Venting To much on my mind

[OverwhelmingDarkness]

I love my mom more then anything, but I hate how sometimes she just doesn't listen to me at all. It's just like she doesn't care about my emotions or my mental well-being at all sometimes.

Whenever I try to talk about how I feel, or my mental state, it's just considered complaining, whining, or I'm trying to manipulate her. That is not at all what I'm trying to do. If she hears or sees me crying, she won't even bat an eye or show a level of concern or care.

I hate it so fucking much. She has no idea how much it hurts me. I don't know, maybe she's right and I should stop complaining about how horrible my life is.

I feel like I am in the wrong. I'm 20 with no job, and she lets me stay with her. Yet, that isn't enough for me and I just want all her love and support. I'm probably asking to much.. I don't know

I'm also really clingy with people, especially new people. I don't mean to be.. Almost everyone I've ever been close with has left me, physically or emotionally. She's the only one that's been the the majority of my life..

I'm sorry, this post is all over the place. I just have a lot of my mind.

 

[_Kaira_]

Sometimes no one can really see the internal turmoil we are going through. I don't think it's not that she doesn't care, more so she doesn't like to think that some people truly are far gone in terms of wellness. My parents were like that, although they were also the cause of many of my issues. They're straight up narcissists. Their daughter? Mentally ill?? IMPOSSIBLE. They turned a blind eye to it when I was younger, cause it was just a phase, right? Last year, I tried expressing to them of my problems. My mom told me I was a basket case, and my dad told me to grow the hell up.

I'm also 23, no job. I feel like the biggest waste of space ever, and not too long I escaped my parents' home, they made haste in calling me nearly every day just to tell me what a disappointment I am. My point is, some people refuse to look at the bigger picture. They either ignore it, or force you to pretend like your issues aren't real. Ultimately, if they aren't willing to try and understand your problems, it's better to save yourself some grief.

I am also clingy with people. I have BPD along with other issues. I always become over-bearing to people, and trust me, I somehow manage to always push people away because of so. It's not an abnormal thing. Wanting to keep people around we strongly feel about. Not everyone can handle that level of need though. At the very least there will always be some people who understand the feeling all too well.

 

[Stick]

I agree with @ThisIsFine in that your Mom may just not understand that you truly feel the emotion you are trying to communicate. You shouldn't stop complaining because you should be able to do so with the people you are close to, but if she keeps making you feel worse about it then maybe you should stop, not for her sake but for yours. I am a bit worried because it sounds like she doesn't even offer any comfort.
Asking too much isn't asking too much. She may not be able to give you what you need, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve it. You don't owe us a beautifully written life story, it's okay if your post is all over the place. It's okay that you are where you are right now, and I'm sorry that you are at this low rn.

 

[OverwhelmingDarkness]

Sometimes no one can really see the internal turmoil we are going through. I don't think it's not that she doesn't care, more so she doesn't like to think that some people truly are far gone in terms of wellness. My parents were like that, although they were also the cause of many of my issues. They're straight up narcissists. Their daughter? Mentally ill?? IMPOSSIBLE. They turned a blind eye to it when I was younger, cause it was just a phase, right? Last year, I tried expressing to them of my problems. My mom told me I was a basket case, and my dad told me to grow the hell up.

I'm also 23, no job. I feel like the biggest waste of space ever, and not too long I escaped my parents' home, they made haste in calling me nearly every day just to tell me what a disappointment I am. My point is, some people refuse to look at the bigger picture. They either ignore it, or force you to pretend like your issues aren't real. Ultimately, if they aren't willing to try and understand your problems, it's better to save yourself some grief.

I am also clingy with people. I have BPD along with other issues. I always become over-bearing to people, and trust me, I somehow manage to always push people away because of so. It's not an abnormal thing. Wanting to keep people around we strongly feel about. Not everyone can handle that level of need though. At the very least there will always be some people who understand the feeling all too well.

Yeah.. I think you're right. That sounds like her.. And I feel that way too.. I actually suspect I have BPD, though it isn't actually diagnosed. this is helped me better understand her way of thinking..tysm for taking the time to respond

I agree with @ThisIsFine in that your Mom may just not understand that you truly feel the emotion you are trying to communicate. You shouldn't stop complaining because you should be able to do so with the people you are close to, but if she keeps making you feel worse about it then maybe you should stop, not for her sake but for yours. I am a bit worried because it sounds like she doesn't even offer any comfort.
Asking too much isn't asking too much. She may not be able to give you what you need, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve it. You don't owe us a beautifully written life story, it's okay if your post is all over the place. It's okay that you are where you are right now, and I'm sorry that you are at this low rn.

yeah.. you're probably right. I probably should stop complaining to her, cause it usually ends with me feeling worse.. She offers comfort when it comes to my physical needs, just not so much my emotional needs..

 

[whywere]

No problem about being all over the place. Heavens I am that way 100% of the time. You are loved here totally! The most beautiful sunny day is my wish for you!

 

[OverwhelmingDarkness]

No problem about being all over the place. Heavens I am that way 100% of the time. You are loved here totally! The most beautiful sunny day is my wish for you!

thank you