Venting This kid I knew when I was 14 who was literally just THAT annoying and even just thinking about him to this day makes me FURIOUS...irrational I know..

[ConfusedHurting2632]

TL;DR At the bottom.

If I need to state the obvious, yes, I know it's not good to fixate on the past. I also know that the kid was also 14, so he was just a kid as well, kids do stupid things. And I do also feel quite sorry overall for the kid himself. He was just EXTREMELY desperate to fit in and it showed really hard. And I also know that these days he might be a completely different person. But this post is more about irrational feelings. There are some things that just stick to my mind forever no matter what. And yes, I am in therapy and taking meds, but that still doesn't remove this stuff from my mind.

ANYWAY though...this was back in 8th grade, middle school, I was 14, so was this other kid. He had the same name as me. I was talking to someone and they said: "Wow! Your name is the same as this other kid! I hate him so much! He's so fucking annoying!" I thought this person was being hyperbolic. At lunch I sat at a table with some acquaintances/casual friends of mine. About 5 people overall counting me. All relatively nerdy people. Then one day the kid with the same name as me came to our table, introduced himself. No idea why. Maybe he just thought we looked more "approachable" than most of the other tables with "jocks" and "normal kids?" Not sure.

Then I was like: "So this is the guy huh. How bad could he possibly be?" And I found out FAST...

For beginners, this part is not 100% his fault, but his voice was EXTREMELY high pitched. Like VERY. Based on his voice I don't think he had even hit puberty? But either way, this next part where it IS his fault. He used to make very many annoying sounds with his mouth. He liked to randomly scream and screech at the top of his lungs. And he thought it was absolutely hilarious. He would go: "What the hell that was so fucking funny guys who are none of you laughing?!" And start to get desperate, sad, and angry all at the same time over people not finding it funny.

This next part, not his fault at all actually, he had a VERY punchable face. I don't incite violence, and I didn't wanna see him physically hurt or anything, but he had the literal definition of what people call a punchable face. Like no one hated him BECAUSE of his face but with how annoying he was his face only added on to it.

Then...for some reason he was obsessed with me just because we had the same name. Calling me "brother" and "bestie" and shit like that even though I barely talked to him and avoided him whenever I could. Probably because I was the most nerdy and unpopular kid besides him, but either way he could NOT take a fucking hint.

Then...he used to say some weird ass stuff that were not even funny. Often sexual in nature. Like how he wishes he could install a camera in the girl's bathrooms or girl's locker rooms to just "watch the girls" in there. Or how he wishes he could hide underneath the floor to get a look at a girl's undies when they were wearing skirts or dresses, "even better if she's not wearing any undies." Or how we would take (insert popular fictional female character here, be it Wonder Woman, Sailor Moon, Sakura from Naruto, Misty from Pokemon, etc) to his basement, tie her up, take off all her clothes, and basically just rape her. For the record he fortunately did not ACTUALLY sexually harass any girls, but I still did not wanna hear about this weird shit, and he kept bringing it up anyway. I would start walking faster to try to avoid him yet he kept following me.

THEN...despite him being extremely unpopular and desperate to fit in, he was also legitimately ARROGANT towards people. Like when you didn't agree with something he said he would get sad and mad at the same time, red faced, looking like he was gonna explode in both anger and tears, etc. And he would make like really shitty drawings and write shitty rap song lyrics shoving them in people's faces going "THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD ISN'T IT" and when people disagreed he would borderline have a mental breakdown. And he would often go "I thought I was talking to a bunch of smart people not a bunch of dumb assholes with no taste!"

Then, for some reason he was really desperate about forcing this Asian kid at our table who really didn't like him to like him. Not even sure why, cuz literally no one liked him, and the Asian kid just simply ignored him instead of doing anything mean. And then one day when the Asian kid wasn't there...I mentioned he's Asian for a reason, cuz it's about to be relevant...I don't wanna say the Asian kid's real name, but let's call him a really common generic name like "John"...but either way, the kid pulled his eyes back really hard to try to make them "look slant/look Asian" or whatever, and began chanting in a really annoying fake Asian accent: "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M JOHN LOOK AT ME I'M JOHN CHING CHONG CHING CHONG I'M JOHN I'M JOHN!" And everyone (including me) just got up and left the table, leaving him by himself.

Then another thing, not 100% his fault, but he brought another kid to the lunch table who was ALMOST as annoying as he was. That other kid just simply kept saying "I GOT SHOT" every single day several times a day. Obviously he can't control what the other kid does, but I find it funny how he found someone almost as bad as him.

And overall...yeah. That's about it that I can remember. If I tried really hard I could remember even more, but I'm not sure I want to, lol.

But hey, at the very least I never saw him again after 8th grade! I only had to deal with him for one year! And I don't think he even went to the same high school either!

All things considered, I do feel somewhat bad for him looking bad. It's obvious he was VERY desperate to fit in. And I'm not one to diagnose people, but looking back he seemed like he could've had something like Autism, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), or something along those lines. Perhaps I'm way off track but he did seem to have some sort of disorder/illness that made it hard for him to socialize. Perhaps he said absurd stuff cuz he didn't understand why they were unacceptable things to say. He also seemed to be sensitive to rejection, often common with BPD and NPD, as when people didn't agree with him his reactions were pretty extreme.

But either way, he was really unpleasant to deal with, and it left a mark in my memory.

TL;DR Basically there was this kid who no one liked, tried way too hard to fit in, often screeched and made noises with his high pitched voice that made our ears hurt, would often say some really weird sexual stuff like that he wanted to put cameras in the girl's bathrooms and watch, got really arrogant and desperate when someone didn't agree with him on something, mocked a kid for being Asian because said kid ignored him, acted like we were "brothers" all because we had the same name even though I barely talked to him, etc. I do somewhat feel sorry for him looking back, but he was still insufferable.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you wonder where he is now? Whether he changed? Whether he's depressed? We've probably all done some cringe things to try to fit in. It can be weird though, when it's obvious someone is so disliked or offensive but they don't seem to even realise.

I think you can feel pity for someone but, still find them offensive or, even toxic. I suppose the kind thing to do would be to try to understand them and, still be there for them. Sometimes though, I think we need to protect ourselves if they are cruel.

I think it's interesting though. The friend groups that form. You get the elite, cool set. I was never one of those. But, what makes some people so desirable? I guess looks, intelligence, wealth maybe. School was horrible though. I guess most people can remember the kid that was always picked on.

I can remember a guy at college age that people seemed to think was weird. It would feel like he'd come out with deliberately weird statements though- to shock. *NSFW bit* He once outright told my friend she kept giving him erections. I think it is interesting when some people play on their own 'weird' image.

It's interesting to observe our own feelings. Children can be very cruel and blunt. It's interesting really because, I suppose it's a 'natural' thing that's evolved. Animals will turn on the sick in their herd sometimes. It's cruel but, it happens. We're taught that it's cruel and wrong to ostracize others. But then, in some circumstances, we still find reasons to do it. Usually if they are cruel themselves. Then, it seems more acceptible to 'hate' them.