To ctb, or not to ctb?

[Silent_cries]

I need your thoughts on this. Things are getting so bad for me rn that it's litterary destroying me mentally and physically and it's getting more and more unbearable the longer I go on, yet I don't know if I'm quite ready to ctb yet as I am somehow hesistant to doing it still. Should I listen to my gut and not ctb yet, or my body and mental health and finally give it the peace ik it needs? Ik it's not good for my body to keep going through all of the shit I'm going through rn, but ik it's also not good to rush my ctb so idk what's the best choice to make here. What are your thoughts on this? Should I just stop procastinating my ctb and just do it already, or is it better to hang on until I'm truly ready?

 

[UKscotty]

No one can advise you what to do only you know.

Just remember that by its nature, CTB is literally the last resort and until that point there is always hope of recovery.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[SadLad]

I understand how you feel, but you should only CTB when all other avenues have been exhausted. DM me.

 

[Ash]

If your gut says it's not time, then I'd probably listen. There's no shame, whatever you decide.

 

[Silent_cries]

No one can advise you what to do only you know.

Just remember that by its nature, CTB is literally the last resort and until that point there is always hope of recovery.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Thank you! Ctb definitely is my only hope rn, I just need to get to the point where I'm ready first.

I understand how you feel, but you should only CTB when all other avenues have been exhausted. DM me.

It says your profile is limited, I can't dm you :/ Thanks though.

If your gut says it's not time, then I'd probably listen. There's no shame, whatever you decide.

I'm trying my best to hold on until I'm ready, I swear! But it's so hard rn! Everyday it's just getting more and more unbearable to me. Maybe I'll be ready once it's unbearble enough though? Idk, I'm so tired though >_<

 

[Dark Window]

If you don't know 100% that this is what you want, then don't do it.

This is why the only suicide that should not be prevented is suicide that is somewhat rational. You've thought about it and are sure this is what you want.

 

[Silent_cries]

If you don't know 100% that this is what you want, then don't do it.

This is why the only suicide that should not be prevented is suicide that is somewhat rational. You've thought about it and are sure this is what you want.

I've thought about it a lot, and I'm 100% sure ctb is the right choice for me, I'm just not ready just yet. I don't know when I'll be ready, could be tomorrow, could be next month, or it could even be years. All I know is that sooner or later that day will come, coz my life is far beyond fixable rn. I 100% agree with you though, ctb isn't to be taken lightly by any means, but in my case I think I just need some time to be able to do everything I want to do before ctb and come to peace with the thought of permanent nothingness (as I see that as the most likely outcome after death). I'll get there eventually. Thank you though <3

 

[cjs0712]

good luck.

 

[Silent_cries]

good luck.

Thank you. Not doing it yet though, but thanks anyways!

 

[theboy]

You can find the way out without ctb and make your life better. You have to find the solution. It can be with drugs, therapy and maybe religious help. Think it through and don't do ctb on impulse. Pm if you want

 

[iloverachel]

I wish you the best for whatever you choose to do.
Just please think very carefully about your decision.

I would try everything possible to get better before i consider CTB and once CTB is considered, make sure you do thorough research

Good luck and hope you find peace my friend

 

[Silent_cries]

I wish you the best for whatever you choose to do.
Just please think very carefully about your decision.

I would try everything possible to get better before i consider CTB and once CTB is considered, make sure you do thorough research

Good luck and hope you find peace my friend

Tysm, much appreciated! I've tried seeking help and recovering basicly my entire life with very little luck, and I've also ruined my life to the point where there is no hope of me ever having a worthy life anymore. I'm too mentally drained to explain it all rn, but I can assure you ctb is the right choice for me. I just need to give myself the time I need to get ready for it, no matter how grueling it is. I just know it within my heart that one day I will be ready to go. Until then I'll just have to do my best to keep going, with ctb being my best comfort through it all. Thanks for looking out for me though, and yes, I do agree that you should try to go for recovery before ctb if it feels right for you and the mental health system isn't already too fucked wherever you live, but not everyone can be fixed unfortunately. Life isn't for everyone. Ohh and yeah, dw, I've done thons of research and had some trials and errors and what not, and found my method of choice by coincidence. I even have a back-upmplan, maybe even two if my initial one fails.

 

[Dark Window]

I've thought about it a lot, and I'm 100% sure ctb is the right choice for me, I'm just not ready just yet. I don't know when I'll be ready, could be tomorrow, could be next month, or it could even be years. All I know is that sooner or later that day will come, coz my life is far beyond fixable rn. I 100% agree with you though, ctb isn't to be taken lightly by any means, but in my case I think I just need some time to be able to do everything I want to do before ctb and come to peace with the thought of permanent nothingness (as I see that as the most likely outcome after death). I'll get there eventually. Thank you though <3

The thread title is literally "to CTB or not to". This implies uncertainty on some level.

If you are literally willing to wait maybe years then you are not 100%. The people that I know that are 100% ready can't wait to CTB because their life is that painful. I'm not trying to push you to CTB, but you are far from 100% certain.

You sound like the sort of person who convinces themselves they are going to CTB because it provides them comfort. I get it.

I have a location and method sorted out. I know exactly how I'd do it. I could do it tomorrow.

But since i'm not in severe pain, and there's things I want to do, I cannot tell myself I'm 100% sure yet, regardless. If I was 100% sure, I'd be booking my ticket right now.

People who are 100% are either working towards their suicide right now trying to make it come as quickly as possible, or have a date, time and method already sorted out, e.g. they need to wait for their parents to leave for the weekend so they can CTB.

CTB isn't to be taken lightly, you're right, and you may be confident it's the best choice, but you're not 100% sure you're definitely killing yourself.

If you're willing to wait moths or years, then part of you must realise that something could happen during that time that changes your mind.

 

[iloverachel]

Tysm, much appreciated! I've tried seeking help and recovering basicly my entire life with very little luck, and I've also ruined my life to the point where there is no hope of me ever having a worthy life anymore. I'm too mentally drained to explain it all rn, but I can assure you ctb is the right choice for me. I just need to give myself the time I need to get ready for it, no matter how grueling it is. I just know it within my heart that one day I will be ready to go. Until then I'll just have to do my best to keep going, with ctb being my best comfort through it all. Thanks for looking out for me though, and yes, I do agree that you should try to go for recovery before ctb if it feels right for you and the mental health system isn't already too fucked wherever you live, but not everyone can be fixed unfortunately. Life isn't for everyone. Ohh and yeah, dw, I've done thons of research and had some trials and errors and what not, and found my method of choice by coincidence. I even have a back-upmplan, maybe even two if my initial one fails.

I can relate in a way, for me its been 8 years of trying nearly everything and its draining to even type out all the stuff i have tried.
If this is your decision, then i wish you the best, and that your exit from this world is painless and that you are no longer suffering and in pain

You will be missed

 

[Silent_cries]

I can relate in a way, for me its been 8 years of trying nearly everything and its draining to even type out all the stuff i have tried.
If this is your decision, then i wish you the best, and that your exit from this world is painless and that you are no longer suffering and in pain

You will be missed

Thank you! Finally someone who gets me! I was starting to get tired of people trying to convince me I don't want to ctb. Yes I do, I just need some time on me, that's all, I swear! Thank you so much!

 

[lnlybnny]

I've read a phrase recently that says something like "if you're in doubt about something, that means it's a NO", so maybe that applies to you

 

[tbroken]

What happened to me, why it happened and who's fault are really scary and embarassing, now that I have all the knowledge in my head , and I hate myself even more... I tried to do something in life, but the fear of feeling the same bad emotions of my trauma once again, always blocked me. I think I'll ctb as soon as soon as i plan it properly. This life sucks and it will never be good.