My long distance boyfriend of 3 years who is full of love, can't do no harm just visited me for a week, and tomorrow he's going back to his state. We don't see each other very often, in fact we didn't until last year came around. I feel very upset because even though I'm creating great loving memories with him, I keep on thinking about suicide. Now that he's stay is starting to end and my psychiatric break from university is ending as well on the exact same days I just feel that I'm back to thinking about CTB like it's the top priority on my mind, and it's already bad enough that I get physical pain thinking about it when I'm with someone I love and doing activities that are fun. I've got to admit I always thought that when I'm with him, his presence will feel cathartic to me as if he can take away my negative emotions. But now it's destroying me because despite my promises of marrying him my heart always sinks because I know that CTB is the only thing on my mind most of the time
He knows about this site through mentions of it online, and he confronted me while holding me in my bed that he's worried — it hurts me because I can't seem to change my mind about CTBing despite all of his love.
I can't even begin to talk about my father, not enough words for it
I couldn't stand the pain
He knows about this site through mentions of it online, and he confronted me while holding me in my bed that he's worried — it hurts me because I can't seem to change my mind about CTBing despite all of his love.
I can't even begin to talk about my father, not enough words for it
I couldn't stand the pain
