I promise I will try that this won't become another vent about my personal situation and overwhelming emotions.
Through which lense are we observing and interacting with this forum?
This is a question with many possible answers.
Through the lense of nihilists that experience severe suffering on a daily basis and that might have a biased opinion because of that about the nature of this forum?
This perspective (or lense) is often explained by mainstream platforms when they report about this forum.
We are at the same time victims of a negatitivity bias unable to judge our situations and unable to judge the environment we are spending time in.
This is a second order observation. Our perception of the forum is explained and integrated in a narrative that is spinned by a medium. Very rarely do they talk to active members of the forum so that they get first hand information about the forum and the impact on them. Sometimes they let a former member speak when it fits into their narrative.
I have to admit perceiving and thinking about this forum is hard. It is true mental issues come with biases that can distort one's perception. Though, I think many members on here go through the shit life syndrome. And their lives are objectively horrible and agony and just elborating on cognitive biases won't make these facts untrue.
I often talk in a meta perspective about this forum. Maybe I do this too much but I enjoy meta cognitive thinking. Most people have an own opinion about this site. The pros and cons. Everyone has their own biography which shapes one's takes on life and death questions. Moreover, we come from different cultures. Some might experienced a suicide by a loved one. Some have mental others physical conditions. Even though our stories might be quite different we share something we log into this forum more or less regularly. Except for lurkers who just lurk. There is an impetus that drives us. And I think if people say this forum has a negative impact on one's mental health one should probably quit this place. However, I think though that similar to how our stories are hetereogenous this forum also has various different effects on our lives.
I am not sure how to get rid of second order observations of this forum. I don't know whether one acknowledges only the one's that feel the most real in a subjective way. I am not sure whether there are objective takes about the nature of the forum. Many outlets call it pro-death, the forum itself calls it pro-choice. It is also a debate between narratives. And science writes with less certainty about this forum than most media outlets. I am not sure whether one has to evaluate all lenses to see the full picture about this forum. One could argue the journalists that write about this forum don't have the same access to this forum like members. Most people that write about this forum outside this forum never participated in this forum. There were some researchers that posted on Sanctioned Suicide. I would not say only the subjective experiences of SaSu were true. I am not even sure whether the subjective experience of all SaSu members as a collective represents the truth about SaSu. SaSu is in a battle about the truth. We might be biased how we think about this forum because this forum gives us something. And we are always careful what to say about the forum because we fear it could be used against this forum by influencers or media outlets. I don't think the first hand experience of SaSu necessarily represents the truth. The relation to this forum can change within time. By changes in one's life. By changing one's relation to life and death. There are not many people like me who keep posting year after year. Many people say they experience this forum as repetitive. I can see where they are coming from. Though, personally I think I experienced different eras of this forum. And I think the forum implemented some changes to decrease the influence of pro-mortalists and I also tried to contribute to this positive step. However, I think the media platforms also have incentive structures that makes them use moral panic, agitation and emotional sob stories when reporting about this forum. Even though, the media outlets often act like only one perception of this forum was valid. And well with my post I sort of want to say that the full picture is more intricate.
The way we use SaSu is also totally different. The way we approach Sanctioned Suicide is different. I am not sure whether the impact on our lives that this forum has can be objectivied. There are probably objective facts around Sanctioned Suicide. But the big picture is debated. And often the perception is diametrical. ANd there is an argument about whose version is more trustworthy or not.
It is aslo crazy to think how judged we would were in real life if we were open about posting on here. Some people know I am online on suicide forums. And they don't judge me for it. But I think most people would buy into the media narrative after reading one story. We had to defend us in front of family members and co-workers. I have a family that cares. This is rather rare. But even they don't give a fuck about suicide forums and probably don't waste a single thought about it. I told them I visit a suicide forum regularly.
I think the fact we cannot discuss this forum or the topic suicide with that many people also isolates us which is often counterproductive. You have to make sense of all of it, puzzling the pieces together. And often you are all alone with it. I think cutting the connections to other people is not healthy. But I also understand that suicide is not a topic you can discss with anyone. And bad experiences make you even more silent about this issue. Would you be comfortable to discuss with the people you meet on a daily basis this forum? There is also the question would they even care about it? I think in the first place people won't educate themselves. In my personal experience I think most people are not educated on the topic suicide and don't think much about it. They are not emotionally mature enough or in general avoid to think about unpleasant things. Things that are unpleasant and not part of our daily experience often get ignored. Even if people had to educate themselves about this forum they would probably come to final conclusions and condemnations after reading one BBC article or one Youtube video that we are demons of the underworld robbing innocent and precious souls. In real life we are often pretty isolated. And I think it rather bad that many on here cannot openly discuss with others the impact of the forum on them. Something things can happen that are emotionally difficult to process. There is also many different approaches. Some people are scared as hell to use this forum in public. While others browse it openly at work. This might also say a lot about oen's identity. How much this part has to be kept hidden and whether one can integrate suicidality in one's personal persona.
We are observing ourselves observing the forum. You are following my thoughts when I observe the forum and I elaborate how others observe and perceive the forum while highlighting how dificult it is to see clear. Readers of my threads observe my thoughts meandering through the evening observing which imapct my thoughts have on them. We are watching ourselves, how we watch other people that think about the nature of watching other people and what this watching does to us. I am not sure what this says about us. It sounds like solipsism to me. We are all in one bubble. We might be too much in our own heads. But it also can be a comfortable feeling to be in someoen else's head seeing how the thoughts are spinning. Sometimes one recognizes own patterns and becomes reminded one is not all alone with the enormous weight on one's shoulders.
Through which lense are we observing and interacting with this forum?
This is a question with many possible answers.
Through the lense of nihilists that experience severe suffering on a daily basis and that might have a biased opinion because of that about the nature of this forum?
This perspective (or lense) is often explained by mainstream platforms when they report about this forum.
We are at the same time victims of a negatitivity bias unable to judge our situations and unable to judge the environment we are spending time in.
This is a second order observation. Our perception of the forum is explained and integrated in a narrative that is spinned by a medium. Very rarely do they talk to active members of the forum so that they get first hand information about the forum and the impact on them. Sometimes they let a former member speak when it fits into their narrative.
I have to admit perceiving and thinking about this forum is hard. It is true mental issues come with biases that can distort one's perception. Though, I think many members on here go through the shit life syndrome. And their lives are objectively horrible and agony and just elborating on cognitive biases won't make these facts untrue.
I often talk in a meta perspective about this forum. Maybe I do this too much but I enjoy meta cognitive thinking. Most people have an own opinion about this site. The pros and cons. Everyone has their own biography which shapes one's takes on life and death questions. Moreover, we come from different cultures. Some might experienced a suicide by a loved one. Some have mental others physical conditions. Even though our stories might be quite different we share something we log into this forum more or less regularly. Except for lurkers who just lurk. There is an impetus that drives us. And I think if people say this forum has a negative impact on one's mental health one should probably quit this place. However, I think though that similar to how our stories are hetereogenous this forum also has various different effects on our lives.
I am not sure how to get rid of second order observations of this forum. I don't know whether one acknowledges only the one's that feel the most real in a subjective way. I am not sure whether there are objective takes about the nature of the forum. Many outlets call it pro-death, the forum itself calls it pro-choice. It is also a debate between narratives. And science writes with less certainty about this forum than most media outlets. I am not sure whether one has to evaluate all lenses to see the full picture about this forum. One could argue the journalists that write about this forum don't have the same access to this forum like members. Most people that write about this forum outside this forum never participated in this forum. There were some researchers that posted on Sanctioned Suicide. I would not say only the subjective experiences of SaSu were true. I am not even sure whether the subjective experience of all SaSu members as a collective represents the truth about SaSu. SaSu is in a battle about the truth. We might be biased how we think about this forum because this forum gives us something. And we are always careful what to say about the forum because we fear it could be used against this forum by influencers or media outlets. I don't think the first hand experience of SaSu necessarily represents the truth. The relation to this forum can change within time. By changes in one's life. By changing one's relation to life and death. There are not many people like me who keep posting year after year. Many people say they experience this forum as repetitive. I can see where they are coming from. Though, personally I think I experienced different eras of this forum. And I think the forum implemented some changes to decrease the influence of pro-mortalists and I also tried to contribute to this positive step. However, I think the media platforms also have incentive structures that makes them use moral panic, agitation and emotional sob stories when reporting about this forum. Even though, the media outlets often act like only one perception of this forum was valid. And well with my post I sort of want to say that the full picture is more intricate.
The way we use SaSu is also totally different. The way we approach Sanctioned Suicide is different. I am not sure whether the impact on our lives that this forum has can be objectivied. There are probably objective facts around Sanctioned Suicide. But the big picture is debated. And often the perception is diametrical. ANd there is an argument about whose version is more trustworthy or not.
It is aslo crazy to think how judged we would were in real life if we were open about posting on here. Some people know I am online on suicide forums. And they don't judge me for it. But I think most people would buy into the media narrative after reading one story. We had to defend us in front of family members and co-workers. I have a family that cares. This is rather rare. But even they don't give a fuck about suicide forums and probably don't waste a single thought about it. I told them I visit a suicide forum regularly.
I think the fact we cannot discuss this forum or the topic suicide with that many people also isolates us which is often counterproductive. You have to make sense of all of it, puzzling the pieces together. And often you are all alone with it. I think cutting the connections to other people is not healthy. But I also understand that suicide is not a topic you can discss with anyone. And bad experiences make you even more silent about this issue. Would you be comfortable to discuss with the people you meet on a daily basis this forum? There is also the question would they even care about it? I think in the first place people won't educate themselves. In my personal experience I think most people are not educated on the topic suicide and don't think much about it. They are not emotionally mature enough or in general avoid to think about unpleasant things. Things that are unpleasant and not part of our daily experience often get ignored. Even if people had to educate themselves about this forum they would probably come to final conclusions and condemnations after reading one BBC article or one Youtube video that we are demons of the underworld robbing innocent and precious souls. In real life we are often pretty isolated. And I think it rather bad that many on here cannot openly discuss with others the impact of the forum on them. Something things can happen that are emotionally difficult to process. There is also many different approaches. Some people are scared as hell to use this forum in public. While others browse it openly at work. This might also say a lot about oen's identity. How much this part has to be kept hidden and whether one can integrate suicidality in one's personal persona.
We are observing ourselves observing the forum. You are following my thoughts when I observe the forum and I elaborate how others observe and perceive the forum while highlighting how dificult it is to see clear. Readers of my threads observe my thoughts meandering through the evening observing which imapct my thoughts have on them. We are watching ourselves, how we watch other people that think about the nature of watching other people and what this watching does to us. I am not sure what this says about us. It sounds like solipsism to me. We are all in one bubble. We might be too much in our own heads. But it also can be a comfortable feeling to be in someoen else's head seeing how the thoughts are spinning. Sometimes one recognizes own patterns and becomes reminded one is not all alone with the enormous weight on one's shoulders.
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