Venting Thinking of running far away

[onelastsnack]

Hi everyone!

Since I can't really access reliable CTB resources, I've decided to think about moving away from the negative source instead. (yes I am a coward. I am aware of this)

I've been thinking about running away, or more accurately, moving out without telling anyone since I am an adult now and it wouldn't really be considered running away.

I've already made a plan and a friend is willing to let me crash for a bit until I can support myself and fly to somewhere else. I also have some decent savings.

This is nerve wracking for me, especially since I've never done something this major before. I've never sneaked out of the house, never hung out after my curfew or done anything 'bad' really. I've always adhered to strict rules so this is a lot for me.

I know I may sound stupid, but do you think this is a good idea? I'm having doubts because I'm worried about the consequences. My father can get really abusive when he's upset and I'm worried he might blame my mother and do something to her. And I'm also worried at how upset my mother will be. Should I stay for a bit longer since I am still so young and sheltered? I've never been allowed to really explore any further than what I'm allowed to.

I know that I'll be able to live freely if I were to leave, but I've just never been outside like this before. I know the outside is a terrible place and it'll be very difficult for me to support myself on my own but I can do the hard work. I'm just a little doubtful whether or not the outside or my little birdcage is the right call.

 

[Kalista]

the earlier you leave from what you identify as an abusive environment, the better. that is a fact.

weigh what's more important: your life, your mother's, or both.
only you can gauge this situation since none of us know how your situation truly is and how it fully feels for you. which ever you end up choosing, you'll have to accept the consequences however painful it is.

everything comes down to money despite what others might say. this is an absolute priority if you're going to try to continue to live and become independent. have a plan to make sure you don't run low or out of it and that expenses are well managed.

it's going to be painful and anxiety inducing before and after you take action. you already know you can do the 'hard work' and that expresses some determination to leave.
staying sheltered can have its benefits -- benefits that many don't have. but if it's not what YOU want, then the answer is narrowed down.