So. Some people get on my nerves with this "everyone has a purpose, life is a gift, the world is beautiful" yada yada nonsense.
Life to me is not a gift. Life is an obligation to go to work to pay bills that never end. Life is an obligation to help those around you and somehow stay alive and thrive for them. Life is an obligation to seem psychologically okay when you are not, just to make ends meet and keep your freedom.
I am tired of the obligation. I am tired of giving my all and still letting people down when really all I want is to check out. I'm ready to go.
But then what is on the other side of death? Is it more of the same? More mistakes for me to make? More beings for me to let down, God included?
In my opinion we were damned as soon as we were conceived in our mother's womb. Death in this life would only be the beginning of the trouble in the next. There never is an end to the suffering because we can't truly erase our existence.