Tomorrow

[lymbo]

So I've just found out I've lost my job. I've been planning to CTB for a while now and this has been the last straw. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot put up with these feelings that feel like a hole is being ripped inside of me. I have lost everything in the space of just a month and I can't do it anymore.

I'll keep you all updated tomorrow and I'm sorry I haven't been able to know you all better. I hope that there is a God and I hope there is a heaven. If not then just peace will do. I'm a good person and yet time and time again my life keeps getting ripped apart. I can't do it anymore.

My plan is to jump off a cliff tomorrow. I'll have a couple beers beforehand, send a few emails to the people I love and then jump. Part of me is glad that this will finally be over.

I just can't do it anymore. I hope my family and my girlfriend will understand.

Alcal

Sorry to hear, my l ask what was the job?

 

[Ghost2211]

Jumping takes some major balls. People who can do it likely just loose balance and fall from the sheer weight of their massive balls.

But in all seriousness try not to feel bad about not killing yourself. I relieved youre still here. I would have missed saying goodbye. We are all here for you, you're not alone.

 

[SinisterKid]

Funny joke.

Not quite sure what you mean by that.

@Alcal Its ok. You have not failed anyone, you are not pathetic, you are not a failure. Just take some time, catch your breath and reassess the situation. Dont be in a hurry to end life because as far as we are aware, there is no coming back. Lean on others here for support whilst you look at everything. Its what the place is for.

 

[GottaGo]

I'm a new member, I searched CTB randomly online and wondered to this site. I saw your post and really wanted to write you something before you really CTB so I created an account. I was afraid to miss the change but I just got passed my the admin and I am so glad you didn't ended up doing it. It takes courage to decide to CTB and decide to live. Whatever you decide, I just want to give you a hug. You didn't waste any time at all. I'm happy you are still here

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I couldn't do it- I came hours out, climbed and climbed and stared out for why seemed eternity and I chickened out. I'm so disappointed in myself and just so sad right now. I will have to find another way. I'm sorry I wasted everyones time. I'm so pathetic I can't even jump off a bloody cliff.

Don't be so hard on yourself. What you are trying to do is hard, perhaps the hardest thing you'll ever do.

We are here for you no matter what. Hang out. Talk to us. Read until your eyes get tired.

When the time is ready, nothing will stop you. Not even you.

 

[140 bpm]

You don't waste anybody's time at all brother.
It's tough and it's normal to be scared to make that step , especially if you standing there and watching down.
I'm willing to do same method, so for me helpful thing is proper playlist to clear your thoughts and put yourself in a right peaceful mood.

If you like electronic music, you can find some good tracks for relax

 

[less than]

@Alcal I am glad that you are still with us. I'm not afraid of heights, but I'm not sure if I could ever jump. So please don't be so hard on yourself. Ctb is an ultimate decision.Take a step back (no pun intented). Rethink your situation. Read and take a look around here. May be you'll find a way to recover. Yet if you still want to go, you could search for another / less terrifying method.

@GottaGo
Welcome here on SS.

 

[Alcal]

Sorry to hear, my l ask what was the job?

I worked as a teacher. UnfortunatelyI had to take some time off so they ended my contract. I worked internationally so there's literally no rights for me.
Thank you so much to everyone who responded and supported me yesterday. I've decided to go down the SN route and have started ordering stuff. I'm certain that i'm ready to but I want to go in a more peaceful way and be somewhere warm!

You all are so kind and wonderful human beings. I know everyone is finding life difficult and yet you find time and energy to support others. This forum is just so amazing. Thank you so much to everyone.

 

[jgm63]

Not quite sure what you mean by that.

@Alcal Its ok. You have not failed anyone, you are not pathetic, you are not a failure. Just take some time, catch your breath and reassess the situation. Dont be in a hurry to end life because as far as we are aware, there is no coming back. Lean on others here for support whilst you look at everything. Its what the place is for.

Believe it was reference to joke made here by OP :

Spoiler: post-564454

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/tomorrow.30784/post-564454

 

[MrOptions]

Your ctb method is one of the ballsiest ways to do it. Kudo's for even planning it out and actually getting to the spot you would ctb. Life is "shit and ice cream."
Wishing you all the best in whatever you choose.

 

[Otter]

Not quite sure what you mean by that.

Alcal had made a joke in one of his previous posts that was funny. I'm sure that's what he meant.