Venting this week is an absolute shit sandwich.

[synthcadia]

this week has made me contemplate ctb again + i am feeling a current trauma response.

tuesday i get into a car accident and i think my car is totaled.
i weigh more than i have ever weighed in my life.
if my car is totaled then that will make me want to ctb. like i am crying over my car like my relative is dying.
and i think i'm going to eat less and exercise more so i stop being so fucking fat. i can lose 6 pounds.
i used to be so pretty. what happened?
i am in the top 7.5% of my class, but it's not enough. i want to be smart AND pretty, not smart and an ugly boar again.
i think i'm going to pretend i have no medicine left because THEN i will lose weight bc of such slim food choices.
maybe i'll lose weight when i'm less stressed and maybe it's hormones right now.
but i fucking hate myself constantly because i'm a hideous monster and not good enough.
i don't think my partner would miss me.
i am angry at everyone and i want to stop eating so i can be thin.
but these are first world problems, they don't matter. there is a genocide in the drc and here i am bitching.
a shitty person like me shouldn't deserve to live.

if anyone has weight loss tips, pls tell me. i'm trying to have steady exercise rn + eat healthier + eat less.

 

[Spoonful]

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, I hope your car ends up being relatively alright.

As for weight loss tips you could start with walking for a set amount of time each day to ease yourself into things and then start jogging/running. Cardio is the best type of exercise when it comes to weight loss because it burns the most calories. Losing weight comes down to calories in, calories out for the most part. There are other factors at play like health conditions and metabolism but calorie intake and expenditure are key.

Also wanted to say you should try not to be so hard on yourself. I obviously have no idea how you look but I doubt it resembles an ugly boar

 

[synthcadia]

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, I hope your car ends up being relatively alright.

As for weight loss tips you could start with walking for a set amount of time each day to ease yourself into things and then start jogging/running. Cardio is the best type of exercise when it comes to weight loss because it burns the most calories. Losing weight comes down to calories in, calories out for the most part. There are other factors at play like health conditions and metabolism but calorie intake and expenditure are key.

Also wanted to say you should try not to be so hard on yourself. I obviously have no idea how you look but I doubt it resembles an ugly boar

thank you for this. my car is a 2001 lexus, and i think it'll cost at least 5k for repairs… but i pray that i can have it repaired.

i'll try that. it's harder during the week bc school and work but i'll try to do 30 minutes of walking + 30 minutes of biking/dancing and some jump rope.

and also thank you. idk, recently i've just realized what a horrible and gross human being i am. i feel like a monster.

 

[Spoonful]

thank you for this. my car is a 2001 lexus, and i think it'll cost at least 5k for repairs… but i pray that i can have it repaired.

i'll try that. it's harder during the week bc school and work but i'll try to do 30 minutes of walking + 30 minutes of biking/dancing and some jump rope.

and also thank you. idk, recently i've just realized what a horrible and gross human being i am. i feel like a monster.

You're not alone with that feeling, there are days where I feel like a grimy goblin and avoid looking at myself in the mirror. Ultimately though it shouldn't matter how anybody looks, we're all human and it's messed up to judge people for looking a certain way.

That's a solid plan, plenty of calories are gonna get burnt if you stick to that. Don't put too much pressure on yourself though if there are days where you're too tired to do the full routine just get some exercise in. Rest is really important

I really do hope it all works out with your car