Venting tired of being strong and existing

[silentcicada]

Recovery has only further dug me into an already endless pit of misery. The awful part of trying everything is, now that you're out of options, what is there left for you? I've tried countless drugs and treatments, but nothing can fix the problem. I have a horrible family, job that doesn't give a shit about it's workers, and I'm in a LDR that likely won't go anywhere. College is out of the question.
It's impossible to explain how bad of a hand I've been dealt. I've been ready to give up since I was 11. Good thing I live in a state where gun control doesn't exist I guess.

 

[pole]

if you don't mind me asking, what pushed you to try recovery in the first place?

is there anything specific that has kept you going?

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound so tiring what you've had to endure, I find it awful how people suffer so much all through no fault of their own in this cruel world. But anyway best wishes.

 

[venin]

Recovery has only further dug me into an already endless pit of misery. The awful part of trying everything is, now that you're out of options, what is there left for you? I've tried countless drugs and treatments, but nothing can fix the problem. I have a horrible family, job that doesn't give a shit about it's workers, and I'm in a LDR that likely won't go anywhere. College is out of the question.
It's impossible to explain how bad of a hand I've been dealt. I've been ready to give up since I was 11. Good thing I live in a state where gun control doesn't exist I guess.

Really sad you wanted to CTB already at 11…

On the other hand, yeah, no gun control would be pretty good news for me

 

[silentcicada]

if you don't mind me asking, what pushed you to try recovery in the first place?

is there anything specific that has kept you going?

Yes, there are a lot of things I enjoy about being alive. I love(d) my job and had ambitions on becoming certified in my field, music, art, my partner.. but mainly my partner and my job.

That really does sound so tiring what you've had to endure, I find it awful how people suffer so much all through no fault of their own in this cruel world. But anyway best wishes.

This hits the nail on the head! It isn't our fault. imo that's what makes it more painful, to not even have a chance. :(
Much love my friend.

 

[SolomonKado]

I hate how similar our problems are because it means someone else has to suffer what I'm going through. I went to Rehab for alcohol where I started to feel better and feel like I had a purpose. Problem is I was changing and the world wasn't. I came back about 45 days later and I found there was another guy sleeping in my bed. They lies!! The fucking LIES!!!

At least here your not alone

 

[silentcicada]

I hate how similar our problems are because it means someone else has to suffer what I'm going through. I went to Rehab for alcohol where I started to feel better and feel like I had a purpose. Problem is I was changing and the world wasn't. I came back about 45 days later and I found there was another guy sleeping in my bed. They lies!! The fucking LIES!!!

At least here your not alone

"Problem is I was changing and the world wasn't." God that's so true!! Like what was the point in me trying to change if I'm depressed for reasons that are beyond myself? Now I have brain damage from my treatments AND I hate my life lmfao.

I'm definitely glad I found this website!