To those that SH and have visible scars. How do you deal with people?

[deedeme]

I have some scars on my arm (terrible spot for hiding especially during summer), and I'm so self conscious when I'm around people. I feel so bad because I don't want to receive questions about it or weird looks, especially from strangers.

My family knows so that isn't a problem, but when I'm outside gosh, does that make me feel bad. I remember a girl came to me and without any sort of hesitation asked me "do you cut yourself?" jeez. I wanted to bury myself. I don't remember what I told her, some kind of lame excuse for sure.

What are your thoughts? Do you hide them or don't care if people notice them?

 

[Nagito]

I have a few on my arms as well. I've always hidden them and the only time I don't wear long sleeves is at home. I just deal with cooking alive outside in sweaters in the summer which may or may not raise flags of it's own.

In the past when I was younger and would wear short sleeves I got questioned a few times if I had been attacked by a dog. Not sure if they were being polite or not but to someone with a history of SH I'd say it's pretty obvious they aren't dog bites, but I would always agree with whatever narrative someone guesses for them.

Dog bite? Yep. Accident? Yep.

If you would like to make them less noticeable, a tattoo is always an option.

 

[mortuarymary]

A few. The wrist ones are covered with tattoos. The ones on the tops of legs will eventually be covered.

 

[barkbark]

i personally just cut my thighs to avoid the issue but recently during a breakdown i sliced my wrists up and later needed to find an excuse. the working solution? bracelet and/or long sleeves. i will avoid the question entirely.

that said if i ever forget to wear it or whatever, im just gonna say that it was me being clumsy while washing knives since all my cuts look more like mild stabs than slices and i usually am very clumsy. i also just don't go out very much and hopefully by the time i go out in public in warm weather my scars will fade a bit more

 

[mortuarymary]

i personally just cut my thighs to avoid the issue but recently during a breakdown i sliced my wrists up and later needed to find an excuse. the working solution? bracelet and/or long sleeves. i will avoid the question entirely.

that said if i ever forget to wear it or whatever, im just gonna say that it was me being clumsy while washing knives since all my cuts look more like mild stabs than slices and i usually am very clumsy. i also just don't go out very much and hopefully by the time i go out in public in warm weather my scars will fade a bit more

Most people dont ask. They sort of know what it is.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Ik it's difficult but stand to what your're doing / what you did. Obviously that girl you referred to in OP did know what's going on. Maybe it would have been an "anchor point" to start a conversation?

Referring to myself, I most likely wouldn't have said anything as cutting would've never came to my mind and it's not what is important when getting in contact with a person for the first time.

 

[deedeme]

Ik it's difficult but stand to what your're doing / what you did. Obviously that girl you referred to in OP did know what's going on. Maybe it would have been an "anchor point" to start a conversation?

Referring to myself, I most likely wouldn't have said anything as cutting would've never came to my mind and it's not what is important when getting in contact with a person.

I wouldn't start a conversation based on that because it requires trust in order for someone to talk about it. There's enough shame that comes with it so people being inconsiderate bugs me.

 

[sadslime]

on the occasions i interact with or am around people I always wear long sleeves

 

[mortuarymary]

on the occasions i interact with or am around people I always wear long sleeves

You get past caring as you get older.

 

[UKscotty]

10 years since I SH'ed and I still have nasty scars..

Unfortunately it's like others have said, long sleeves and bracelets.

SH is one of my biggest regrets in life, the scars look so horrible even a decade later.

 

[thinvy]

I've grown to the point where I just don't care. fuck em if they're rude.
"what happened to your arms???" take a wild guess/ fought a cactus/ needed a list but I can't write neatly without lines and I always forget my notebook / (look them dead in the eyes) why would you ask me that / (look them dead in the eyes) what do you mean— oh my god what is that?
"why would you do that to yourself" was bored/ oh i didn't/ what do you think?/ I needed lined paper for class but forgot :( / the blood god demands blood! blood for the blood god!

for serious though, I've learned to make people feel shitty if they're asking in a malicious way, or taught people who don't know better than to ask stupid questions not to do that to people. I actually like my scars most days (sue me), and I don't mind them being a part of my body. I wouldn't be alive without them, and I don't care enough to do risky procedures to make them go away and blow my money in the process.

it's taken a long time and a lot of... I don't want to say self confidence because I'm not confident in myself, so I guess self acceptance?... to get to this point, but genuinely, I just try not to think too much about how other people react to my body in general. I can say that the only time I ever really think of peoples defining traits that aren't the usual ones (facial features, hair, eye color, that jazz) are when they're negative traits that impact me specifically. Like everyone knows that one person who refuses to use deodorant, or the one person who LOADS on the body spray.

I realized most people don't really pay attention or remember things that well. when I was working a full time job and other full timers, who saw me more than my mother, took over a month to notice my hair had gone from fire truck red to cobalt blue.

I hope this made any sort of sense through all my rambling, I'm pretty stoned atm

 

[soulessbunny]

Most are hidden, thighs etc.. and my fiancé actually doesn't have a problem ,he doesn't like that theyre there but he's not ashamed of them. summer they r lil vis but meh. Yet I do have a wrist one and it was across wrist (more of a incontrol of pain rather than ending) and i did get looks from ppl esp friends, they were embarrassed by them lol so I actually paid for laser to remove the scar, and did the sessions till I realised why am I covering it up, it's my body, my life. So I stopped b4 it had healed, so I'm left with one across wrist , ppl see but if I get uncomfortable i just say, oh u know watch straps…oddly ppl r dumb (no offence to present co).

 

[nobody11]

Broo just use this!!

 

[deedeme]

I've grown to the point where I just don't care. fuck em if they're rude.
"what happened to your arms???" take a wild guess/ fought a cactus/ needed a list but I can't write neatly without lines and I always forget my notebook / (look them dead in the eyes) why would you ask me that / (look them dead in the eyes) what do you mean— oh my god what is that?
"why would you do that to yourself" was bored/ oh i didn't/ what do you think?/ I needed lined paper for class but forgot :( / the blood god demands blood! blood for the blood god!

for serious though, I've learned to make people feel shitty if they're asking in a malicious way, or taught people who don't know better than to ask stupid questions not to do that to people. I actually like my scars most days (sue me), and I don't mind them being a part of my body. I wouldn't be alive without them, and I don't care enough to do risky procedures to make them go away and blow my money in the process.

it's taken a long time and a lot of... I don't want to say self confidence because I'm not confident in myself, so I guess self acceptance?... to get to this point, but genuinely, I just try not to think too much about how other people react to my body in general. I can say that the only time I ever really think of peoples defining traits that aren't the usual ones (facial features, hair, eye color, that jazz) are when they're negative traits that impact me specifically. Like everyone knows that one person who refuses to use deodorant, or the one person who LOADS on the body spray.

I realized most people don't really pay attention or remember things that well. when I was working a full time job and other full timers, who saw me more than my mother, took over a month to notice my hair had gone from fire truck red to cobalt blue.

I hope this made any sort of sense through all my rambling, I'm pretty stoned atm

Thank you for sharing. I admire you, you're totally right

Broo just use this!!View attachment 128524

Oh wow. Does it work? Thank youuu

 

[nobody11]

Thank you for sharing. I admire you, you're totally right

Oh wow. Does it work? Thank youuu

Are you sure you are 18+?
Yeah its working
And use Silicone gel + Silicone sheet ,3 months and scar will go away at least 60%

 

[deedeme]

Are you sure you are 18+?
Yeah its working
And use Silicone gel + Silicone sheet ,3 months and scar will go away at least 60%

Yes, I'm 22 almost 23. I never used makeup before because my scar is protruding so it doesn't really work. That's why I asked

 

[ResilientAF]

You get past caring as you get older.

You're right. I have scars on my wrists and I don't give a fuck what people think. Let them judge me all they like, they've not walked in my shoes and if they'd had they wouldn't last very long. Fuck them!

 

[deedeme]

You're right. I have scars on my wrists and I don't give a fuck what people think. Let them judge me all they like, they've not walked in my shoes and if they'd had they wouldn't last very long. Fuck them!

I try to think that way, when I'm feeling more powerful it works, when I feel at my lowest it doesn't really.. you're right though!

 

[hermestrimegistus]

When I was young and I still self harmed regularly, I just wouldn't wear t shirts or shorts. I didn't want to hear about it. One really hot summer day I mindlessly took off my jacket as a reflex because I was sweating. An acquaintance saw it and asked me what I was doing to myself. I just straight up lied and said it was my cat. It was very obviously not my cat. My entire forearm was covered. Lying and denial is really the only other option besides just telling the truth. I don't recommend either. Real self harm is denying yourself relief. That's probably why I don't do it anymore. Also I don't want to have to explain myself. I still have scars from over ten years ago. Honestly sucks. Just reminds me how bad I was doing

 

[Mäximum]

"what happened to your arms???" take a wild guess/ fought a cactus/ needed a list but I can't write neatly without lines and I always forget my notebook / (look them dead in the eyes) why would you ask me that / (look them dead in the eyes) what do you mean— oh my god what is that?
"why would you do that to yourself" was bored/ oh i didn't/ what do you think?/ I needed lined paper for class but forgot :( / the blood god demands blood! blood for the blood god!

Also currently struggling with the same problem OP has and reading this was really entertaining! Those are some great quotes. I think I will use some of them when I'm getting asked the question about the scars on my arm lol.

 

[Doombox]

I've never had anybody say anything, not even doctors; though my scars aren't extreme it's pretty clear what they are from. I guess I've been lucky!

 

[tiredofliving]

I have lots of visible scars. For the most part people don't say anything. Lots of people stare which I found uncomfortable for a while but I guess I just had to accept that people are going to be curious. I think if anyone came up to me directly and asked I'd probably just say it's not something I want to discuss and just move on.

 

[ceilng_tile]

"None of your fucking business" is always an appropriate answer to people who ask about scars.

 

[archerfish]

Most people ignore it, don't want to get involved. Even my own mother. Though I do try to keep them hidden most of the time, it's hard at work because of all the moving I do. I do it on my arm and thigh.

 

[Tarantula Girl]

I don't self harm like cutting but I have skin picked since I was very young. So scars are all over my body along with scabs and open wounds. I try to remember to put a concealer on the face ones most times I go out but I've had days that I forget to. I never wear long sleeves and rarely pants and have learned that as I get older, I care less that they are visible.
I believe I only get asked about once a year, and that's with going out often. People probably might question to themselves but don't ask me. And when that occasional question comes I flat out tell them I skin pick, and they don't question further.

 

[kittyswift]

i have some quite extensive scarring on my left arm from years and years of sh, and sh on already scarred tissue. i try to wear long sleeves to hide it when i can but when it gets too hot that just isnt an option for me as i overheat easily and it makes me sick. i havent really had anyone question me that often on it but i do notice people staring. when they have been staring for a while, i will stare back to make them uncomfortable. whenever i have had questions i have said something like while i appreciate your concern, my scars being visible isnt an invitation for you to ask me about it

 

[Act Two]

Most people dont ask. They sort of know what it is.

this is true for me as well, but most of mine are hidden beneath the watch i wear. otherwise i make some excuse like a cat scratch, dog bite, skateboard accident, metal shelves cut me, etc.

 

[bunny_brownie9]

lots on my arms. I have been told by random people that I should get tattoos to cover them, that they look disgusting and (my family) would be embarrassed to be seen out with me. I just tell people to not ask me whenever someone does, which is more than I'm comfortable with.

 

[HereTomorrow]

My arm scars are barely visible unless I'm out in the bright sun or people directly stare at it. When they used to be more visible I'd get a lot of freakouts from friends and even anger towards family (mostly "why didn't you tell me you were doing this?!"). Eventually I moved to cutting the ankles which the scars are now luckily buried by lots of leg hair.

At my workplace I'm blessed to be allowed to wear long sleeves even during the summer so it hasn't been a conversation there.

Did visit a friend last month who looked at my arm and was impressed on how "healed" they looked. I haven't done SH in years, but some people still remember regardless. It's hard to shake off.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

mine are quite obvious unfortunately, honestly I do get self conscious about them, but my need to be comfortable ends up outweighing what people think and then I also forget about my scars like 90% of the time because I'm so used to them >w< honestly I don't think anyone has said anything about them to me shockingly, except for when I was a kid

lots on my arms. I have been told by random people that I should get tattoos to cover them, that they look disgusting and (my family) would be embarrassed to be seen out with me. I just tell people to not ask me whenever someone does, which is more than I'm comfortable with.

That's fucking awful that people have told you that I'm so sorry. They're a part of your body, and there's nothing to be ashamed about :] some people just don't understand