Tired and upset with life

[Abhorrence2]

I have been on crutches for nearly a month now and I just hate it, I cannot even go on walks to reflect and calm myself down whenever I get upset, I just have to stay sat down and wallow with all my emotions

Regardless honestly crutches or not doesn't matter, a wave of depression hit me recently as it's sunk in for me I am literally 21 years old and the copes just aren't working as well anymore, the lack of sex, friends, success, joy and passion in my life is creeping up on me, I thought I already accepted my fate but I am having a huge panic attack and breaking down.

I kind of think I will just kill myself honestly I don't see any other alternative or way out of this hell, my life and fate were sealed long ago. The first thought of suicide I had came at the age of 11 I had my first suicidal thought and since than it's only been getting closer to the day I finally decide to do it, today I nearly ordered the equipment to kill myself since it's a perfect time because my parents are on holiday and I have the house to myself but I am just coping and coping but I don't know how much longer I can cope for.

 

[LaughingGoat]

My question would be when you said you had accepted your fate, do you mean that you feel you'll always lack passion, joy, etc. or the fate of ctb?

 

[sserafim]

dont die