Venting Today has been so crappy

[sometimes.sometimes]

Today has been one of the worst days in a while. This morning, I almost witnessed my mom's dog attack someone. I told my mom, and she said that the dog was trying to protect me. I don't know. It is all confusing.

After that point, I realized that my day was going to be shitty. I know that isn't a positive mindset, but there is no point in it when I already know it is going to be a negative day, you know?

After that, I went back to sleep. I woke up about an hour ago, and I wish I could go back to sleep. I don't want to be awake. I hate remembering how I will always be nothing and lonely. I don't know why I thought summer this year was going to be different. It has been shitty like all of the other years.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's understandable just wishing to sleep as to me being conscious and aware truly is a dreadful thing, it just leads to more suffering. Existence certainly is too cruel, I've never wished to be awake, to me all that's ideal is being completely unaware of everything, I understand that it's tiring and awful feeling trapped in an existence you hate.