wolfpaxhd
Student
- Aug 30, 2025
- 128
Just wanted to put my 10 cents into this topic, since i don't make much posts here but i wanted to vent.
As a person who grew up with Autism and ADHD its been a terrible experience, especially with me getting bullied and me having tons of weight issues. It damaged my mental health in ways that are almost hard to describe. I don't want to mention my family history but its definitely rough to say the least, primarily from my end. Heading to now unfortunately I'm dealing with more depression. This was a place i never imagined i would ever be in. I always struggled making friends, keeping relationships, and it easily made things way worse for me to the point i feel like a failure to everything. I tried therapy and getting help just to eventually get hospitalized a 2nd time and now it feels less like help and more like the goal being to not get hospitalized. I believe life failed me including some of the systems and things that were supposed to help me. There's many decisions i wish i can take back and many things i wish ended off better for me. I'm often in a constant wave of negativity and in fighting a battle on whether to end my life the next night or find a reason to keep going. Which there isn't many things motivating me to live. Loneliness, seeking love, and motivation, are one of my biggest issues. My wish if i ever successfully CTB is for people to understand why my it needed to happen and to cherish all the happy moments i had with them. As i feel like my options for life are slowly coming to a close to the point ill have no options left. Paired with the fact my mental health might actually be even getting worse.
I try my best to improve daily in hopes something positive happens. But eventually, when is it time to stop trying?
As a person who grew up with Autism and ADHD its been a terrible experience, especially with me getting bullied and me having tons of weight issues. It damaged my mental health in ways that are almost hard to describe. I don't want to mention my family history but its definitely rough to say the least, primarily from my end. Heading to now unfortunately I'm dealing with more depression. This was a place i never imagined i would ever be in. I always struggled making friends, keeping relationships, and it easily made things way worse for me to the point i feel like a failure to everything. I tried therapy and getting help just to eventually get hospitalized a 2nd time and now it feels less like help and more like the goal being to not get hospitalized. I believe life failed me including some of the systems and things that were supposed to help me. There's many decisions i wish i can take back and many things i wish ended off better for me. I'm often in a constant wave of negativity and in fighting a battle on whether to end my life the next night or find a reason to keep going. Which there isn't many things motivating me to live. Loneliness, seeking love, and motivation, are one of my biggest issues. My wish if i ever successfully CTB is for people to understand why my it needed to happen and to cherish all the happy moments i had with them. As i feel like my options for life are slowly coming to a close to the point ill have no options left. Paired with the fact my mental health might actually be even getting worse.
I try my best to improve daily in hopes something positive happens. But eventually, when is it time to stop trying?
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