Thought of parents

[FTL.Wanderer]

But if there is truly no reason to continue, IMO parents are not a factor. You can't live for them.

Exactly. Why be guilted into living for anyone else when no one else, so our culture tells us, should be guilted into doing anything for us? Not to mention it's always crammed down our throats that we're responsible for ourselves. Except, of course, when it comes to deciding whether to live or not.

 

[Mrt]

Here are some points:

1. they are grown up people, with even more experience then you. If you are big enough to handle suicide, they are big enough to handle it also.
2. they are at least to some degree part of the reasons. Even by giving you birth in the first place, but also providing you the starting conditions for your life. My situation was not that terrible, but not great either. Shitty country, poor family, single mom, bullied in school, lack of communication... It's really not that surprising it came to this...
3. If you stay alive, what it is really the benefit for your parent(s)? I can't find a good woman, create a family, make my mom happy... I gave up also on the idea to make a lot of money, there is just so much corruption in this world... People are simple creatures, there is no topics left to really talk about. So I actually see it as a good thing, to leave for her what I've saved so far, so she can live the rest of her life without thinking for physical needs.
4. Will your death really be such a drama? Considering my empty life, I don't think it provides any benefit to my parent(s). There will be initial shock, sure, but then, it may be more peaceful, since they don't need to think what I should do with my life any more... They can focus on themselves, and stop concerning with me. I think it's a sign of egocentrism to think everything spins around us, and our parents can't have a better life on their own...

So it really depends on how bad your situation is. If you have a semi-normal life, it's always tough to end it, and maybe you should really consider alternatives. But if there is truly no reason to continue, IMO parents are not a factor. You can't live for them, it should be the opposite, and if you can't live for yourself, make them proud, your existence as a vegetable doesn't help them in any way...

Thanks a lot.. these are some really good points.

 

[GeorgeJL]

How to overcome the thought of "how parents would feel after I am gone".

Yeah tell them you want to take your life when your an old man. And see how they react.

 

[dandan]

I feel you guys...

I have had the opportunity of telling my Dad I want to die.... for this reason he doesn't speaks to me anymore.

Also my mom... I woked up writing her a message how doesnt matter how we dont speak much... I love them ( she and my brother, and my brothers wife)

She answered with a message that she hopes and declares I find a solution for my feelings, and that she doesnt call me because she feels its not possitive, that I have my issues, but that she's always there for me.

My mother is the hardest part of it all! She´s done everything for me, she would even give her life for me to be Ok.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I feel you guys...

I have had the opportunity of telling my Dad I want to die.... for this reason he doesn't speaks to me anymore.

Also my mom... I woked up writing her a message how doesnt matter how we dont speak much... I love them ( she and my brother, and my brothers wife)

She answered with a message that she hopes and declares I find a solution for my feelings, and that she doesnt call me because she feels its not possitive, that I have my issues, but that she's always there for me.

My mother is the hardest part of it all! She´s done everything for me, she would even give her life for me to be Ok.

Did I misread what you wrote? You told your dad you're suicidal and he responded by ... not speaking to you anymore??? And when you told your mom how you feel she ... justified her alienating you by criticizing you for being "not positive"? Where am I making the mistakes? Because if I read you right, this just serves to underscore many people's unpreparedness for parenting. Parents choose to bring children into existence. They lose the right to abandon their children the moment those children are born. Sorry for your pain, man. I really hope I read you wrong.

 

[dandan]

You told your dad you're suicidal and he responded by ... not speaking to you anymore??? And when you told your mom how you feel she ... justified her alienating you by criticizing you for being "not positive"? Where am I making the mistakes?

My dad wont speak to me anymore.....
My mom loves me and hopes I get better... she will always be there for me... but she feels that I should contact her, because when she contacts / call me, she feels she makes me feels worst that I already am.. and thats my fault... I always tell her how bad im feeling, but that because she asks ! I just cant lie... because if I lie, she would think im getting better , and im really not

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

My dad wont speak to me anymore.....
My mom loves me and hopes I get better... she will always be there for me... but she feels that I should contact her, because when she contacts / call me, she feels she makes me feels worst that I already am.. and thats my fault... I always tell her how bad im feeling, but that because she asks ! I just cant lie... because if I lie, she would think im getting better , and im really not

Thanks for your honesty. That's a very tough situation--being loved (mom) but feeling responsible for some of the suffering of the one who loves you. I agree that lying even to keep others happy is extremely hard and painful. Man, hope something really good happens for you soon.