I think this was not a good idea. I would never tell anyone about suicidal thoughts. I see not only the danger that you might lose friends, but much more the danger that someone will get the idea to report it. This could lead to you ending up in a psychiatric ward. I´m sure this is not what you want to hear and I don´t want to scar you, but this is real life. I would tell the friend you have thought again and you think you will have a better future after all.
So pretend that you are confident about the future.
Cute cat by the way.
As someone who has been involuntarily admitted in wards multiple times for suicidal ideation, I believe I know why you are writing that, yet I still feel that your message needs to be nuanced a bit because sometimes talking about suicidal thoughts can be beneficial and can lead to better care (i.e. not the ward). It is true that you should avoid telling anyone that you have precise, planed or imminent suicidal thoughts, or that your are at risk of bodily harm, or even let anyone think that it *might* be the case. This has indeed great chances of leading to an imprisonment. However, I would certainly not advise someone to "never tell anyone about suicidal thoughts" unless they lived in a country where
suicide is illegal or something. In most developed countries, I don't think this is directly the case (but I agree that depending on the country, you have to be
very careful about the words you use if you don't want to end up in a ward because it's always slippery, I've been there way too many times).
Ultimately, I reckon the decision of partially or completely disclosing suicidal thoughts to someone should be evaluated depending on numerous factors (non-exhaustive):
- The country you live in (not all countries follow the same procedures regarding suicidal thoughts, check your local laws, try to find testimonies)
- The person you intend to talk to (are they a doctor? a friend? a parent?)
- The kind of relationship you have with them (are they empathetic? do you trust them? how do you imagine they'd react? do you think they'd tell to someone if you asked them not to?)
- Whether you think discussing these thoughts would discharge you of some weight or help you in any way
- Whether you feel that you are physically and mentally able to actively minimize and de-escalate in case it goes out of control
- How comfortable you are with the idea that what you share may be spread to some of your relatives (depending on their temperament, beliefs, moral stance, some people just can't keep such things for themselves, and you can't predict it. They might just repeat all or part of it to your close family, so I'd advise you not to disclose something you aren't be ready to discuss with your relatives)
Once you have disclosed that you have suicidal thoughts however, regardless of their intensity, you have to expect to be under increased surveillance at least for some time, which might hinder with any previous plan you may have had, so be prepared for it. There's also the risk that the conversation turns out badly (e.g. you get misunderstood, blamed, shamed, humiliated, insulted, denied, ignored, …); I think this is a very high yet underestimated risk.
---
That being said, it's already pretty relieving that your friend didn't seem to escalate the situation as soon as you told them. I'd reiterate that you'd prefer them not to talk about that to someone else, and maybe emphasize that talking with them did you good and that those are just blurry dark ideas at the moment (they shouldn't worry too much or overreact). Just see how it goes, but surely never tell them if you have imminent plans.
