Venting This really f***ing sucks

[Ashe]

It's so hard to keep grasping at any reason to keep going when I hold no love for myself even though I'm a deeply compassionate person for others in my life. If I could ever just ask my creator one question then it would be why I was made this way. Why is it that I can feel love for someone else but when it comes to myself I would rather see myself dead?

I'm way to sober for any of these thoughts, I just want to be normal for once. I want to be free.

 

[Lost_my_soul]

If there was a creator, I wonder how he keeps track of these many people.

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

It's so hard to keep grasping at any reason to keep going when I hold no love for myself even though I'm a deeply compassionate person for others in my life. If I could ever just ask my creator one question then it would be why I was made this way. Why is it that I can feel love for someone else but when it comes to myself I would rather see myself dead?

I'm way to sober for any of these thoughts, I just want to be normal for once. I want to be fr

I hear ya, I love my wife and kids so much. They would be so sad. But I have to keep reminding myself time heals everything. My wife could re-marry, my kids will have a long life to forget about their selfish cowardly father CTB'ing himself. If I could have a glimpse of 15/20 years in the future and they're alive and well, I would end it now.