Discussion To those who will also be using N

[xLosthopex]

What do you plan to do in the few minutes after drinking N before going unconscious?
As someone who suffers from panic attacks and severe OCD I'm afraid that after I drink my N I will have a panic attack and start having racing thoughts and doubts about all the things that could possibly go wrong, and I really don't want my final moments to be filled with so much fear and anxiety

Ps. This is me asking for advice about a specific issue, not looking for people to tell me(because trust me I've heard it from enough people on this forum already) : "You should just be grateful you have N in the first place!" & "Well if I had N that would be the least of my worries!" Again, I've heard it all before so no need to reiterate:)

 

[Apricity]

I actually just emailed D. I have Nitrogen but I'm afraid of the damn bag. I'd record a goodbye video. For the panic attacks, maybe take a benzo a few hours before.

 

[bed]

do you have benzos? taking some beforehand could help lower the anxiety after you drank it. I'll prob just have my favourite music on and laying upright in my bed. I also have terrible anxiety and panic attacks so this prob won't go as planned but benzos should help.

 

[Apricity]

do you have benzos? taking some beforehand could help lower the anxiety after you drank it. I'll prob just have my favourite music on and laying upright in my bed. I also have terrible anxiety and panic attacks so this prob won't go as planned but benzos should help.

I have a prescription for Xanax.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I wish I could get N.

I guess a few benzos might help. As a user here stated once. There is very little problem in overdosing since you're going away. So just pop a lot of benzos might actually work.

Wish you the best, Lost.

 

[Apricity]

I wish I could get N.

I guess a few benzos might help. As a user here stated once. There is very little problem in overdosing since you're going away. So just pop a lot of benzos might actually work.

Wish you the best, Lost.

A lot is probably a bad idea. Increased chance of vomiting. Just a few would likely work best.

 

[bed]

I wish I could get N.

I guess a few benzos might help. As a user here stated once. There is very little problem in overdosing since you're going away. So just pop a lot of benzos might actually work.

Wish you the best, Lost.

i just wouldn't take too too much, since benzos and barbiturates potentiate each other, so you might pass out before you can drink it all

 

[Midgardsorm]

A lot is probably a bad idea. Increased chance of vomiting. Just a few would likely work best.

Yes. It's sad that even if you pass out you will still have the chance of vomiting. Even so, having meto and benzo will work.

i just wouldn't take too too much, since benzos and barbiturates potentiate each other, so you might pass out before you can drink it all

That's true. But I think the time for N to reach bloodstream will be enough to drink it all. Still, it,s better to be careful.



I guess just a more potent dosage of benzo is fine.

 

[bed]

A lot is probably a bad idea. Increased chance of vomiting. Just a few would likely work best.

clonazepam actually has AE properties so i doubt it'd increase the chance of vomiting.

 

[Apricity]

clonazepam actually has AE properties so i doubt it'd increase the chance of vomiting.

Unless there's a toxicologist here to say otherwise, I don't think an overdose of Clonazepam is worth the risk when a regular dose would work just fine for anxiety.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Clonazepam is also a respiratory depressant so it will actually work together with the main "mechanism of death" of N, I think.

A very high dosage might be fine, like 3x more than your average dosage.

 

[bed]

Clonazepam is also a respiratory depressant so it will actually work together with the main "mechanism of death" of N, I think.

A very high dosage might be fine, like 3x more than your average dosage.

yeah i'd be taking 2-3mg

Unless there's a toxicologist here to say otherwise, I don't think an overdose of Clonazepam is worth the risk when a regular dose would work just fine for anxiety.

i wasn't saying to od on clonazepam, just that a dose a bit bigger than your normal dose shouldn't cause more nausea

 

[Midgardsorm]

yeah i'd be taking 2-3mg

i wasn't saying to od on clonazepam, just that a dose a bit bigger than your normal dose shouldn't cause more nausea

You'd be taking that low dosage?

Okay, so that's how I know I'm addicted ...

 

[Shadowplay]

Assuming I get my hands on some N. I will simply put on my playlist (Brian Eno, Aphex Twin and Wiiliam Basinski). I've learnt to push through my anxiety; life didn't give me much choice. :-( Sorry not particularly helpful I know.

 

[Chockles]

I'm planning to take a couple cannabis capsules (rso) a few hours beforehand . They reduce my anxiety assuming I don't take too many & fall asleep. They are also an AE so hopefully with the other AEs will stop me vomitting. I'm not sure about benzos I've had quite a high tolerance the last couple years. Got it down to 1mg clonaz or loraz lately. Scsred to take more incase I get sleepy I hope to listen to some chilled reggae on run up to drinking the N then switch phone off get comfy for drinking it & day dream about walking my long departed dog on the beach.

 

[Apricity]

yeah i'd be taking 2-3mg

i wasn't saying to od on clonazepam, just that a dose a bit bigger than your normal dose shouldn't cause more nausea

Oh gotcha. My mistake.

You'd be taking that low dosage?

Okay, so that's how I know I'm addicted ...

Addicted or have built a tolerance? Probably both the same if you need a lot for the same effect lol.

Those of you with BPD, please be careful with this. I tried to OD on it years ago and it sent me on a blacked-out rampage. Docs told me it was because of my BPD. I honestly don't know if they're correct, but be careful just the same.

 

[alwaysdopesick]

What do you plan to do in the few minutes after drinking N before going unconscious?
As someone who suffers from panic attacks and severe OCD I'm afraid that after I drink my N I will have a panic attack and start having racing thoughts and doubts about all the things that could possibly go wrong, and I really don't want my final moments to be filled with so much fear and anxiety

Ps. This is me asking for advice about a specific issue, not looking for people to tell me(because trust me I've heard it from enough people on this forum already) : "You should just be grateful you have N in the first place!" & "Well if I had N that would be the least of my worries!" Again, I've heard it all before so no need to reiterate:)

Don't worry once you drink, it keep focus on keeping it down "don't fting TOO fast), you will be fine and anxiety free. Personally, I will be doing a bag or 2 of Street dope before I injest my antidote

I'm planning to take a couple cannabis capsules (rso) a few hours beforehand . They reduce my anxiety assuming I don't take too many & fall asleep. They are also an AE so hopefully with the other AEs will stop me vomitting. I'm not sure about benzos I've had quite a high tolerance the last couple years. Got it down to 1mg clonaz or loraz lately. Scsred to take more incase I get sleepy I hope to listen to some chilled reggae on run up to drinking the N then switch phone off get comfy for drinking it & day dream about walking my long departed dog on the beach.

I've always been scared of benzo/N cross tolerance, anything I should be worried about?

 

[Chockles]

Don't worry once you drink, it keep focus on keeping it down "don't fting TOO fast), you will be fine and anxiety free. Personally, I will be doing a bag or 2 of Street dope before I injest my antidote

I've always been scared of benzo/N cross tolerance, anything I should be worried about?

Cross tolerance can delay time it takes I was told. As I've only got 12hrs not 24-48 under elderly parents roof I'd rather avoid upping my dose. I'll just ride out my anxiety as best as I can.

 

[Kairo64]

Probably, I would take some liqueur. Hopefully I receive my N.

 

[Chockles]

Probably, I would take some liqueur. Hopefully I receive my N.

That's my plan. A shot of plum gin liqueur afterwards. My N hopefully should be here tmw.

 

[xLosthopex]

You'd be taking that low dosage?

Okay, so that's how I know I'm addicted ...

I was really dependent on it also but I've managed to wean myself down from 15mg a day to 5mg in preparation for taking N,
But also considering taking a bunch of them prior to taking N to calm my nerves, anyone know if this is ok to do?

 

[Chockles]

I was really dependent on it also but I've managed to wean myself down from 15mg a day to 5mg in preparation for taking N,
But also considering taking a bunch of them prior to taking N to calm my nerves, anyone know if this is ok to do?

I was really dependent on it also but I've managed to wean myself down from 15mg a day to 5mg in preparation for taking N,
But also considering taking a bunch of them prior to taking N to calm my nerves, anyone know if this is ok to do?

If your tolerance to benzos down my fear would be you could fall asleep before you get enough N down.

 

[bed]

I was really dependent on it also but I've managed to wean myself down from 15mg a day to 5mg in preparation for taking N,
But also considering taking a bunch of them prior to taking N to calm my nerves, anyone know if this is ok to do?

what benzo?

Personally, I won't be going above 2-3x my normal dose.

 

[xLosthopex]

what benzo?

Personally, I won't be going about 2-3x my normal dose.

Diazepam

 

[bed]

Diazepam

assumed so with the dosage you specified but wanted to make sure. 15mg is roughly the equivalent of 1.5mg of clonazepam i believe.

 

[Seiba]

I won't be able to do N myself most likely unless I delay things for a while (which is possible I suppose but SN is so much cheaper even if it's obviously not the most ideal in comparison.) I've imagined a goodbye video as well, but I probably won't make one. I didn't do anything special when I tried leaving at sixteen (not SN method for reference) other than wiping my computer and then trying to die. That aside, a day use hotel for my case. I've seen people who have planned for months or done multiple days of hotels booked but I think that will just make my SI bad and then waste my money. So, a couple of hours to get it over with and less time for my corpse to be ugly for any staff. I don't really enjoy anything but I do listen to music just to have noise sometimes. I'm not sure I'd care enough to bring it with me to the hotel but it might serve somewhat as a distraction? Not sure. It would probably help for me to bring something like that in the bag with me to help with the fact I'm packing SN and the meds with it. From what I've read they don't check your bags but I imagine I will have some anxiety knowing I'm talking to people and packing something to leave right in front of them -- something like a music cd player with some earbuds would lessen that a bit possibly even if it doesn't truly matter.

I won't be able to do N myself most likely unless I delay things for a while (which is possible I suppose but SN is so much cheaper even if it's obviously not the most ideal in comparison.) I've imagined a goodbye video as well, but I probably won't make one. I didn't do anything special when I tried leaving at sixteen (not SN method for reference) other than wiping my computer and then trying to die. That aside, a day use hotel for my case. I've seen people who have planned for months or done multiple days of hotels booked but I think that will just make my SI bad and then waste my money. So, a couple of hours to get it over with and less time for my corpse to be ugly for any staff. I don't really enjoy anything but I do listen to music just to have noise sometimes. I'm not sure I'd care enough to bring it with me to the hotel but it might serve somewhat as a distraction? Not sure. It would probably help for me to bring something like that in the bag with me to help with the fact I'm packing SN and the meds with it. From what I've read they don't check your bags but I imagine I will have some anxiety knowing I'm talking to people and packing something to leave right in front of them -- something like a music cd player with some earbuds would lessen that a bit possibly even if it doesn't truly matter.

Btw sorry if you wanted strictly only N no matter what. I just figured it was similar enough to not really matter since both are methods that are ingested and require other things to work.

 

[greyhound]

I am also a bit worried about the same thing. I have N and also issues with panic and anxiety. I'm worried that if I start having a panic attack it will make me more nauseous.

Like others said I think maybe just being mentally prepared and listening to the right music will hopefully help calm any last minute fears.

I was in touch with another user who CTBed this week. They didn't want to post a goodbye thread due to the general lack of respect that's been shown lately here on those threads. But we had become close and I was in touch with them until their final minutes with N. I was really impressed with their general calmness on their final day. They seemed to have made peace with everything and were truly ready to go.

I also think that the N will probably start kicking in very quickly and so will probably begin to feel sedated even as we finish drinking it. So realistically there is probably only a small window of probably less than a minute where we could feel anxious. I think with N we are lucky to not have to deal with 10-15 mins of unpleasant state of mind like SN.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I am also a bit worried about the same thing. I have N and also issues with panic and anxiety. I'm worried that if I start having a panic attack it will make me more nauseous.

Like others said I think maybe just being mentally prepared and listening to the right music will hopefully help calm any last minute fears.

Man, I always thought if I had access to N I would be able to CTB right away but I am not so sure anymore. Look at how many members here have a stockpile of the stuff for years and still alive. I guess unless there is a magical switch you can just flip to die, SI will always fuck with you.

 

[Zaz]

I could have Diazepam handy. How long ahead of time would you schedule the intake to be worthwhile regarding anxiety suppression ?

 

[Kaycee]

I took ~8mg benzos (I had no tolerance buildup, so that's 8x the 1mg normal dose) with vodka and passed out within a few minutes. I did vomit it up though, so it didn't work. I was pretty knocked out though, and don't remember throwing up, just waking up hours later. I didn't feel pain.

So I think taking smaller 2-3x the dose sounds like a better idea, along with anti-nausea precautions.