Thinking I will do SN tonight

[LifeQuitter2018]

It's 2:15 AM here. Two of my cousins are at home. Their rooms are upstair. They've gone to sleep at least 1 hour ago.

The medication I got:
- Motilium (in liquid form, guess I have no choice but to drink 20 - 30ml, since 1ml contains 1mg domperidon).
- Lessenol (500mg Paracetamol + 50mg caffein).

I just drank the Paracetamol 10 minutes ago.

If I decide to change my plan, I will give new update.

If I survive (honestly, I wish I won't) by being saved, being found, waking up on my own, I also try my best to get back here and describe the experience so others user can have beneficial infos.

 

[Judy Garland]

I hope you get what you want in life, or death. Are you nervous? I'm nervous when I think about starting the regiment and the days get closer to when I would like to die. I hope you find peace, truly. This world isn't easy for a lot of people, and we need a way out. I'll be here should you need anyone to talk to.

 

[Flying Away]

Peace be the journey

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

I hope you get what you want in life, or death. Are you nervous? I'm nervous when I think about starting the regiment and the days get closer to when I would like to die. I hope you find peace, truly. This world isn't easy for a lot of people, and we need a way out. I'll be here should you need anyone to talk to.

Yeah I've been very anxious for about 1 week. I'm still anxious today but the anxiety level has dropped a bit, since I've tried to "rationalize" my decision. Plus I know SN has no long-term effect so I can try again.

 

[houseofleaves]

Dear OP, i wish you find what you're looking for.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Update:
I've drank the 22 - 25ml of Motilium.
Still feeling anxious.

My SN is from China and I haven't done the blood test so there could be a chance I fail this attempt.

 

[blue_muse]

Although we're all here for the same reason, it doesn't make it any less sad when a member calls time and CTB.

Take your time. You sound ready though, so I hope you find peace .

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Although we're all here for the same reason, it doesn't make it any less sad when a member calls time and CTB.

Take your time. You sound ready though, so I hope you find peace .

I treat this attempt as a "journey". A "trial". As I know my current CTB conditions aren't perfect.
If I fail, I will try to make some plan and attempt again, although I'm not sure how long until that. Could be tomorrow again or some next months or some years behind.

 

[london3]

I treat this attempt as a "journey". A "trial". As I know my current CTB conditions aren't perfect.
If I fail, I will try to make some plan and attempt again, although I'm not sure how long until that. Could be tomorrow again or some next months or some years behind.

I send you hugs and hope you find peace soon.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Ok I will prepare the 2 cups of SN soon.
I think I will prepare a little bit lower amount of both SN and water than the recommended dose. Something like 15 - 18g of SN in 40ml of water.
To reduce the risk of vomitting and I think i'm a little thin (BMI is 18).

 

[LifeHasNoOptIn]

May your journey be quick and peaceful

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Ok I've finished the 2 SN cups.
Drinking soon. Will switch to my phone.
Moderators please don't delete my account. Just disable it. If I got sent to a psych ward, they may not allow me to use phone / PC / Internet. So I can activate my acc later and report about my experience.

 

[blue_muse]

I treat this attempt as a "journey". A "trial". As I know my current CTB conditions aren't perfect.
If I fail, I will try to make some plan and attempt again, although I'm not sure how long until that. Could be tomorrow again or some next months or some years behind.

It's only in fiction that someone lays on a bed dead, looking peaceful in tidy surroundings.

For a username like yours; you sound brave and determined. I hope it works for you. If things don't go planned, remember you have SS.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from your suffering.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Ok just drank first cup. Taste like sea water. No vomit feeling so far.
Bye guys.
Heartbeat is faster. Still no vomit.
Fuck. I just vomit.
I'm not sure i can go through with second cup.

 

[Judy Garland]

I treat this attempt as a "journey". A "trial". As I know my current CTB conditions aren't perfect.
If I fail, I will try to make some plan and attempt again, although I'm not sure how long until that. Could be tomorrow again or some next months or some years behind.

That's a good way to put it. A journey. A trial. It feels less stressful and less anxiety when I think of it as a journey. Failure has me worrying too. I'm afraid that my neighbors will hear me gasping for air (or snoring loudly, groaning...) and will call the police. Then I'm thinking if that happens, and I'm taken to the hospital...first, how do the police get in my apartment? They have to break the door down. Second, if they break the door down, how do they secure it before they leave after I'm taken in an ambulance. Third, I won't have any clothes with me, no keys, etc. Upon discharge, do I just leave in a hospital gown? And how would I get back into my apartment AND what is the landlord going to do if the police break the door down. I'm stressed out because of these thoughts.

Ok just drank first cup. Taste like sea water. No vomit feeling so far.
Bye guys.
Heartbeat is faster. Still no vomit.
Fuck. I just vomit.
I'm not sure i can go through with second cup.

Oh you did it. :'-( I'm so sorry life has come to this. Don't worry about the second cup if you don't feel like it. How you are feeling? Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Rest in peace sweet soul. And if things turned out differently SS is here for you.

 

[picklemick]

Are you okay?

 

[Jane_]

how are you doing? I wish you the best <3

 

[locked*n*loaded]

That's a lot of hours not hearing anything. Hope they're OK, still with us, or not. Peace.

 

[born2win]

The heck, what happened if he didnt drink the second cup, he kinda hesitated there. man are you ok?

 

[Hope:-)]

Lots and lots of love to you xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Suicideorgy]

The heck, what happened if he didnt drink the second cup, he kinda hesitated there. man are you ok?

Depends on how much was absorbed but I remember a post with a guy that took only 2mg or some very small dose like that and it took hours before he needed to go to the hospital. He would have an hero'd if he didnt go to the hospital.

 

[2dietmrow]

Any update brother
Did it work?

 

[outrider567]

I guess he took the second cup after all--Peace