Venting Thinking about doing it now

[SanguineShark]

I'd do everything to die right now
I have SN but I didn't fast and I drank alcohol & smoked weed
I just don't want to participate in living anymore
I'm suffering
And nothing can fix me anymore, I tried professional psych help but it's just no use
I'd do everything to die in this very moment
Is plastic bag a hard method?

 

[Placo]

I'd do everything to die right now
I have SN but I didn't fast and I drank alcohol & smoked weed
I just don't want to participate in living anymore
I'm suffering
And nothing can fix me anymore, I tried professional psych help but it's just no use
I'd do everything to die in this very moment
Is plastic bag a hard method?

Let's say that with the plastic bag you might have the instinct to remove it, to avoid this I bought some handcuffs for when the time comes.

 

[RejectedKarma]

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this...
Rushed CTB doesn't seem to work that well unless it's violent...
There's no easy method, really
Since you said you have the SN you could maybe take some time to properly plan things around it.

 

[Helween]

I'd do everything to die right now

something happened?

 

[SanguineShark]

something happened?

Just me existing
Reached rock bottom again I guess
With additional taking action to be abused/sexually taken advantage of, I see red flags but not only did I deserve all the abuse I suffered throughout my whole life, I'm pathetic enough that it actually gives me comfort as now my brain associates abuse with love

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this...
Rushed CTB doesn't seem to work that well unless it's violent...
There's no easy method, really
Since you said you have the SN you could maybe take some time to properly plan things around it.

I know
My usual thing I do is dissociate to forget how shit my life is
But I've been severely suicidal for almost 8 years
I got the SN to use it, but I keep getting distracted with shitty hope, worst part of life honestly, there's no true happiness that will ever appear in my life
I've been abused for 23 years, which is my whole life, and I deserved it but the point is that this is not possible to heal
And it's easiest to kill yourself when the impulse and mental breakdown overtakes

Let's say that with the plastic bag you might have the instinct to remove it, to avoid this I bought some handcuffs for when the time comes.

I have duct tape idk

 

[Helween]

i can't say i recommend rushed CTB even if i totally get your point of it being easier when at the bottom of the pit and i can't let you say that you deserved it.. No? No one derserve it, you're broken inside it's awful, but don't let you or anyone give you the idea that it's your fault.

 

[SanguineShark]

i can't say i recommend rushed CTB even if i totally get your point of it being easier when at the bottom of the pit and i can't let you say that you deserved it.. No? No one derserve it, you're broken inside it's awful, but don't let you or anyone give you the idea that it's your fault.

Thank you

 

[Regen]

i can't say i recommend rushed CTB even if i totally get your point of it being easier when at the bottom of the pit and i can't let you say that you deserved it.. No? No one derserve it, you're broken inside it's awful, but don't let you or anyone give you the idea that it's your fault.

Wow, so true...