N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 6,039
2 psychologists have given up on my due to chronic unfixable suicidal thoughts and my unability to work. They don't put me in the psych ward forever that's only a myth becasue it's not acute rather a suicide in the future. It was so damn awkward. I think he still worries about me. He was really the one psychologist who was very engaged in my case. He did not look good when we've met. He knows that my problems (bipolar/poverty/strong suicidality) probably cannot be fixed.
We had like a group meeting in our job coach group. The topic was independence, growing up and life goals. Damn this made me depressed. At every topic I just thought yes I cannot do that I rather will kill me. This does not work the other issue does not work either.
At one point he mentioned that he also knows that there is someone in this group with a very brutale fate. He knows I was abused and that caused almost all my problems.
Damn I am so glad I have this forum. Psychiatry sucks when they treat suicidality. They just don't know how to handle it. They should engage in trying to enable assisted suicide for cases like me. Instead you have to buy stuff illegaly and get stigmatized. Also my current psychologist revealed he sometimes does not know what to answer when someone says I want to kill me. I did not openly speak with him about the topic.
At least I cannot pretend this first psychologist did not care.
In forums like this I feel so understood. I think it is hard to grasp for healthy people the strong wish to die every single day. Nevertheless pro-lifers want to shut down the only place (except 2-3 friends) where I can be me.
We had like a group meeting in our job coach group. The topic was independence, growing up and life goals. Damn this made me depressed. At every topic I just thought yes I cannot do that I rather will kill me. This does not work the other issue does not work either.
At one point he mentioned that he also knows that there is someone in this group with a very brutale fate. He knows I was abused and that caused almost all my problems.
Damn I am so glad I have this forum. Psychiatry sucks when they treat suicidality. They just don't know how to handle it. They should engage in trying to enable assisted suicide for cases like me. Instead you have to buy stuff illegaly and get stigmatized. Also my current psychologist revealed he sometimes does not know what to answer when someone says I want to kill me. I did not openly speak with him about the topic.
At least I cannot pretend this first psychologist did not care.
In forums like this I feel so understood. I think it is hard to grasp for healthy people the strong wish to die every single day. Nevertheless pro-lifers want to shut down the only place (except 2-3 friends) where I can be me.
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