time though. I wish you much luck.
 
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VoidDesirer22

VoidDesirer22

A dream inside a locked room
Sep 6, 2021
673
Thanks. I've got the SN, and the other things I need. I wanted to do this a couple weeks ago but remembered a pet sitting job I couldn't cancel. And so it was postponed. I don't want to wait any longer because of certain events that are coming up, and I want to be gone before they happen.
So I'll do it. But I am scared.
Isn't it strange how we get so worried about clearing our schedule up, even if we'd be dead? I worry about this too, and want ample time for my shifts to be covered properly. I guess it is just best to minimize inconvenience.
 
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gr1lledcheese

gr1lledcheese

Student
Dec 18, 2021
139
Isn't it strange how we get so worried about clearing our schedule up, even if we'd be dead? I worry about this too, and want ample time for my shifts to be covered properly. I guess it is just best to minimize inconvenience.
I guess it is. I know my death will be disruptive to my family and some of my friends (some more than others), but I want to do as much as I can to prevent inconveniences for others. I recently organized my tax information. I don't have all the paperwork yet so I can't do them myself before I go. I do feel bad for all the pet sitting I scheduled for people in the coming months though.😕 Hey, if I could live on my pet sitting money alone, I wouldn't be on this site.
 
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GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,372
Oh @gr1lledcheese I'm so sorry. I've really enjoyed your presence around here. Of course you would be nervous, that's perfectly understandable! There's something very noble about considering others even in the face of such a significant event. Make sure you consider yourself as much as others especially during this time, you deserve all the very best, if there's anything to help make all of this easier or less stressful for you, that's extremely important.
 
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Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
680
I love you and I'm thinking about you, you are not alone❤️❤️❤️
 
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Reactions: gr1lledcheese
S

someonelse

Member
Jan 28, 2022
77
This morning I booked a room. I made it for three nights just to be sure I don't get found too quickly.

I'm nervous, and of course now that my time is imminent I'm starting to have second thoughts. But I know I have to do it.

I got a text about an hour ago from a friend I pet sit for about an upcoming job I have. I know I should answer her quickly, and tell her I can't do it so she can make other arrangements, but I'm dreading the conversation in general. I wish I'd canceled a few days ago when I realized how close it was.

It's scary planning this.
I'm planning to ctb on Saturday and im having similar feelings. I think it's normal to be nervous and a bit scared. Whatever you decide I wish you the best and hope you find peace in whatever form you can find it.
 
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Reactions: gr1lledcheese and Dead Meat
gr1lledcheese

gr1lledcheese

Student
Dec 18, 2021
139
I just checked in, and unpacked. Still pretty nervous. The hardest part so far was saying goodbye to my friend's dogs. At least they'll never know.
 
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G

Gordy99

Student
Jan 7, 2022
143
I just checked in, and unpacked. Still pretty nervous. The hardest part so far was saying goodbye to my friend's dogs. At least they'll never know.

I hope you find peace. I wish you the best.
 
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Reactions: gr1lledcheese

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