KIRBYGHOST
Turnt Member
- Dec 9, 2023
- 42
U Wanna Know What Really Gets on My Nerves Ladies & Gentlemen? That Satan-forsaken Piece of Fiery Catshit Game, Super Mario Bros. Yeah, I Said It. It's a Sisterfucking Disaster and I Can't Believe People Actually Like It.
First of All, the Controls Are Absolute Garbage. Mario Moves Like He's Got Lead Weights Attached to His Shoes. And Don't Even Get Me Started on the Jumping Mechanics. It's Like They Expect Me to Have a Seizure Every Time I Try to Make That Stupid Lil Ass Plumber Jump Over a Damn Goomba
And Speaking of Goombas, Who the Hell Thought It Was a Good Idea to Put Those Annoying Little Creatures in the Game? They're Everywhere! U Can't Go Two Steps Without Running Into One of Them. It's Like They're Tryna Drive Me Insane.
But U Know What Really Gets My Blood Boiling? The Fact That This Game is Just Sooooo Damn Repetitive. Run From Left to Right, Jump on Some Enemies, Collect Some Coins, Whoop-de-fucking-doo Am I Right? I Mean, Come on, Couldn't They Have Come Up With Something a Little Better? A Little More Exciting? Nope, Instead We Get This Bland, Boring, Time-wasting, Uninspired Dump Fest.
And Let's Not Forget About the Music. Oh Golly, the Music. It's Like They Took Every Annoying Sound Effect From the 80s and Mashed Them Together Into One Big, Ear-bleeding Mess. I Swear, if I Hear That Stupid "Dun Dun Dun Dundun Dun Dun" Sound One More Time, I'm Gonna Lose It, Then Im Gonna Destroy My Console and Throw a Fuckin Tomahawk Into My TV Screen, Then Im Gonna Place a Quarter Stick in the Wound and Blow the TV Up to the Pearly Gates.
But U Know What? All of That Shit Isn't Even the Worst Part. The Worst Part is How This Game Has Somehow Become a Beloved Classic. People Actually Look Back on This Thing Fondly? Are They Kidding Me? This Game is a Travesty. It's an Abomination. It's a Psychological Horror Show Masquerading as a Platformer. To Anyone That Likes This Game I Hope Somebody Drives a Weedwhacker Up Ur Foot, and to Anyone Who Developed This Game I Hope They Are Jobless Forever. That Game Sucks & Swallows and Doesn't Spit I Hate That Fucking Game So Fucking Much
First of All, the Controls Are Absolute Garbage. Mario Moves Like He's Got Lead Weights Attached to His Shoes. And Don't Even Get Me Started on the Jumping Mechanics. It's Like They Expect Me to Have a Seizure Every Time I Try to Make That Stupid Lil Ass Plumber Jump Over a Damn Goomba
And Speaking of Goombas, Who the Hell Thought It Was a Good Idea to Put Those Annoying Little Creatures in the Game? They're Everywhere! U Can't Go Two Steps Without Running Into One of Them. It's Like They're Tryna Drive Me Insane.
But U Know What Really Gets My Blood Boiling? The Fact That This Game is Just Sooooo Damn Repetitive. Run From Left to Right, Jump on Some Enemies, Collect Some Coins, Whoop-de-fucking-doo Am I Right? I Mean, Come on, Couldn't They Have Come Up With Something a Little Better? A Little More Exciting? Nope, Instead We Get This Bland, Boring, Time-wasting, Uninspired Dump Fest.
And Let's Not Forget About the Music. Oh Golly, the Music. It's Like They Took Every Annoying Sound Effect From the 80s and Mashed Them Together Into One Big, Ear-bleeding Mess. I Swear, if I Hear That Stupid "Dun Dun Dun Dundun Dun Dun" Sound One More Time, I'm Gonna Lose It, Then Im Gonna Destroy My Console and Throw a Fuckin Tomahawk Into My TV Screen, Then Im Gonna Place a Quarter Stick in the Wound and Blow the TV Up to the Pearly Gates.
But U Know What? All of That Shit Isn't Even the Worst Part. The Worst Part is How This Game Has Somehow Become a Beloved Classic. People Actually Look Back on This Thing Fondly? Are They Kidding Me? This Game is a Travesty. It's an Abomination. It's a Psychological Horror Show Masquerading as a Platformer. To Anyone That Likes This Game I Hope Somebody Drives a Weedwhacker Up Ur Foot, and to Anyone Who Developed This Game I Hope They Are Jobless Forever. That Game Sucks & Swallows and Doesn't Spit I Hate That Fucking Game So Fucking Much
