Discussion Thoughts on having children

[Leshen]

I'm an antinatalist. I don't know how anyone can look this world and go "yep, this is a perfect place to bring a child into!".
It's insanity.

 

[Shinkansen]

never ever children.
in this world, my son would be yet another slave to this cold and sick society: he will not be happy, he will not be satisfied, he will not be able to make dreams come true, he will only have to work hard like a honeybee to satisfy a richer and more powerful man.

this is a world where only money and work count, nobody cares if you are depressed, dissatisfied or disappointed, it's a huge prison without bars, a world like this does not deserve further children.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

As sick as I am I still feel an urge to reproduce. It's a strong instinct.

 

[Raminiki]

A lot of people are saying it's the choice of the parents and the choice of the children.

I recall reading somewhere that life, or humanity, has too much choice, and because of that we're lost in indecision and irresponsibility. Since we in the west have overcome natural selection, and no longer make choices based on survival, we can do whatever we want within the bounds of the law, and sometimes outwith it. That freedom of choice is why society is strained, overburdened, overpopulated, and why the world is buckling beneath us.

You are entitled to your choice insofar as it does not affect or impose upon the choice of another. But we don't tend to follow that advice at the best of times.

I've chosen not to have children for many reasons. Genetic mental illness is one of the main ones. It. Ends. With. Me. I craft my whole will and stubbornness around that pillar.

 

[flyaway]

I would never have children. My genes are too bad to reproduce plus the world is such a bad place to live in. The current situation is the perfect proof of this and it will only get worse in the future, that's for sure. I may be suffering, but at least I'll do what depends on me so that no other human being goes through the same miserable existence I don't want to be part of.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Beware that this is an emotive topic!

Its not like anyone will ever want to have children with me anyway, but I wouldn't want any because they'd be at too high a risk of mental illness. I wouldn't wish this hell upon anyone.

 

[color_me_gone]

@flyaway you said it perfectly for me too.
It's a double whammy, bad genes to start with, plus a world you wouldn't want to bring a normal person into.

 

[Crazy Squirrel]

Let's not forget that from a biological, evolutionary standpoint, our primary goal in existence is to pass on our genetic material. Putting aside emotional attachments and societal expectations, it's still "natural" for us to want to have children.

Don't worry, I couldn't ever forget that, since "...but, but, muh GENES!!!!!" is the top come back from breeders.

 

[JoeFailure]

I guess for me it was never about passing on my genes. I was always totally cool with adoption, and actually wanted to go that route to help save a child that was starving or didn't have parents.

But with my mental issues I don't think I'm fit to be a parent. It sucks because I've always loved kids. That's the part that is attractive about "having" kids to me, is that love and the wonder you see from kids...and I guess you kind of just have to hope that they have a good life and never have to peek behind the curtain, as many get to do.

It still hurts because I think I could have been a good dad, but I'm somewhat at peace with it now.

 

[lostangel]

World is overpopulating and I don't think it's worth it to bring someone in this world without consent.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

If I only knew then what I know now, I would never have kids. My miserable life and brought kids into this mire and have a harder life due to sickness that will never go away. I hate myself for ever thinking that having children would be a good idea.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Don't worry, I couldn't ever forget that, since "...but, but, muh GENES!!!!!" is the top come back from breeders.

Just to be clear, I'm not a breeder. (I'm gay and married to another man. Not that I couldn't physically breed, but... ya know... not likely!) Nor do I subscribe to the idea that passing on our genes is what's important. I think given how humanity has evolved, there are much more important things to consider. But I don't fault people for wanting to have children. It can be difficult to fight biology.

I do wish I could adopt, though. There are so many children in this world without a home or a caring family. Wish I could be that for some child.

 

[Crazy Squirrel]

Just to be clear, I'm not a breeder. (I'm gay and married to another man. Not that I couldn't physically breed, but... ya know... not likely!) Nor do I subscribe to the idea that passing on our genes is what's important. I think given how humanity has evolved, there are much more important things to consider. But I don't fault people for wanting to have children. It can be difficult to fight biology.

I do wish I could adopt, though. There are so many children in this world without a home or a caring family. Wish I could be that for some child.

Whew, that's good to know -- when I saw that you responded to my post, I was afraid I was gonna get stuck in yet another pointless go-round. Ha ha, being on this site, at least you probably wouldn't resort to telling me to kill myself, like many breeders do when they don't like what I'm saying but they don't have the intelligence to come up with any kind of a valid refute to my argument!

Yes, I always advocate for adoption! Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people who would love to adopt can't, for various reasons, and that's a real shame.

 

[Lost Girl xx]

Um no, I never want to have children. I'm not a sadist. Anyone brought into this world with my genetics is born to suffer.

 

[Meditation guide]

There is no way could I bring children into this world. It's horrible here.

it's still "natural" for us to want to have children.

For you maybe but not for me and lots of others.

 

[After The End]

Having children is not an option for people in my position. Not that I care about them being, 'mine,' but it doesn't matter. I can't afford to lease a family. The state makes for a more lucrative baby-daddy for those who move in my circles.

 

[SoIntoYou]

The idea of bringing an innocent child to this world horrifies me... even the highest qualities of life are still low quality in a bigger picture hence I never became serious in any of my relationships ... my best friend died of cancer within 5-6 months and I witnessed what his mom went through ... there is an old saying "lucky ones are those never been born"


I didn't even know "antinatalism" exists as an ideology up until a few months ago I guess that goes hand in hand with my belief on birth and procreation.

It's a bit of a conundrum, because in order to justify having children, the world needs to get better. But, in order for the world to get better, there needs to be slow, generational change. How can you do that without having children? I think our best bet is to require a license to have children, which includes financial requirements and personality tests, among other things.

 

[Theodora]

I loved kids I loved playing with my little brother it was so much fun to be able to have fun with him !! He's growing up and it sucks and he's changed .. so I do want my own kids and teach them how to be kind and such but .. I know I'm not capable of looking after them when I can hardly do it myself .. I don't cook or clean I'm fucking dumb and I can't even clean my room ..

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

To all the posters in this thread, thank you for not turning it into another shit show like that weird 'breeders' thread. You know, how we hate the breeders and everyone should die and I get to make that decision because, well, anti-natalist? This is a very mature thread on a sensitive topic that, as a parent, I'd love to discuss.

In my view, everyone has a choice to make and deserves the right to make that choice. Just because you can have kids doesn't mean you should. I also believe that we need to let our kids grow and make the choice for themselves. Coercing a child to accept sterilization is wrong, it is way too major a decision.

 

[redbutterfly]

i would never want to have children because of this. maybe adopt one if i ever feel better..

 

[Sunshine]

Only people with a history of stable mental health and good genetics should have children. If at all.

 

[existenceispain88]

I'm an efilist/antinatalist and I think that procreation is the biggest crime.

 

[inactive]

I've firmly subscribed to antinatalism/efilism (also veganism) for years now. The knowledge that I did not drag a new sentient being into this shithole will grant me tremendous peace at death.

 

[Blackjack999999]

No fucking way. I can barely keep my self sane and safe. Let alone two others.

 

[rhiino]

I think our best bet is to require a license to have children, which includes financial requirements and personality tests, among other things.

Ah well, that would open doors for malpractice big time. It was best when nature decided who was strong and healthy enough to have children.

 

[SoIntoYou]

Ah well, that would open doors for malpractice big time. It was best when nature decided who was strong and healthy enough to have children.

Um, your survival of the fittest argument is the reason why the world is so fucked up in the first place. As for the malpractice concern, you've peaked my interest. What do you think would happen?

 

[rhiino]

As for the malpractice concern, you've peaked my interest. What do you think would happen?

Who should decide what the criteria for a "license to have children" be? What is excluded and what is not? In our western society that would probably result in rich pricks that trash the environment with their wasteful lifestyle, enslave people in third world countries with their money and have an asshole personality but "good" genes and much money having the right to get children, but kindhearted people with a very basic life do not.

Malpractice is everywhere, I don't know how you cannot see that it would not work.

Um, your survival of the fittest argument is the reason why the world is so fucked up in the first place. As for the malpractice concern, you've peaked my interest. What do you think would happen?

How do you come to that conclusion? Long ago when survival of the fittest still applied people were happy, as animals living in nature are. As the world slowly got so developed that it applied less and less the world got fucked up more and more and here we are: Today survival of the fittest is gone, it is more survival of the most ruthless or maybe even survival of everybody for the sake of limited suffering short-term, even if it creates far more suffering long term.

 

[checkouttime]

@rhino Who should decide what the criteria for a "license to have children" be? What is excluded and what is not?

spot on my friend!!!, unless people are f@kin angels they can't decide what another should or shouldn't do. and especially people sat behind a computer screen and don't know what the other persons situation etc is.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I think it's a very good idea if you have healthy genes and very bad idea if you don't. Healthy people who choose not to procreate and unhealthy people who do choose to procreate are of the utmost of selfish imho

It's a bit of a conundrum, because in order to justify having children, the world needs to get better. But, in order for the world to get better, there needs to be slow, generational change. How can you do that without having children? I think our best bet is to require a license to have children, which includes financial requirements and personality tests, among other things.

Society is improving technologically but it is deteriorating socially. I really believe there is no fixing it at this point, it has gone terminal. Just watch it burn, that's all one can do.

 

[checkouttime]

Society is improving technologically but it is deteriorating socially. I really believe there is no fixing it at this point, it has gone terminal.

when i was with my ex and we used to goto restraunts and bars, we used to laugh at how many people were sat with phones in hand opposite other(i suspect on social media's). no conversation whatsoever. i wonder if they actually had anything in common at all.