Thoughts after SN order

[cazza82]

What are everyone's thoughts and feelings after they have ordered SN like how do you feel inside. Personally I don't know how I feel my drugs worker knows about my plan and all the guilt tripping has started about how can I leave my son what would happen to him how he would feel. But weirdly I feel like this is kinda for him to as I've just became a burden to everybody around me. The fact I can't get better faster even though I've tried. All of a sudden I have these professionals wanting to help but where were they a month ago when I was practically begging for there help. To little to late

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I haven't received my packaged, but for me, ordering felt like a relief on my end of years of pain and sadness…

I understand guilt tripping and the affects of it as I've been abused and dealing with such turmoils for years and despite how badly parted it feels to do this to others who may care, it makes me feel like this is the one thing that truly does care about me as I don't truly know what is real and have had so many traumatic experiences, and I wouldn't have the words to explain it fully if I didn't go through these, as I was also pro choice since I was very young and would perhaps state another mindset into this, but that's just what it is…

I feel utter relief and peace from my choice, and it will be peaceful much sooner from here on out for me

Also, I truly am deeply sorry you are on the cage with three hard hitting thoughts… I truly wish I knew what could be done :((
Perhaps, journaling? But truly, find a friend here who won't make what your drug dealer did to you, and equally, your son… how old is he? I truly hope it doesn't ever revolve anyone who will be hurt by our choices, but all things that has also happens… sadly never ends the cycle of torment and pain one feel after getting hurt and wish family members weren't involved much into these situations :(( the hurt of this world is so real and why so badly I wanna leave the pain it carries… it's so much for me to deal with realistically because no one gets their happy ending…

 

[cazza82]

I haven't received my packaged, but for me, ordering felt like a relief on my end of years of pain and sadness…

I understand guilt tripping and the affects of it as I've been abused and dealing with such turmoils for years and despite how badly parted it feels to do this to others who may care, it makes me feel like this is the one thing that truly does care about me as I don't truly know what is real and have had so many traumatic experiences, and I wouldn't have the words to explain it fully if I didn't go through these, as I was also pro choice since I was very young and would perhaps state another mindset into this, but that's just what it is…

I feel utter relief and peace from my choice, and it will be peaceful much sooner from here on out for me

Also, I truly am deeply sorry you are on the cage with three hard hitting thoughts… I truly wish I knew what could be done :((
Perhaps, journaling? But truly, find a friend here who won't make what your drug dealer did to you, and equally, your son… how old is he? I truly hope it doesn't ever revolve anyone who will be hurt by our choices, but all things that has also happens… sadly never ends the cycle of torment and pain one feel after getting hurt and wish family members weren't involved much into these situations :(( the hurt of this world is so real and why so badly I wanna leave the pain it carries… it's so much for me to deal with realistically because no one gets their happy ending…

My son just turned 6 in December sorry I meant my drugs counsellor knows not drug dealer

 

[areyousafe??]

I was relieved, and weirdly happy.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

My son just turned 6 in December sorry I meant my drugs counsellor knows not drug dealer

Oh, has much context hehe. And oh gosh… he will forever feel that deep within his soul that he's to blame somehow while he lives to forget the incident of the past. Um, maybe have a third opinion about your choice but it's at the end your choice, after all. I hope you find the happiness you seek and are looking for

 

[howunfortunateforme]

My son just turned 6 in December sorry I meant my drugs counsellor knows not drug dealer

My daughter is 6 but I have severe neurolkk on gical issues and pain and need to go. It's so sad it didn't have to be tbis way

 

[cazza82]

My daughter is 6 but I have severe neurolkk on gical issues and pain and need to go. It's so sad it didn't have to be tbis way

I begged for help from professionals for months now I've given up all of a sudden they all want to help me when it's to late as far as I'm concerned and their guilt tripping me on leaving my son behind