Venting Today was supposed to be my last

[puella]

It's so unfair that I have to keep suffering. Today was supposed to be my last day. It would have been, if I still had SN. Now I have to worry about everything again. Where do I stay? How do I get healthcare? What do I feed myself? When will I run out of money? Why won't it ever get better? I'm so, so stressed.

I want someone to take care of me. I can't take care of myself. How is it that people feel like it's okay to force me to live, only to then abandon me. Even my family. I'm 21, so I guess I'm too old to be taken care of. I need to be responsible, think for myself, and stop complaining. But I still get no autonomy over my choice to live? It makes no sense.

 

[Lostindespair3]

ohhhh I feel all of this so deeply. I'm twice your age, but still wish someone would take care of me…and honestly, right now my mom sort of is because I'm so so depressed-having trouble getting out of bed, showering, cooking, simple life shit feels impossible.

It's so hard when you feel as unsupported as it sounds like you do! Trust me TONS of 21 year olds live at home and are still completely supported by their parents. Sounds like that may not be an option for you, but don't feel down on yourself for not having things figured out…life can be so fucking challenging, but you've got time to work on everything. I'm sorry you feel like things won't get better (I know the feeling all too well), but again don't be so hard on yourself…patience!

 

[Kasumi]

I know that feeling so well, always beeing forced to take care of yourself because no one else ever did, but you never learned how to since no one else teached you either.
It's cruel, it robs us of so many years, not just of time, many things are lost forever, a normal school life, a normal environment, the chance to do well, to prepare for our future, we don't have those cause we're always having to give our all simply to keep going and not fall apart.

 

[girl2910]

Yesterday was supposed to be my last day and now I'm here