Venting Tired of this life

[Sadbanana]

There was a breaking point in my life, when I lost interest in everything. It was a realization that I will not have the life I want no metter how hard I try and also I have became fed up with trying. I stopped doing the things that I "should" do and just let myself drown. Becuase all I really wanted was to drown, I wanted it to be over. I no longer wanted to be drunk on the idea of things getting better. I have seen through this cycle of things temporarily getting better, only to get worse later. I'm tired of trying to have the right "mindset".
All these things are there to distract me from the real truth which is that I'm more and more attracted to the unknown of death as oppose to this parody of a life.

There is a limit to me. Limit to how many times I'm willing to lower my expectations, bite the bullet, say it is what it is, and I'm very close to that limit.

 

[nendn]

Feel you my man, I can relate!

 

[IAmFae]

I hope things get better, I feel the same way

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I hope you find peace, because you deserve it.

 

[PanaxMan]

There was a breaking point in my life, when I lost interest in everything. It was a realization that I will not have the life I want no metter how hard I try and also I have became fed up with trying. I stopped doing the things that I "should" do and just let myself drown. Becuase all I really wanted was to drown, I wanted it to be over. I no longer wanted to be drunk on the idea of things getting better. I have seen through this cycle of things temporarily getting better, only to get worse later. I'm tired of trying to have the right "mindset".
All these things are there to distract me from the real truth which is that I'm more and more attracted to the unknown of death as oppose to this parody of a life.

There is a limit to me. Limit to how many times I'm willing to lower my expectations, bite the bullet, say it is what it is, and I'm very close to that limit.

Basically describing myself RN as I'm homeless. I'm going thru extreme nostalgia bait until death or something changes but I don't even know the outcome. My guess it's that it won't work but it'll be cool if it did.

 

[gunmetalblue]

Basically describing myself RN as I'm homeless

As someone who was homeless, I'm sorry. I hope your situation even in small circumstances gets better. It fucking sucks.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Oh and I don't? wtf

Uh.. No idea what you're talking about.

 

[luchayamor]

I just wanted to say that I truly relate to everything you have said! And I am sad that things are gonna end that way for us...
I am preparing to ctb in a couple of days with SN... I am sorry that my life, my academic career and my relationships were soooo bad. I am gonna leave thinking ( and feeling) that everyone hates me. That's just awful.