Those who have attempted and survived

[GT Darkarage]

What method are you considering now?

Why the shame? Friends and family?

Hope this time I do it right.
Yes ashamed because I was harming my family.
I'm considering something harder. Here poison ( by pesticides) / or fertilizers are commonly used. Sure it will be painful. But a minimal dose maybe.

Tried to find sn once, but I only got nitrate. It was included in my mix the first attempt. Didn't worked.

Finally one that looks easier is PSH (partial suspension). It is just that I'm a person with good condition right now.

I'm not sure if psh will work if I'm good at exercise. I mean, can I guarantee I will not scape?

 

[Passenger4224]

(Please excuse the bad grammar)

I've attempted enough times that I've lost count. Once, I woke up in the hospital a week after I overdosed. I was apparently having constant seizures for a week and was psychotic and unable to control bodily functions due to the drugs. I don't remember a thing. I thought it was a sign that everything would be okay. Same with when I attempted to hang myself once, and I somehow woke up hours later on the floor, the belt still around my neck but untied from the ceiling, and also all the other times I've tried to hang myself, but the ligature was too long to do full suspension (what I wanted to do, as I discovered that partial suspension just doesn't work for me). Other times, I've failed suicide attempts (drowning, partial suspension, more overdoses and more full suspension), and I got annoyed and tried again as soon as I could.

My family says I shouldn't still be on this planet due to all the attempts and hospitalizations, and I agree. It pisses me off that I'm still here. I am getting ready to purchase SN, but I'm scared that it somehow won't work (I'm starting to think I'm cursed or something and am unable to die. I know that sounds stupid and delusional to think I'm immortal, but it feels like the only explanation).

How long ago was it when you did your first attempt? Did you try again right after or did you typically wait a while?

To attempt so many times is incredibly courageous. I know there is a chance this will be me as well, so I am trying to mentally prepare.

 

[DoomsdayCTB]

I tried the LONG ways because I had no access to guns, exit bags, and definitely didn't know about SN back then. Garage and car-heat death. They took too long. The first I did begin to get dizzy and out of it, but it was taking wayyyy too long to pass out (not like the movies lol), my SI made me GTFO the car. Car-heat death, similarly I was in that bitch for about 40 minutes sweating my ass off, crying, feeling so sorry for myself, on the weird edge of a heat exhaustion spell, drenched in sweat...still not dead. Couldn't take the heat anymore, so I drove off eventually. There's a guy that recently hmm held his breath under weather some record broke recently, how he describes it, is exactly how I felt doing that car heat stuff. I do not recc.that method at all. I feel awful for children that die that way.

Now that you're asking me in 2026 and this was maybe 15 years ago and all this shit has happened, I guess I do regret not choosing a faster method. I could've avoided all this shit. I lived some more, but I still lost everything. Yes, a bit of regret.

 

[k1dd0]

Regret that it didn't work, especially because some kid died soon after by the same thing (only it was an accident) and it was all over the news. I'm longing for that day again wishing so hard that it had worked so I wouldn't have had to live through all the crap I have gone through since then. Anger that it's harder to try again because my nervous system is on high alert ever since. And then the fact that there is no help available even after that, that I don't get access to treatment or support. I'm scared of failing again but I can't wait until I'm gone. I just live life recklessly hoping to die, while trying to build a solid plan for the next time I feel I am ready to try again.

 

[litany_of_thoughts]

I think I thought nothing about it for a really long time, but a lot of my friends/family kind of buried it but in retrospect. I do wish it worked. I still joke (with people that understand) that I'm still in a coma and do the whole 'this lamp looks weird' bit. I do wish it worked but clearly I either didn't try hard enough or it just wasn't my time to go. pretty fuckin funny to me though

 

[zkk]

You tried the charcoal in your room and the pipe to cars exhaust? Or were these separate attempts? I'm curious about the charcoal grill. Can you elaborate on that?

At the same time...my plan was to get as much CO in my system as fast I could....took some effort to get the grill in my room but I did eventually....the rest was fairly easy...poured some kerosene on the charcoal and lit the thing...passed the pipe through my bedroom window and sealed everything with duct tape. The charcoal was fully lit by the time I was done and the room had started to feel heavy so, I quickly wore the mask and laid on my bed.